# HELP - I need to pick a band name **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 20, 2000, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958 "2000-11-20T14:19:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![don\_willard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@don\_willard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_willard)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/21 "2000-11-20T16:14:16Z")
I’ve always thought Ahura Mazda and the Five Amesha Spentas would be a great name. However, it might offend Parsis, as it refers to their head god and his emanations. The Five Amesha Spentas are Vohu Mano or Truth, Ameretat and Horvetat one of whom is Immortality. There are different versions of the Amesha Spentas and there may be four or seven instead of five. Parsis live in India, having been driven there a long time ago by another religion, but they started out in Persia. They worship in the ancient Persian religion. You could also call yourselves The Ahrimans or the Ahrimen after the evil god of Persian or Parsi religion. His other name is Angra Mainyu, so you could be the Angry Mainyus. Just don’t ever go on tour where there are any Parsis. Other possible names: The Wrong Way Corridors, The Lucky Cindies, The Typhoid Marys, Buffie and the Jodies, Jody and the Buffies, The Meniscus, The Frenulums, and if you have a girl singer, Clytemnestra and the Dead Agamemnons and you could occasionally feature Cassandra. Then there are The Unalive, The Recent Dead, The Absolute Zeros, Butler and the Help, Mr. French and the Butlers, The Dead Dianas, The Uneducable, The Pretensions, The duncecaps, The Ectromas (which means abortions in Greek, or did to the ancient Gnostics), The Bivalves, The Balbo Drive, The Retroactive Abortions, The Fourth Trimesters, The Stamens, The Pistils (but only for a girl group), The Anthers, The Chick Magnetometers, The Sphygmomanometers (blood pressure sleeve thing in Drs. offices), The Weezies, The Always Already (from a phrase in deconstructionism), The Assistant Professors, The Assistant Librarians, The Stock Boys, The PlayThings, The Narcissides, Narcissus and His Echoes, which would be for a male lead singer and several girl players, The Ricky Ricardos (but you’d need a Latin beat), The Absoloms (Absolom revolted against his own father David), The Decorum (opposite of Punk), The Devoids, The Chitinous Exoskeletons (insects have a hard shell instead of a skeleton), The Traces, The Leftovers, The Of, The To, The From, etc., The Bicoastal Dormancies, The Dormant, The Unaroused, The Aroused, The Dormant, The Perpetuals, The Stimulated, The No Longers, The Communist Remains, The Moots, The Yesterdays, The Empty Promises, The Empty Future, The Absentees, The Obsoletes, The Simulated, The Simulacrum, The Ignorant, The Films,The Cinders, The Clinkers, The Ashes, The Rest, The Barbed Wires, The Wired Barbies, The Positrons, The Neutrinos, Magnitude, The Magellanic Clouds, Nubecula (alternative term for the Magellanic Cloud Galazies), Ubetchaba (meaningless word), The Meaningless Words, The Ebb, Outgoing. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/22 "2000-11-20T16:24:08Z")
I asked the same question (well, sorta) a few weeks ago in [this here thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=43992). Take your pick… but I got dibs on the Texas Chainsaw Catheter. T-minus 10 seconds till Manny moves this thing… 9… 8… 7… ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/23 "2000-11-20T16:54:02Z")
Since the Manhattan Transfer is taken, how about the Moderator Shuffle? Off to IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![kenny\_canoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@kenny\_canoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenny_canoe)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/24 "2000-11-20T16:59:21Z")
I have a suggestion for your band name TpiHsEsShNoOleW (uh…do you want me to explain this?) ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/25 "2000-11-20T17:12:04Z")
“Piss Hole in the Snow”? ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/26 "2000-11-20T17:12:58Z")
No. I get it. Maybe a song title. Hell, by the time you read it and say it most of my songs are finished. punk snot dead, broccoli ---
**Author:** ![kenny\_canoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@kenny\_canoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenny_canoe)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/27 "2000-11-20T17:24:02Z")
you are the man Jack!!! I dont think broc liked it though… I wonder just how many punkers would get it ? ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/28 "2000-11-20T17:30:56Z")
three, and two of them would try to break it. (an old response to how many punks does it take… etc) ---
**Author:** ![TripleAnt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19adc/32.png) [@TripleAnt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TripleAnt)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/29 "2000-11-20T17:31:16Z")
How about “The Flaming Nut Sacks” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/30 "2000-11-20T18:03:00Z")
“Flaming Nut Sacks” makes me think of “Squirrel Nut Zippers”. My favorite suggestion thus far (other than my own, of course) is “Anal Leakage”. That’s just so wonderfully graphic – classic punk. Just think of the album covers. :eek: “The Wired Barbies” is good too, at least until Mattel sues you. 😉 Actually, I liked “Hoosier Daddies”, but it’s more suited towards a band with a horn section, or maybe something more folk-y. jr8 ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/31 "2000-11-20T18:37:19Z")
or MopCrotch… it just kind of flows off the lips… MopCrotch… Oh yeah: 56 Chairs, in Latin, is cinque-sex cells (kinky sex sells) Right now it’s a toss up between the Destructos! and 56 Chairs. Who wants to add to the votes i’m getting? punksnotdead ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/32 "2000-11-20T18:51:54Z")
How about Hot Karl’s Lunchbox? Maybe you could dress like women and call yourselves The Angry Beavers. What about Mouthful of Yellow Husky Snow? ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/33 "2000-11-20T19:56:28Z")
Jesuslynch, that should read “stir well”. See, what you need is an adverb to modify the verb “stir”. “Good” is an adjective, used to modify nouns. That said, I used to play for a band called “Roadside Petz”. Cute, but sad. Any-hoo, I don’t think we copyrighted it, but we did encourage taping at our shows. Perhaps you can find a bootleg of “Motor Mouth”. God did we suck! ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/34 "2000-11-20T20:57:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spritle \* > **Jesuslynch, that should read “stir well”. See, what you need is an adverb to modify the verb “stir”. “Good” is an adjective, used to modify nouns.** I had to read that three times before I figure out you weren’t trying to modify a nun. Thanks, but I’ll keep my sig as is. You can go [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30527&pagenumber=2) if you want to know the reason why. ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2000, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/35 "2000-11-20T21:58:43Z")
Upside Out. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/36 "2000-11-21T04:14:21Z")
Punk you say? Bloody stool. ::runs away:: ---
**Author:** ![mack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/37 "2000-11-21T04:54:26Z")
Band names are like handles. They’re generally stupid but take on significance (or insignificance) according to the quality of output - so IMO it doesn’t really matter what the band name is. The important thing is to pick one that nobody hates and stick with it. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/38 "2000-11-21T05:54:40Z")
I’d stay away from long band names - When I was in a band with one (Yellow Sloth Chicken Broth - we broke up, you can use it if you want) clubs hated having to put it on the marquee. As for yet more possible band names: The Neutrinos Okie Stompin’ Butch & the Tractor Band (I know, contradicts my rule) Hush Yo Mouf The Bundys I’ll try to think of more. But here are some cool album titles you could use: Sheep Bleatin’ at the Town Meetin’ The Adventures of Fuckleberry Hinn Dag, Willis, Stubbed My Toe! I hope this has helped. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/39 "2000-11-21T09:54:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jesuslynch \* > > I had to read that three times before I figure out you weren’t trying to modify a nun. > \*\* Aren’t there laws against that sort of thing? 😉 jr8 ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958/40 "2000-11-21T10:21:53Z")
I always thought ‘2% Homo’ would make a good band name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-i-need-to-pick-a-band-name/41958.md?page=3)