# Help! Fantasy Football (NFL) Team Name Needed **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2002, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924 "2002-07-26T13:06:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/21 "2002-07-30T06:31:42Z")
If you’re in a fantasy league with a bunch of high schoolers you could go with the 69ers. Then there’s my personal favorite, the Bootleggers. ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/22 "2002-07-30T13:18:39Z")
**RickJay** : “Toronto Saurus-Wrecks” Too bad Toronto blew their chance to do this themselves… this is a much more creative choice than the Toronto Raptors. **Dignan** : “69ers” Nope, we’re not high-schoolers. Although most of us were _in_ high school in '69. Hmmm. Actually, the double-entendre might work. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/23 "2002-07-30T13:49:33Z")
I believe Dave Letterman once had a top ten list of rejected NFL expansion team names. My favorite was “The Fragile Porcelain Mice” Then everyone can do the “Go Mice!” rallying cry they’ve been yearning for. ---
**Author:** ![peasea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc79bd/32.png) [@peasea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peasea)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/24 "2002-07-30T14:03:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*I believe Dave Letterman once had a top ten list of rejected NFL expansion team names. > > My favorite was “The Fragile Porcelain Mice” > > Then everyone can do the “Go Mice!” rallying cry they’ve been yearning for. \*\* He got that from a band that had a popular song at the time, right? Going with that, how about the Limp Bizkits? Smashmouth? Football-related, but not a very good team name. Ok, let’s look at the Billboard charts…Ooh! How about Various Artists? ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/25 "2002-07-30T15:20:03Z")
The Letterman list was also the source of the above mentioned **Fightin’ Amish**. I have the book with the whole list at home, I’ll post the rest tonight if i remember to. ---
**Author:** ![smegmum\_V](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@smegmum\_V](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smegmum_V)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/26 "2002-07-30T17:07:31Z")
I’ve Alway been fond of the “PEPTO BISMARCKS” One just gets the image of an sequal to operation petticoat ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2002, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/27 "2002-07-30T18:56:12Z")
Buffalo Wings L.A. Riots ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2002, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/28 "2002-08-01T05:53:33Z")
I found the letterman list [here](http://www.mudslide.net/TopTen/lnwd1990.html). Here’s the list: Top Ten Rejected NFL Team Names 10. The Opticians 9. The Groinpullers 8. The Fagile Porcelain Mice 7. The Fightin’ Amish 6. The Blood Swollen Ticks 5. The Velveteen Rabbits 4. The referee killers 3. The Soft Angora Sweater-Wearing Debutantes 2. The Greasy Ferrets 1. The Highly Paid Dumb Guys ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2002, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/29 "2002-08-01T13:45:54Z")
Thanks for posting the list **5-HT** (and thereby bumping the thread so I can post guilt-free). Good suggestions one and all. Alas, I might not be able to use any of them. The commissioner of the league I’m joining (a bunch of old friends) tells me that the existing teams have the duty and privilege to pick the name for any new team. He tells me that the tradition is to pick a name that is not only clever and devious, but deliciously cruel (but fortunately, not maliciously cruel). I might have to also join some other online league just so I can use one of these great names. FWIW, **smegmum v’s** suggestion of the \*Pepto Bismarks \* inspired _The Bismark Sinks_ as another possibility. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2002, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/30 "2002-08-02T16:35:06Z")
Okay, we’ve got another situation here. Someone in my league isn’t going to be present for the draft, and has asked me to sign him up in our Yahoo league. Not wanting to chastise him again for not simply logging onto Yahoo and plugging a name in, I’m going to stick him with something either embarrassing, or pretty funny. His last name is Klaus. I’m thinking: The Klaus Encounters Send in the Klaus Klaus But No Cigar But after that, I’ve got nothing. I’m thinking maybe something from a song lyric, but I can’t think of anything. The only limit is that it can’t be longer than 20 characters. Gracias! ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/31 "2002-08-02T18:14:18Z")
Pubic Klaus? Klaus Trophobias? ---
**Author:** ![Lorenzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4da419/32.png) [@Lorenzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorenzo)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2002, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/32 "2002-08-02T22:53:55Z")
The Orlando Cepedas not mine, but I like it. ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2002, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924/33 "2002-08-06T21:11:03Z")
Klaus Trophobias!!! HaHaHaHaHa!!! **Munch** , **Max Torque** got this one perfect!!! (I think this is the first time I’ve ever used exclamation points in a post… apparently I’m making up for lost time!!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-fantasy-football-nfl-team-name-needed/120924.md?page=1)