# Hello? Is anyone there? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 27, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428 "2004-06-27T19:15:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/41 "2004-06-29T20:14:25Z")
Grrr…stupid new mouse, jumping over to “submit reply” instead of “preview” before I got to spellcheck. :mad: Minions! Execute this mouse at once! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stranger\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@The\_Stranger\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stranger_1)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/42 "2004-06-29T20:21:10Z")
RUN mouse.exe THERE! mouse executed… (I love joining a thread two days late and getting the easy tasks!) ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/43 "2004-06-29T20:25:36Z")
: walks up behind **Hal** , sipping on a Bailey’s-n-milk : Who ya talkin’ to? : peers over **Hal** ’s shoulder in interest : _Dungeon Of Unspeakable Horrors_, huh? I was wondering where your laundry went. Here’s the [evil smiley](http://www.suzi-quzi.com/esmilie.gif). Be nice, he’s only on loan. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/44 "2004-06-29T20:40:29Z")
\…that’s what I got for contracting my _Dungeon Of Unspeakable Horrors_ to the lowest bidder. :smack: Anyway, **Stranger** , you’ve proven yourself a loyal minion indeed. I now place you in charge of talking some sense into **harmless**. Good luck…yer gonna need it. :dubious: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/45 "2004-06-30T00:21:35Z")
yeah, um…Hal? About that Dungeon of Unspeakable Horrors? See, there, after the episode with the ‘ale’ and the whores, well, I kinda…accidentally… locked myself in there? And so I ended up having to open the access panel and cut the control wires. So that little switch thingy you have in your office doesn’t…exactly…work anymore. :o And all the Unspeakable Horrors kinda…escaped. :eek: On the brighter side, the Dungeon of used-to-be-Unspeakable Horrors turns out to be the perfect place to put all those Elliptical machines you ordered! ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/46 "2004-06-30T06:41:57Z")
**Hal** You promised me part of the board, now look what you’ve done. I was willing to provide medical services to the Grand Committee. But you’ve ruined it. You have to be punished, Hal. I have the knowledge and the cunning. I also have the access. You will NOT see it coming. Watch your back, Hal. Don’t go to sleep, Hal. Don’t stand by the window, Hal. BRAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHEHEHEHE. (steps into hero suit and and cape.) **tic** don’t worry, I have it handled. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/47 "2004-06-30T13:26:30Z")
Ummm, excuse me, **picunurse** …let’s recap, shall we? You say I “promised [you] part of the board”? I do not recall making any such promise. You may be thinking of this… > [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > Well, if it was up to me I would give you Staff Reports, ATMB, and a portion of Cafe Society involving recent works of literature and Harry Potter fan clubs. But unfortunately **Hal** ’s the boss now and I guess it is up to him. > > But I’m sure if **you ask real nice** he let you have it. (bolding mine) I’ll be damned. I didn’t even notice the subliminals **tick** had used. D’oh. All the vast riches of these fourms could have been yours, had you just asked. And now you seek to make threats over results garnered from your own mistakes? Unwise. However, as always, I am a forgiving, benevolent dictator. Simply hop up on that photocopier over there for a bit and all will be forgiven. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/48 "2004-06-30T13:40:01Z")
Clothahump wanders in, carrying a large, dripping pie in each hand. “These boards have now been siezed. Resistance is futile, and will be met with…PIE!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@sofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sofia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/49 "2004-06-30T13:55:26Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Good score, **sofia**. I hearby appoint you _Secretary In Charge Of Finding Cool Crap For Decorating And Defending Castle Briston_. Okay… **Clothahump,** since I’m supposed to be in charge of this, would you set those pies on the table over there…next to the brownies and cheesecakes? Oh! Those are weapons? Then set them over _there_–next to all the crates of whipped cream. they might not be lethal, but they’re bound to be fun… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stranger\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@The\_Stranger\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stranger_1)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/50 "2004-06-30T13:57:52Z")
I’m sorry Hal, I don’t make a very good loyal minion. I executed your mouse in a burst of goodwill. (well, goodwill towards all except the mouse…) as far as talkin sense into **harmless** I’m not much of a talker, (see my post count/join date) but there IS this Deathray that folks keep leaving about… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/51 "2004-06-30T16:30:59Z")
Oh, sorry **Stranger** , didn’t you get the Minion Memo? “Talking-to” is just a euphemism for “torture and brainwash until the subject is a happy member of the family again”. Please, feel free to help yourself to some death rays, if it’ll help you in your task. Now then, I’ve got to get back to plotting the destru_OOOO!_ Pie! Good work, **Clothahump** and **sofia**! ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/52 "2004-06-30T16:48:37Z")
Are we all ready for my maniacal laugh? …good. Then I’ll begin. BWA HA HA HA HA!! You may have the power now **Hal** but you forget that there are still those who rank above you in the food chain. MODS!!! And seeing as this is _my_ thread then one little call and it will all be over. I think it’s time for another maniacal laugh, don’t you? …good. BWA HA HA HA HA!! Oh shall I do it, shall I, SHALL I **HAL**!!! You’ve driven me to madness. If I can’t be supreme ruler of the boards no-one can. \*\*Mods please close this thread as soon as possible. It has run it’s course Signed nocturnal\_tick, thread starter.\*\* …I feel better now that **Hal** is all _NOOOOOOO!!!_. I don’t even need to laugh maniacally again…oh just once more. BWA HA HA HA HA!! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428/53 "2004-06-30T16:57:43Z")
Well. All righty, then. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-is-anyone-there/252428.md?page=2)