# Help! First date gift advice needed
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [March 31, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083 "2005-03-31T17:19:49Z")
**Posts on this page:** 15
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/41 "2005-04-01T20:11:45Z")
> [@Otto](#):
>
> I’m just saddened by the idea that any woman would feel that a single flower on a first date would signal that her date thinks she’s “obligated” in any way. It’s just too bad that we’ve gotten to the point culturally that a token gift can’t be given without the giver being tagged as “creepy” or the recipient being tagged as “obligated.” Me, I’d love it if someone brought me a flower on a first date. Of course that would necessitate my actually _getting_ a date first…
I just didn’t want to be lumped in as one of the people thinking it’s creepy. I would really find it charming and old-fashioned and not creepy by itself. Please, \*bring \* me a flower the first date!
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### Author:  [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2005, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/42 "2005-04-01T20:14:09Z")
> [@Giraffe](#):
>
> 0.00000%. Creepy guys _always_ bring flowers. It’s just part of the package deal.
“So, if she weighs the same as a duck, it means…she’s made of wood.”
“And therefore?”
“…She’s a witch!”
Stranger
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/43 "2005-04-01T20:15:06Z")
> [@Giraffe](#):
>
> 0.00000%. Creepy guys _always_ bring flowers. It’s just part of the package deal.
This is coming from someone who once hit on a 13-year old.
::d&r::
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### Author:  [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/44 "2005-04-01T20:57:20Z")
> [@](#):
>
> What percentage of the guys who didn’t bring flowers were creeps?
50% Would you like me to do a significance interval? The sample size is small, I never dated too much.
I should note that I used to be a RenFest performer, and therefore a lot of my “first dates” started with the gift of flowers. And involved Festies, who have (IME and to my definition) a higher percentage of “creepy” or “desperate.” I’ve now been married ten years (to a former Festie who seldom gives me flowers, and didn’t on our first date), so the data is not only has an odd sample, but is somewhat dated.
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### Author:  [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/45 "2005-04-01T21:51:03Z")
One other cautionary note: some people are allergic to some kinds of flowers. Especially if you don’t know too much about her, it’s better not to do something that could have her sneezing all night.
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### Author:  [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)
#### Post date: [April 1, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/46 "2005-04-01T21:54:49Z")
> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> This is coming from someone who once hit on a 13-year old.
>
> ::d&r::
\*:: hangs head in shame :: \*
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### Author:  [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)
#### Post date: [April 2, 2005, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/47 "2005-04-02T03:54:09Z")
Oh man, you totally have to get her one of [these](http://www.morbidtendencies.com/crittercats/skullh.html)!
But seriously, not all girls like flowers/chocolates/gifts. I always feel uncomfortable when a guy gives me something, especially if it’s in public. Because then you just have to carry it around all day.
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### Author:  [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)
#### Post date: [April 2, 2005, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/48 "2005-04-02T07:01:14Z")
Well, I’m back. Things went quite well. We talked while eating dinner (for which, we each paid half), then went for ice cream (she did let me spring for this) and talked some more. Basically, the date was little more than four hours of talking, but with no awkward pauses, and I enjoyed every minute of it (and, apparently, so did she). I can’t remember feeling this comfortable around anyone. I guess I’ve been a closet Goth, because we sure have a lot in common!
There will be future dates, yessiree. I’m a happy finch tonight.
And I’ll have to look into getting some of those “unfortunate animals”, even if just for myself!
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### Author:  [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)
#### Post date: [April 2, 2005, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/49 "2005-04-02T14:51:01Z")
Woo hoo!
😃
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### Author:  [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)
#### Post date: [April 2, 2005, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/50 "2005-04-02T15:41:59Z")
I’m very glad the date went well. I was going to chime in on the “no gift” side of things until I saw that the voting was already very heavy in that direction. My dating experiences went much much better after I finally learned to skip the token first date gift.
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### Author:  [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)
#### Post date: [April 2, 2005, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/51 "2005-04-02T17:27:30Z")
> [@Darwin's Finch](#):
>
> Well, I’m back. Things went quite well.
Good on ya, **Finch**! I hope things keep going well.
So, what’s the consensus on a present on the _second_ or subsequent dates? (Yeah, like _I_ have to worry about that, but just for the sake of academics.)
Stranger
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### Author:  [@Canadiangirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadiangirl)
#### Post date: [April 2, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/52 "2005-04-02T18:35:50Z")
Well, guess i’m old, or old fashioned, I love flowers on any date…needn’t be roses or carnations…just something different that says he was thinking of our date before he picked me up (yes, he has to come to the door and yes, he has to drive).
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### Author:  [@andymurph64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andymurph64)
#### Post date: [April 4, 2005, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/53 "2005-04-04T19:00:44Z")
A single rose for the second date. Trust me on this 🙂 DO NOT give a bouquet! The ‘one’ is important.
Shane on the person telling me it wasn’t our business about the first kiss attempt. How the heck are we supposed to live vicariously if we mind our business?! Sheesh…some people!
So…when are you going to try?
😃
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### Author:  [@andymurph64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andymurph64)
#### Post date: [April 4, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/54 "2005-04-04T19:02:06Z")
er…shame, not shane.
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### Author:  [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2005, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-first-date-gift-advice-needed/297083/55 "2005-04-05T00:39:44Z")
I liked the single flower on first date, a daisy or such that wasn’t expensive.
And since I would rather be offered icecream than just about anything else on a first date, good move **DF**!
**Drachillix** would bring me gel pens and highlighters and then the Harry Potter books, this being 2001 and me being a very broke nursing student. I could accept these things as tokens of his thinking of me throughout his workday at the book warehouse he ran inventory for.
He kissed me on our first date, not a tentaive peck either. The waitress informed him that red lipstick was so not his color.
**Cyn** , married after an online romance, to a Doper.
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