# Hello! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315 "2012-04-19T20:18:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/21 "2012-04-20T02:53:32Z")
Welcome, welcome! Would you like some ice cream? It’s wasabi mint. I just made it and it hasn’t escaped yet. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/22 "2012-04-20T03:59:38Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > How would that possibly be a problem for Chuck Norris? He could take them all! In real life, I’m Bruce Lee. We know what happened when they last met, don’t we? ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/23 "2012-04-20T04:52:12Z")
> [@Chuck\_Norris](#): > > Hello there! It was the “Top ten scientific proofs of creationism”. After some debate with a colleague of mine who has relatively recently become a Christian, I found myself somewhat ill-equipped to battle some of the seemingly well formed arguments he was posing, even though I could smell the manure eminating from every statement. I therefore decided to do some research, et voila! Now there’s where you went wrong. Chuck Norris is a staunch Republican and Christian. There’s even a link to Christian Resources on Norris’ site. I’m sorry. I love the Chuck Norris jokes too but after I learned what I learned, I am going with Vin Diesel. So to Chuck Norris (you and him) I say :rolleyes: and :dubious: and 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chuck\_Norris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85e7bf/32.png) [@Chuck\_Norris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chuck_Norris)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/24 "2012-04-20T07:00:41Z")
> [@Simmerdown](#): > > Forgive me, **Chuck Norris** , I was being utterly pointless and mundane when I should have been welcoming your appearance. I’ve never welcomed anyone to the board before and wasn’t sure if it was really my place, IMHO. But I shouldn’t elect to get into any sort of a great debate about it, if you don’t mind, and I will thank you for not immediately poking me with a barbecue toasting fork as I am not in the marketplace for a pitting. While I can’t comment on any of Cecil’s columns or staff reports I am game (and have room in my schedule) for answering any general questions you may have about this message board. > > Sincerely, > A dopey straight guy from Chicago > > P.S. Welcome! Ha, not at all mate! I was trying to come up with some witty quip about having to house the goldfish in a titanium bowl, but gave up and went to bed. 😃 Thank you for the welcome. Chefguy, I am in fact an engineer of sorts, recently graduated (2010) and hoping to move from asset integrity management into drilling engineering very shortly (fingers crossed). While I am by no means an expert, I have had a fair amount of exposure to the workings of the oil industry and understand the nature of the beast. If you are in fact Bruce Lee, our last meeting would have been the one with the bottle of Tequila/Saki mix and the oversized set of nun chucks, right? As for Blood Sport, I see no reason to bring JCVD into the equation just yet!! I am guessing that a pit thread is akin to trolling for arguments? Never fear Regallag, I am having trouble translating my roundhouse kicks into a textual format at the moment and thus have been rendered useless; like Superman with Cryptonite rammed up his arse. Wasabi mint ice cream sounds awful I have to say, but at least you could eat it directly after brushing your teeth. And as for vin Diesel, pah! At the very least, ‘The Rock’! He is supposedly quite the intellectual off the screen, and can cause a tsunami with the lift of an eyebrow. Thank you all for the kind welcomes! ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/25 "2012-04-20T07:03:51Z")
> [@Chuck\_Norris](#): > > After some debate with a colleague of mine… It was Jackie Chan, wasn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/26 "2012-04-20T07:11:54Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Welcome, welcome! Would you like some ice cream? It’s wasabi mint. I just made it and it hasn’t escaped yet. > [@Chuck\_Norris](#): > > Wasabi mint ice cream sounds awful I have to say, but at least you could eat it directly after brushing your teeth. Okay somebody help me out here. I thought it was the squid for newbies first, then the wasasbi mint ice cream. Are we jumping to the wasabi mint ice cream before the squid? Did I miss the memo? (_Again?_) Welcome, **Chuck**! ---
**Author:** ![Chuck\_Norris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85e7bf/32.png) [@Chuck\_Norris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chuck_Norris)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/27 "2012-04-20T14:20:47Z")
So long as there are no paddles involved, I’m game! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/28 "2012-04-20T14:23:34Z")
May I call you Charles? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/29 "2012-04-20T14:24:32Z")
> [@Chuck\_Norris](#): > > So long as there are no paddles involved, I’m game! Right! Kayaks at 20 metres! With wasabi mint ice cream for the winner. [sub] And double for the loser.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/30 "2012-04-20T16:27:03Z")
> [@Chuck\_Norris](#): > > I am Chuck Norris, and I have joined this forum in an effort to connect with the common man. Plus I’m tired of doing roundhouse kicks. > > While browsing the internet earlier today, I stumbled across what I considered to be some **well informed debate taking place, and read a full three pages of other peoples’ opinions. While being heated at points, it remained respectful, on topic, and interesting.** For the first time, I felt that I would like to be part of such debate. So here I am! What message board were you reading when you encountered that strange phenomenon? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/31 "2012-04-20T16:46:07Z")
OK, I’ve got the squid freshening up in the bathroom over at my place (don’t ask, you’d be sorry) and it should be here shortly. For now, I have the paddles: one for you, **Chuck** and one for **Clothahump**. Humpy will fight left-handed just so Mr. Norris can have the advantage. ---
**Author:** ![Chuck\_Norris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85e7bf/32.png) [@Chuck\_Norris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chuck_Norris)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/32 "2012-04-21T05:32:02Z")
I warn you now, I know Ping-Pong. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/33 "2012-04-21T06:11:04Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Welcome, welcome! Would you like some ice cream? It’s wasabi mint. I just made it and it hasn’t escaped yet. This made me chuckle out loud. 😛 Welcome, Chuck! ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/34 "2012-04-21T18:44:05Z")
When I saw the OP (post and poster), my first thought was “Oh no, here’s somebody who thinks they’re ‘funny’. This will not go well.” I must say that I was very much mistaken. Welcome, **Chuck**! Please stick around. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/35 "2012-04-21T22:28:05Z")
I just came to say [hello](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnET4RKXx5k). ---
**Author:** ![Chuck\_Norris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85e7bf/32.png) [@Chuck\_Norris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chuck_Norris)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2012, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315/36 "2012-04-22T07:06:53Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > This made me chuckle out loud. 😛 > > Welcome, Chuck! Aye me too I have to say! Hello Taomist, Planton, and Covered in Bees. Nice name by the way; paints quite the picture! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/619315.md?page=1)