# Help a lonely guy out, ladies. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2000, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-lonely-guy-out-ladies/19202 "2000-05-11T04:18:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-lonely-guy-out-ladies/19202/21 "2000-05-12T00:51:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Green Bean, you’re kidding, right? Right? > > **My fiancée’s name is Elizabeth!** :eek: I am not kidding. My name really is Elizabeth. I may or may not be your fiancee… ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-lonely-guy-out-ladies/19202/22 "2000-05-12T00:54:25Z")
Green Bean, I’m driving home right now, and if the computer is still warm, I will discover the truth! If not, I will come in this thread tomorrow and reveal that you’ve been trying to confuse this young man. 😛 Ta-ta! ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-lonely-guy-out-ladies/19202/23 "2000-05-12T04:21:59Z")
Tips 1. Begin energetically, and then slow to a long passionate kiss. Girls will think this is “dreamy.” 2. While performing the above, gently, subtly inhale to draw the breath out of your partner, to leave her breathless. In a year or two women catch on and prevent this from happening. Until then, your reputation has Don Juan is assured. 1. Every night a woman sleeps alone is a black mark against man-kind. So do your part. PS: get them to laugh and all else will be forgiven. Practice makes perfect - go for it! (dictated by the Mad Kisser of B.K.) ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-lonely-guy-out-ladies/19202/24 "2000-05-12T15:05:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Iswote has the right idea. Start off slow and light. Follow her lead. > > A little tip: Gentle lip sucking. Suck slowly on her lower lip. If she respons positivily, try nibbling _very_ gently. If she likes that, then try running the tip of your tongue along her lip as you suck on it. \*\* Work up to this maneuver.\*\* Slow, light lip kisses are and excellent way to make your kissing introductions. Take your time, and pay attention to how she responds. > > Heh. That last sentence applies to sex, too. 😉 > > So basically, take your time and follow her lead, and you’ll do fine.\*\* > > Hey, I think he was asking about those lips on her head, not the other ones 🙂 What can I say. It works for both sets! It’s modular advice. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-lonely-guy-out-ladies/19202/25 "2000-05-12T21:14:24Z")
Hey, Sealemon–wanna go make out? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-lonely-guy-out-ladies/19202/26 "2000-05-13T00:41:44Z")
Oh, and don’t forget to relax your own lips. Particularly the bottom lip. Definitely increases the sensuosity factor for both parties. ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-lonely-guy-out-ladies/19202/27 "2000-05-13T21:24:50Z")
> [@](#): > > The other posters are way off the mark! Use as much tongue as you can, in fact try to lick her whole face in one fell swoop. Pull her tongue in your mouth and suck as hard as you can. At the same time, try to grope as many body parts as possible. Why does an overzealous puppy come to mind when I read this? lol [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-a-lonely-guy-out-ladies/19202.md?page=1)