# Help a guy work out how he's going to explain this to his g/f's mother... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 17, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795 "2003-11-17T23:08:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/21 "2003-11-18T14:35:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > **And what’s the age of consent for hickies?** I thought you couldn’t consent to physical harm even if it was pleasurable? Anyway, I’d to talk to your girlfriend about it, see if apologising is at all likely to help, first. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/22 "2003-11-18T14:44:26Z")
NEVER EVER SPEAK TO YOUR GIRLFRIENDS PARENTS ABOUT THE SEX YOU HAVING WITH THIER KID! EVER! ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/23 "2003-11-18T14:46:42Z")
That’s not physical harm. Tell her it was a medical experiment-testing capillary refill under negative pressure conditions. 😃 Seriously, one more vote for less is more. Speak not a word, and keep future love bites out of sight. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/24 "2003-11-18T14:49:33Z")
Count me in the Zebra camp. There can be nothing positive that you can say at this point. If, however, the mum brings it up, then I’d go Elfbabe’s response. It’s classic. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BlueMidget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@BlueMidget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueMidget)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/25 "2003-11-18T14:57:56Z")
OK, I think I get the idea - DON’T SAY ANYTHING!!! Cheers all, I think you may have saved me from more minor embarassment… ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/26 "2003-11-18T18:00:48Z")
Just be thankful that her mom doesn’t see more of her. My GF (who’s 28) lets her mom see her pretty much naked sometimes (it’s some sort of cultural thing, she’s not shy around her mom) and her mom noticed some early hickey experiments on her umm…chest area. She didn’t comment (because her mom is really cool) but if she freaked I think I wouldn’t be seeing my MIL until after the wedding 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/27 "2003-11-18T21:10:57Z")
If she does challenge you about it, offer to repeat the exercise with her. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/28 "2003-11-18T22:35:44Z")
“Geez Lousie, it’s just a CHANCRE! Don’t have a coronary!” ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/29 "2003-11-19T01:05:02Z")
Hickeys = SEX :eek: But I swear I didn’t have sex with that girl. My how the world has changed. I recall a time when guys thought if you even wore a condom it wasn’t really sex. Oral sex… no such thing, that was something done to keep from having sex. Masturba…sshhh NEVER say that word, not cool. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/30 "2003-11-19T06:38:18Z")
“What, you want I should let your daughter die of snakebite?” ---
**Author:** ![T.Slothrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@T.Slothrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.Slothrop)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/31 "2003-11-20T00:15:42Z")
the GF was helping you practice for the Dracula part in that play. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795/32 "2003-11-20T00:45:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BlueMidget \* > **…even if I had a sign on me which said “I’m the most gormless goit in the world!”…** What on earth is a “gormless goit”? 😕 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-guy-work-out-how-hes-going-to-explain-this-to-his-g-fs-mother/213795.md?page=1)