# Help a guy work out how he's going to explain this to his g/f's mother... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 17, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795 "2003-11-17T23:08:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BlueMidget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@BlueMidget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueMidget)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/1 "2003-11-17T23:08:05Z")
Ok it’s not as bad as you may think, by that I mean I didn’t get her pregnant! In fact it’s quite tame, but I still feel I need to apologise to her mother, as she noticed the great throbbing hickie on her neck and decided to let hell loose on my girly and tell her that when she was once a young girl, there was a name given to those wielding hickes on their necks! Yeah it was probably a stupid place to put it, but it was a spur of the moment kinda thing (and she does like being kissed on her neck…) Anyhoo, anyone care to help me build up a short monologue that I can recite to her mother to try and regain some respect? Thankee… BlueMidget ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/2 "2003-11-17T23:35:24Z")
Wait a minute…You gave your girlfriend’s mom a huge hicky…but shes not pregnant (that you know of)…but if she is…your son/daughter would be your girlfriend’s brother/sister! Dude! That is creepy! Also, see sig. 😃 * * * She told me she loved me like a brother. She was from Arkansas, hence the Joy! ---
**Author:** ![Grelby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a5b964/32.png) [@Grelby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grelby)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/3 "2003-11-17T23:36:52Z")
Um… apologize to her mother? :dubious: I dunno, I think it might be wise to never, ever mention it. Might be dangerous to do so. Certainly wouldn’t make you look good to bring it up. Maybe I’m wrong, but I can’t imagine how apologizing for a hickey could ever be a good idea… ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/4 "2003-11-17T23:41:30Z")
If she’s the kind of woman who has problems on that level, she’s superficial enough to let all sorts of crap go un-dealt-with and un-apologised. From experience of a very similar pseudo-mother-in-law (!). ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/5 "2003-11-17T23:43:32Z")
How old is your girlfriend? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/6 "2003-11-17T23:48:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BlueMidget \* > **she noticed the great throbbing hickie on her neck and decided to let hell loose on my girly and tell her that when she was once a young girl, there was a name given to those wielding hickes on their necks!** Yeah . . . “Lucky.” I’m probably the same age as your g/f’s mother, and no one can tell me that there wasn’t any petting and bundling back then! ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/7 "2003-11-17T23:50:40Z")
I second the motion on not bringing it up EVER. If the girl’s of age, it’s none of her mother’s business. My parents didn’t butt in when I came home from a date looking like I’d been mauled by a tag team of Dracula and the Wolf Man. I eventually married the culprit too, and they’ve never held it against him. ---
**Author:** ![BlueMidget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@BlueMidget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueMidget)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/8 "2003-11-17T23:52:34Z")
We’re both 18 (in the UK), and no, **gatopescado** , i didn’t giver her mum a hickie! Her mother noticed it before she did (I also didn’t see it) and decided to shout at her. I don’t really want to talk to her about it but I don’t think I’d be doing myself any favours to not bring it up and apologise. One thing her mum said to her was “what will people think?!”, which I think is a bit of a crap remark, I mean I don’t really care what people think of me, even if I had a sign on me which said “I’m the most gormless goit in the world!”, I’d just grin and bear it, regardless of what some bloke I don’t know thinks of me… BludMidget ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/9 "2003-11-17T23:54:21Z")
Another vote for not apologizing. In fact, point to it and say to her mom “Pretty good, huh?” Don’t forget to look proud and be thankful that she didn’t see the other hickies you put on various parts of your g/f’s body. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by misstee_ > > **How old is your girlfriend?** And what’s the age of consent for hickies? Don’t get me wrong, but if her mom has a problem with a hickey then she’s probably thinking a lot more about what _else_ went on. In the scheme of things this is small potatoes. ---
**Author:** ![BlueMidget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@BlueMidget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueMidget)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/10 "2003-11-18T00:01:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Horseflesh** > be thankful that she didn’t see the other hickies you put on various parts of your g/f’s body. Hmm… that’s true… > [@](#): > > Also originally posted by **Horseflesh** > she’s probably thinking a lot more about what else went on Yeah, her mother referred to what we were up to as “god knows what”, so I’m presuming she’s presuming that we were… “at it”?.. i presume… (for the record, we weren’t, just kissing, cuddling, biting, the usual) What probably doesn’t help is that my g/f enjoys bouncing on the bed while her parents are in, and while I’m in the room with her… not the best of ideas IMO! ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/11 "2003-11-18T00:43:32Z")
Tell her you were getting kinky with a vacuum cleaner, then dive through the closest window. ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/12 "2003-11-18T04:06:11Z")
Least said, soonest mended. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/13 "2003-11-18T06:46:04Z")
Pretend it never happened unless someone else mentions it first. If the mom brings it up, just say something along the lines of “I’m very sorry you had to see that, and I will do my best to make sure that you don’t have to deal with this situation ever again.” Don’t mention what actually happened, since everyone knows. Just sort of vaguely refer to it. It’s kind of a lame-ass apology, but if you plan to give her daughter hickies ever again, even if they’re more discreet hickies, it’s the only honest one. ---
**Author:** ![No\_Disguise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9f8e36/32.png) [@No\_Disguise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Disguise)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/14 "2003-11-18T07:34:14Z")
I agree that you shouldn’t bring it up. But if you must, elfbabe’s advice sounds sound to me. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/15 "2003-11-18T07:43:35Z")
Tell her next time you’ll put it where no-one will see it. That’ll shut her up. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Wisp00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/977dab/32.png) [@Wisp00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wisp00)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/16 "2003-11-18T07:49:08Z")
No! don’t bring it up! Mom’s not gonna feel any better (what, you’re gonna convince her you’ll stop?) and that seems like the most awkward and embarrassing conversation I can imagine! If her Mom’s anything like my parents, best just to let her forget about it. BTW, what did your gf say when you suggested apologizing? ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/17 "2003-11-18T08:05:55Z")
Sorry, **B/M** that’s right…you don’t bring it up. But if she wants to show her ass about it. Let her know that she won’t have to worry about seeing anymore hickeys. BTW I hate to admit it. But I’m not too crazy about seeing a big or a bunch of hickeys either. I always make sure their hidden. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![j\_sum1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@j\_sum1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_sum1)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/18 "2003-11-18T12:02:54Z")
I hear that tere are [other explanations](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=209353) for that kind of thing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/19 "2003-11-18T12:08:43Z")
Don’t apologise to her mother. It’s not of her business. I’m 18 too, and my mother wasn’t impressed when she saw a hickey on my neck. But she got over it. I’d have laughed my ass off if I saw my b/f apologising to her about it! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/20 "2003-11-18T12:17:26Z")
What happened to the tried-n-true “hair curlering iron” excuse? That worked for a HS girlfriend of mine after I got too enthusiastic on her neck, as I recall… OK, that, and turtleneck sweaters. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795.md?page=2)