# Hello! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 29, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242 "2012-10-29T18:33:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/161 "2012-11-01T00:39:48Z")
I have a beef with the direction this thread is taking. Why is the herd dropping vegetation derived cowpats all over the field? Cecil’s mignon’s need to stop mincing about, outflank the hijackers, cow them into submission, grab this thread by the horns, chuck this nonsense before I round on someone and shank them, and get it back to the bovine. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/162 "2012-11-01T02:19:29Z")
Too much. I’m suffering from cattle-fatigue. I come to this thread. I start reading it. I groan. I titter. The mirth shakes my body. Enough! If I keep reading this silly thread I’ll probably have a heart attack. I’ll end up bed-ridden. Then my wife and neighbors would have to take care of me —all because of this cow-pun thread. No! The last thing I want to be is aberdeen on my family and friends. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/163 "2012-11-01T02:54:37Z")
This thread needs a soundtrack. I suggest Atom Heart Mother. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/164 "2012-11-01T02:57:44Z")
:o Oops. Grocer’s apostrophe. Well, butcher’s apostrophe, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/165 "2012-11-01T03:18:24Z")
> [@Sicks Ate ... Brainsss!](#): > > I don’t get it. It was high-grade Andy Kaufman type humor. Most people just don’t _get it_, man. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/166 "2012-11-01T03:25:45Z")
This thread is really getting milked for all it’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![Jan\_John\_Cobham\_Salad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Jan\_John\_Cobham\_Salad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jan_John_Cobham_Salad)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/167 "2012-11-01T03:40:47Z")
Oh Kate. You had me at beef…and lost me with guys. I thought we had something special. Alas, I’m not one to share. Be gone, salacious beef temptress. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/168 "2012-11-01T03:43:17Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > This thread is really getting milked for all it’s worth. Yep. Every bad pun from A to Zebu ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/169 "2012-11-01T03:43:45Z")
This is all just udder nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/170 "2012-11-01T04:59:10Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > Yep. Every bad pun from A to Zebu Okey dokey then. A is for Angus B is for Bovine (obviously) C is Cow… keep it going, guys… ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/171 "2012-11-01T05:23:11Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Okey dokey then. > > A is for Angus > B is for Bovine (obviously) > C is Cow… > > keep it going, guys… D is for Dung E is for Elsie F is for Flossie… ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/172 "2012-11-01T05:49:27Z")
[quote=“Blonde “Fright Wig” Bear, post:163, topic:639242”] This thread needs a soundtrack. I suggest Atom Heart Mother. [/QUOTE] Well, Captain Beefheart bought the farm, so, yeah, maybe… If there’s enough cowbell… ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/173 "2012-11-01T09:13:56Z")
1. I’m tired of beef jerking us around. 2. People who live in porter houses shouldn’t throw puns. 3. Hi, \*\*Offal \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/174 "2012-11-01T09:45:17Z")
I think this thread’s ground to a halt. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/175 "2012-11-01T14:17:40Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > I think this thread’s ground to a halt. No such luck… > [@Biotop](#): > > D is for Dung > E is for Elsie > F is for Flossie… G is for Guernsey H and I are for Heifer International ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/176 "2012-11-01T15:00:58Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I’ve never seen a thread that had as much bull as this one. This thread needs more cowbell. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/177 "2012-11-01T15:37:40Z")
**How about limericks?** * * * There once was an online beef store That promised steaks right to your door But none came to feed Instead a stampede Of puns —and nothing more! ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/178 "2012-11-01T15:52:15Z")
‘Try our beef!’ said KatePS, ‘You must!’ ‘You’ll love doing business with us!’ We never did taste; She was banished, post haste, To the dismay of **Simple Linctus**. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/179 "2012-11-01T15:57:02Z")
Kate’s cheery “Hello!” Promised friendship, fun, and beef; Puerile puns followed. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello/639242/180 "2012-11-01T16:08:51Z")
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