# Help! Cardinal grammeters out of sync! Need answer fast! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 28, 2012, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052 "2012-03-28T16:04:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dog80](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@Dog80](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dog80)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/1 "2012-03-28T16:04:17Z")
I have trouble syncing my cardinal grammeters. Also my metapolar refractive pilfrometer is acting up lately. Where can I find a replacemet? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/2 "2012-03-28T16:27:46Z")
> [@Dog80](#): > > I have trouble syncing my cardinal grammeters. > > Also my metapolar refractive pilfrometer is acting up lately. Where can I find a replacemet? Still looking for information on synchronizing cardinal grammeters. And I checked [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com) for metapolar refractive pilfrometers. Bad news. The closest they could get me was a CD of “Best of the Big Band Singers.” Does that help at all? It’s got Doris Day AND Dick Haymes. I’ll check over on ebay. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/3 "2012-03-28T16:39:54Z")
Did you RTFM of your Turbo-encabulator? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/4 "2012-03-28T16:56:11Z")
Have you tried adjusting their fractal basin boundaries? Percussive maintenance is my first fix every time. Sorry I don’t have more to add. I really sympathize. Having poorly timed CGs is enough to give a body acute upper abdominal postprandial distention. You might as well yank the pilfrometer entirely and let the whole mess go transpofinite. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/5 "2012-03-28T17:07:10Z")
Try re-calibrating your chronosynclastic infindibulum. That always works for me. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/6 "2012-03-28T17:30:07Z")
One of the flayrods is askew on the treadle. Oops wrong thread. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/7 "2012-03-28T17:44:02Z")
It’s often just a simple matter of readjusting the frumious cnidoblast. WARNING: Do not obvisiate the horitonic plasmation feed. This can cause a polutious cranisvantion, which can destroy the xanaphere ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/8 "2012-03-28T17:49:16Z")
Has one of the CGs’ auxiliary pump been sped up enough to cause cavitation? That can throw them out of sync. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/9 "2012-03-28T17:51:06Z")
I hate it when that happens. BTW, does anyone have a spare kronkulator for my Interocitor? ---
**Author:** ![Cell\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Cell\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cell_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/10 "2012-03-28T18:04:17Z")
> [@Dog80](#): > > I have trouble syncing my cardinal grammeters. Pull the battery. That will get it working for you. > [@](#): > > Also my metapolar refractive pilfrometer is acting up lately. Where can I find a replacemet? [If only there was a place on the internet you could search for something like that.](http://lmgtfy.com/?q=metapolar+refractive+pilfrometer) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/11 "2012-03-28T18:09:37Z")
Oh for goodness sakes, stop making this so difficult. Connect it to your laptop with a USB cable, then CTRL-ALT-DEL. Honestly, people, it’s so basic! sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/12 "2012-03-28T18:12:22Z")
Sounds like a clear-cut case of Fibia Tibia to me. Last time that happen in my house, we had to reknurl every other klystron before we got things sorted out. Be careful, though, that you only knurl them in a clockwise direction, or you might have to cross the proton streams to get rid of the mess. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/13 "2012-03-28T18:15:32Z")
The differential griddle spring is probably loose. Also check the bypass hose to the Metzler valve, sometimes they leak. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/14 "2012-03-28T18:31:48Z")
Awww, come on guys, it’s so simple maybe you need a refresher course. It’s all ball bearings nowadays! ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/15 "2012-03-28T18:47:47Z")
[The World’s Foremost Authority](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxtN0xxzfsw) speaks out. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/16 "2012-03-28T19:23:13Z")
Increase the Flash Gordon noise and put more science stuff around. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/17 "2012-03-28T19:38:09Z")
Set it to Isolinear dynamic mode. Then RUN! ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/18 "2012-03-28T23:47:09Z")
Nah. Just hold it two inches above your desk and let go. That will fix anything. (I still remember being told to try that a long time ago by a manufacturer of some phototypesetting hardware when their keyboards acted flaky). ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/19 "2012-03-29T00:33:53Z")
In THIS situation only, I recommend crossing the streams. ---
**Author:** ![figure9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052/20 "2012-03-29T00:51:42Z")
Dirt will impair the functioning of cardinal grammeters. Install an oscillating degunkulator. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-cardinal-grammeters-out-of-sync-need-answer-fast/617052.md?page=2)