# Help! For some reason I cannot find this thread...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-for-some-reason-i-cannot-find-this-thread/279521
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [December 13, 2004, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-for-some-reason-i-cannot-find-this-thread/279521 "2004-12-13T00:49:55Z")
**Posts on this page:** 3
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@simply\_cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simply_cats)
#### Post date: [December 13, 2004, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-for-some-reason-i-cannot-find-this-thread/279521/1 "2004-12-13T00:49:55Z")
Within the last two weeks, there was a thread either in this Forum, or in MPSIMS in which one user asked “What is love?” I do no think that is the title of the thread, but now I cannot find it. Someone had replied with an analogy comparing love to a cup of water, and I was hoping to read it again. Can anyone help a clueless doper out?
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### Author:  [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)
#### Post date: [December 13, 2004, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-for-some-reason-i-cannot-find-this-thread/279521/2 "2004-12-13T01:32:19Z")
> [@Citygirl852](#):
>
> I’ve been dating this guy for about a month and last week, he told me that he loved me. Now, I know that it’s a great thing to be loved, and maybe I should have been thrilled, but my first response was “why?”
>
> I mean, I know I have a sparkling personality, but seriously, what have I done to make you fall in LOVE in one month’s time??
>
> Now, maybe this is just my cynicism talking, but I don’t believe true love can reveal itself that quickly. Infatuation, yes…Lust, definitely. But not real love. This got me to thinking about the nature of love, and the different ways that people view it. When I asked him, his response was something like: Think of a glass full of water (or whatever). My love for you is on the surface, it hasn’t gone too deep yet, hasn’t made it all the way to the bottom, but it’s still love”. Now, if that made sense to anyone, raise your hand.
> [@CrazyCatLady](#):
>
> :raises hand: Your feller’s explanation makes perfect sense to me. I think the issue here isn’t that he’s got a cheap, superficial view of love, but that the two of you have different definitions of love, so you wind up talking past each other and can’t have a meaningful discussion on the subject.
>
> You’re defining love solely as the life-long commitment sort of feelings, while he and I define love as a whole range of feelings that vary in substance and intensity. I love my husband, yes, but I also love my parents and other family, my pets, my friends, and fudge ripple ice cream. Do I feel the exact same way about my friends as I do about my husband? No, the feelings are of very different intensities and completely different natures, but they’re both love. And, you know, it’s not like after a few years I suddenly went from “eh, he’s nice and all, but…” to the way I feel about him now, just all overnight. Love is like a plant–it’s got to start from a tiny little seed and grow. The fact that it’s just a little seedling doesn’t mean it’s not a plant.
>
> Alternatively, let’s go back to his glass of water explanation. You brush your finger across the surface of a glass of water, your finger gets wet, right? It’s just a little wet, not nearly so wet as if you’d stuck it all the way to the bottom. The finger is still wet, though, right? That’s what he’s saying–when you touch the surface of people (no comments from the peanut gallery, all right?) you love them a little bit, just like your finger is a little wet from brushing the surface of the water.
> **[What is Love??](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=289463)**
>
> I’ve been dating this guy for about a month and last week, he told me that he loved me. Now, I know that it’s a great thing to be loved, and maybe I should have been thrilled, but my first response was “why?” I mean, I know I have a sparkling...
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### Author:  [@simply\_cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simply_cats)
#### Post date: [December 13, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-for-some-reason-i-cannot-find-this-thread/279521/3 "2004-12-13T01:45:43Z")
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!