# Help! Evil Muslims are out to get meeeeeee! (For Valteron and Perciful) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 25, 2010, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476 "2010-06-25T12:37:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/121 "2010-06-26T07:38:20Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Given that you are motivated by logic and not a base irrational fear of people who are not of your culture, I assume you go nowhere near your father and brothers without a bulletproof jacket and a bodyguard, seeing as how they are far and away the most likely subset of people likely to kill you. > > Right? Right? What the hell? What makes you think his father and brothers are in the more violent subset of Americans? A violent individual is more likely to commit a violent act than non-violent relatives. The comparison only becomes valid when comparing all people, violent or not, to your relatives–then your relatives are more likely to commit violent acts towards you. Most rational people are more afraid of violent individuals are more afraid of violent individuals than non-violent ones. If you aren’t, what’s wrong with you? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/122 "2010-06-26T08:04:02Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > What the hell? What makes you think his father and brothers are in the more violent subset of Americans? A violent individual is more likely to commit a violent act than non-violent relatives. The comparison only becomes valid when comparing all people, violent or not, to your relatives–then your relatives are more likely to commit violent acts towards you. > > Most rational people are more afraid of violent individuals are more afraid of violent individuals than non-violent ones. If you aren’t, what’s wrong with you? Are you more likely to be killed by a Muslim or a family member? Survey says! Family member! ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/123 "2010-06-26T08:50:18Z")
> [@DanBlather](#): > > ETA: and those of you not concerned with Islamic terrorism are welcome to board your own separate planes that do not screen luggage. Honestly, I’m not convinced the current security policies aboard airplanes even do much to deter terrorism. I’ve heard it described as “security theatre” and I think that’s mostly correct. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/124 "2010-06-26T09:07:06Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > What the hell? What makes you think his father and brothers are in the more violent subset of Americans? Statistically speaking, the vast majority of murders are committed by a close family member. And men are statistically more likely to be murderers than women. So, statistically speaking, if you have any brothers or your father is still around, stay the fuck away from them, because out of all the people on the planet, they are far and away the most likely to take your ass out. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/125 "2010-06-26T09:18:38Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > What the hell? What makes you think his father and brothers are in the more violent subset of Americans? A violent individual is more likely to commit a violent act than non-violent relatives. The comparison only becomes valid when comparing all people, violent or not, to your relatives–then your relatives are more likely to commit violent acts towards you. What the hell? What makes him think Muslims are in the more violent subset of people? A violent individual is more likely to commit a violent act than non-violent Muslims. The comparison only becomes valid when comparing all people, violent or not, to violent Muslims --then violent Muslims are more likely to commit violent acts towards him than all people. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/126 "2010-06-26T11:14:14Z")
> [@Valgard](#): > > Satan’s Swiss Army Knife Band name? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/127 "2010-06-26T11:15:11Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Statistically speaking Band name! ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/128 "2010-06-26T11:50:34Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > What the hell? What makes you think his father and brothers are in the more violent subset of Americans? Well what the hell makes him think that me and mine are in the more violent subset of Americans/American residents because of the religion we practice? Assumptions work both ways. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/129 "2010-06-26T12:25:22Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > Well what the hell makes him think that me and mine are in the more violent subset of Americans/American residents because of the religion we practice? Embarrassingly public cowardice and ignorance, it appears. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/130 "2010-06-26T12:26:46Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Embarrassingly public cowardice and ignorance, it appears. Figures. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/131 "2010-06-26T12:53:12Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Failing that, we could always train Muslim sniffing dogs, I suppose. Why again do we want Muslim dogs? I’ve been trying to teach **Attackdog** the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold path, and I don’t really think he’s getting it. Although, to be fair, he’s cool with the lack of possessions and the begging. Y’know that Zen story where the leper’s thumb falls in the beggar’s bowl? He’d have no problem. I doubt he’d do as well with Islam though, especially the dietary restrictions, since he’ll fight like hell to eat a old piece of ham that he finds in the grass. Anyway, we already have \*\*Angua, \*\*so assuming that she can sniff, we have our own Muslim sniffing werewolf! ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/132 "2010-06-26T14:12:05Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > Why? Because in one scenario I want to blow you up, and the other I just want to rip you jugular out with my claws? That would be to drain the blood so that the flesh would be halal, I guess? When I think of it, it must sucks to be an observant muslim or jewish vampire… ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/133 "2010-06-26T14:17:41Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > When I think of it, it must sucks to be an observant muslim or jewish vampire… That’s nothing. Think of the poor Jehovah’s Witness vampires. ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/134 "2010-06-26T14:30:08Z")
I demand to be included in this rant! ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/135 "2010-06-26T15:20:32Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Of _course_ I am! Everyone should have a friend like me! > > But who’s **Argent Towers** and when did you suggest I was him in disguise? **Argent Towers** was a guy who knew a lot about armor and art, and I thought he was a solid poster. He dropped off the boards after a [thread=552422]kerfluffle involving _Hogg_[/thread], a favourite book -or perhaps obsession - of his. During the kerfluffle it became apparent that most people could not tell the difference between **Argent Towers** and **Agent Foxtrot** , so he changed his handle to **Tours d’Argent** , and soon stopped posting here. This would have been in February or March. You started posting here soon afterwards, and, like **AT** , you seem to be a young guy, and a fairly prolific poster (although at 3602 since March, versus **AT** ’s 11,000 since '05, prolific may not be a sufficient descriptor). I made the suggestion in [thread=566305] this thread[/thread], as a [post=12551905] a throwaway line[/post] when the damned book was mentioned. You’re not actually that much alike, but the stopped posting/started posting time was similar. No offence was intended, it was meant as a jibe, but obviously you didn’t see it. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/136 "2010-06-26T15:35:23Z")
Wait, so was being compared to **Towers** supposed to be a compliment or an insult? If the latter, I’ll release the hounds! You saw what happened last time someone tried to pit me! _Evil laughter._ ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/137 "2010-06-26T16:17:10Z")
Neither. Actually, I liked the guy, so it would have been a compliment if anything, but in fact it was merely that the f-ing book was mentioned, and I had already noted in my mind that you had arrived just as AT had left. A complete decryption would be: \*Hogg. \* Where is **Argent Towers** to blah blah about Hogg? **Argent Towers** is gone. No one will blah blah about \*Hogg. \* Wait, isn’t there a new guy who showed up just when **AT** left? Wouldn’t it be funny if he were really **Argent Towers** and he started talking about _Hogg_? Hee Hee. That is funny, I shall post it. Can we consider this dead horse beaten? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/138 "2010-06-26T16:45:22Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > I demand to be included in this rant! Danes are terrorists! ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/139 "2010-06-26T16:47:20Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > I demand to be included in this rant! I mean this in the nicest way possible–you (and magellan01, in this thread already) are not NEARLY close to the heights of frothing insanity that Perciful and Valteron can hit. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476/140 "2010-06-26T16:50:14Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > Danes are terrorists! I’m pretty sure the 9th Century residents of Northumbria and East Anglia would agree. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-evil-muslims-are-out-to-get-meeeeeee-for-valteron-and-perciful/544476.md?page=8)