# HELP, HELP, HELP Please do Help Me !!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 13, 2001, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051 "2001-08-13T16:03:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kremit334](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@kremit334](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kremit334)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/1 "2001-08-13T16:03:59Z")
I dont know what to do. Okay let me explain. I work in computer lab here at work. Every morning when we open a guy comes in wearing very lose clothing (jogging shorts ect) and sits in the back of the lab in a corner with his chair turned towards the wall a bit. At first I didnt think anything of it till last friday. The same guy was still here when the lab closed (mind that the lab is open from 7:30 to 4). He is always the last one out and it takes him forever to leave. Well as I was waiting I noticed that one of his hand seems as though it was sitting in his crotch area. Okay I think to myself this could just be compfortable for him (I know I am naive). Then I noticed he can type with one hand faster than I can with 2. He chats everysday and leaves sweaty and kind of flushed. Well this day I kind of watched him. As I watched I noticed that the hand that layed down near the crotch area moved quite a bit. His upper arm looked as though it was doing some work let me tell you. So I begin to freak out. He finally gets up and leaves … side note he always turns the computer off for me when he leaves. Well this day (friday) I decided to go and check the cookies and the history of events that happened today. I started looking and found that he chats in a chat room called incest something. Now I really start freaking out … I start thinking to myself OMG this guy has been masterbating here! I am not the only one who swears to this. My roommate also works with me and thought the same thing but he thought that he was just jumping to conclusions. Well the guy is back today doing the same thing again and I dont know what to do. I mean what if I am wrong what if he just came across that site randomly by accident. I plan on checking the history and cookies again today … but what should I do now! Please help me ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/2 "2001-08-13T16:11:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kremit334 \* > \*\*what should I do now! Please help me \*\* Um … tell him to stop? ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/3 "2001-08-13T16:14:33Z")
Well, relax first of all. It’s not like he’s getting jizz on the keyboard, is he? Why don’t you set the security on the computer higher (if you can)? Would that work? Can you block that site off the 'puter? I’m not sure how all that stuff works but I’d think you’d be able to set some kind of security on it. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/4 "2001-08-13T16:17:52Z")
Your computer lab does have sexual harrassment and appropriate conduct rules, right? Well, this situation is exactly what those things were designed for. Tell him to stop. If he doesn’t, you can press charges. The college or university you go to can deal with him in their own judicial system, or the local police can come in and get him for public indecency. If you’re afraid that this person’s going to be aggressive, then have someone else with you when you confront the guy. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/5 "2001-08-13T16:18:22Z")
He’s probably just cleaning his spectacles (which are in his shorts pocket) with one hand. Give him a box of Kleenex. ---
**Author:** ![kremit334](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@kremit334](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kremit334)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/6 "2001-08-13T16:37:55Z")
OKay okay I couldnt take it anymore so I went and got my boss and told her about it. Seems here in this lab (I am just working there for the off semester hours) they have been having problems with this kind of thing. She looked over and then asked if all the people here had there School ID’s. Sure enough that man didnt have an ID because he wasnt a student. Not to mention he got this look on his face like OMG I have been caught. My boss kindly asks him to leave since he wasnt a student here and he darts out of here like a bat from hell. I went back to the computer to check what he has been up to. Sure enough he turned the computer off! I guess he thought that would get rid of what he was looking at (what a rookie). In the history sure enough there was a chat room called incesttaboo in it with todays date and now’s time stamp next to it. So I guess I just wasnt freaking out and jumping to conclusions. My boss said sure enough he was “pleasuring himself” ---
**Author:** ![moggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@moggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moggy)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/7 "2001-08-13T18:24:18Z")
ewww, ewww!, EEEWWWWW!!! I have a friend that works in a college computer lab and she told me that one time this couple came in and was HAVING SEX in the back of the room!! :eek: You did the right thing, and now you know what to do if you ever suspect anyone else in the future. ---
**Author:** ![orion007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@orion007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orion007)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/8 "2001-08-13T19:13:13Z")
Eww dude that reminds me of this time a few years ago when History classes were held in the auditorium and this girl gave this guy a BJ _during class._ (How romantic, huh? :rolleyes: ) They got caught and had outdoor suspension for a little over a week. This was in Middle School. ::shudder:: What are these people _thinking???_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/9 "2001-08-13T19:25:42Z")
> [@](#): > > what should I do now Well _If real life were more like Porn…_ no wait, that is another thread. Get some Lysol and spray everything down. ---
**Author:** ![ninja\_rydr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8491ac/32.png) [@ninja\_rydr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ninja_rydr)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/10 "2001-08-13T19:28:15Z")
Does your school have a police office? If it does call them if not call the local cops. Let him go try that in the county jail. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/11 "2001-08-14T00:15:09Z")
I don’t know, sometimes the things I read here are beyond believing. ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/12 "2001-08-14T00:24:46Z")
Oh wow… that’s really kind of ickky. Caught with his pants down 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/13 "2001-08-14T00:52:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by orion007 \* > \*\*Eww dude that reminds me of this time a few years ago when History classes were held in the auditorium and this girl gave this guy a BJ _during class._ (How romantic, huh? :rolleyes: ) They got caught and had outdoor suspension for a little over a week. This was in Middle School. ::shudder:: > > What are these people _thinking???_ :eek: \*\* There are girls giving blowjobs in MIDDLE SCHOOL!?!?!?!? MIDDLE SCHOOL!?!? As in, 7th and 8th grade? Holy crap! I didn’t even know kids that young knew what a blow job _was_. Okay so I knew what they were but I wasn’t giving them when I was 12. Jeeeeezus. ---
**Author:** ![Shera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Shera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shera)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/14 "2001-08-14T01:42:22Z")
I remember when I was in seventh grade kids talked about doing that kind of stuff all the time. Most of the time I thought they were just trying to feel cool and grown up, I guess some of them took it a step further. In fact, I even nknew a girl who told people that she lost her virginity in six grade. I was like “Hello, I knew you in sixth grade, you are such a lier.” Wow, I really sound like a valley girl, I swear I’m not. ---
**Author:** ![orion007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@orion007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orion007)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/15 "2001-08-14T02:05:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ladyfoxfyre \* > \*\*There are girls giving blowjobs in MIDDLE SCHOOL!?!?!?!? > > MIDDLE SCHOOL!?!? As in, 7th and 8th grade? Holy crap! I didn’t even know kids that young knew what a blow job _was_. Okay so I knew what they were but I wasn’t giving them when I was 12. Jeeeeezus. \*\* Oh yes. And I’m sure the 6th graders were doing it too. My middle school was full of little hoes :o ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/16 "2001-08-14T02:30:16Z")
While I confess it’s a little disconcerting to have some guy flogging the dolphin while downloading porn in a public spot, I don’t find it as shocking as all that. The guy is horny, gets off reading about incest, and doesn’t have his own internet connection. That makes him a loser, maybe, but not a criminal. Well, probably according to some laws he actually is a criminal. Scratch that. But it doesn’t surprise me that he’d try to use a campus computer site, and just do his amateur best to be private about it. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/17 "2001-08-14T03:23:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ladyfoxfyre \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by orion007 \* > > \*\*Eww dude that reminds me of this time a few years ago when History classes were held in the auditorium and this girl gave this guy a BJ _during class._ (How romantic, huh? :rolleyes: ) They got caught and had outdoor suspension for a little over a week. This was in Middle School. ::shudder:: > > > > What are these people _thinking???_ :eek: \*\* > > There are girls giving blowjobs in MIDDLE SCHOOL!?!?!?!? > MIDDLE SCHOOL!?!? As in, 7th and 8th grade? Holy crap! I didn’t even know kids that young knew what a blow job _was_. Okay so I knew what they were but I wasn’t giving them when I was 12. Jeeeeezus. \*\* AAAAAUGH! Gross! I didn’t even know what porn was in 7th grade, let alone how to give a BJ. There was an outbreak of some STD at the local middle school last year. The nurses had to send a note to every home for all parents to get their kids checked. Ugh. I would never dream of doing anything like those kids then, and I wouldn’t dream of doing it now. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/18 "2001-08-14T03:55:09Z")
You might want to have your boss check with the police department because incesttaboo sounds an awful lot like a pedophile site. It sounds especially suspicious when he’s going to an anonymous public area to connect. He may not have an internet connection, but then he may want to be accessing the site in a way that can’t be traced back to him. Your lab should probably find a way to ensure that all users are students and audit who is using the computers at what time. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/19 "2001-08-14T04:02:23Z")
I remember sitting next to some guy looking at scantily clad women and having cyber sex in a chatroom at the community college I went to. I gave him a dirty look…what a loser. I later am walking down the halls, going to class-and happen to look into a class room window-this guy is a PROFESSOR. ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051/20 "2001-08-14T04:12:50Z")
Ewwwwwwwwwwww. **kremit** , I’d either have done the same thing you did (told my boss) or called Campus Security. Sure, he’s probably relatively “harmless”, but you never know. You don’t need to watch him doing that. Maybe your lab should start checking for ID’s before you let people in. At my university, we’d have to sign in on a computer with our e-mail userID and password. That way, you had to be a currently registered student to get in. There was also a trail linking you to that computer (if they did find some “untoward” files on it.) I used to work at my university’s library in the periodicals room. One of my ex-co-workers claimed to have once caught a man in the act of masturbating to the Italian magazine _L’Espresso_ in one of the out-of-the-way and seldom-used-anymore coin-op typing rooms. _L’Espresso_ is basically the Italian equivalent to _Newsweek_ with one major difference–it often features topless women on its covers. We’d all noticed that many issues of that magazine had been left back there, and we’d made a few jokes, but I, at least, had never really imagined that it was the truth. However, it appears that some people are truly that desperate. Ewwwwwwww… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-help-help-please-do-help-me/76051.md?page=2)