Help! I'm going on a cruise!!

I wish I had taken more books. That was the only thing that I lacked during the entire cruise, although they did have a library on board.

I hope you have a great cruise, and look forward to hearing about your adventures when you return!

O

Take a good book!

Take me!

Wish I could!!

Ummmm Just how much snow do you have right now, Gordon?

It would have to be an awful lot to put up with the thought of being confined with my mom on a boat! (OK It’s a great big boat, but she’s still evil - Endora evil)

I went on a cruise once!

It was about three years ago. I went on Commodore Cruise Lines, a rather smallish company that owns but three small ships. Our ship was much smaller than yours, DeVena - IIRC, with a full passenger compliment and all hands on board it was around 850 people - but I had a wonderful, unforgettable experience that will last me a lifetime because I can never hope to repeat the unique circumstances.

I got together with three other guys who were all from around my home town of Wichita Falls. We drove through the night from Fort Worth to Louisiana, stopping to gamble in Bossier City and eventually making our way to New Orleans the morning the ship was due to depart.

We had smuggled some alcohol on board, yes… I believe that’s standard procedure. Bathing suits were the order of the day for clothing, although you really couldn’t spend all your time in the sun without some sort of serious protection. Despite my Mediterranean genes, I frequently found it necessary to cover up and always had sunscreen handy.

The ship first took us to Cozumel, Mexico. We did some snorkeling and spent some time on a rented catamaran despite dreary weather, then partied on shore at Carlos ‘n’ Charlies. I had plenty to drink that day, although I must confess I am something of a lightweight.

Grand Cayman was our second stop. We went to Stingray City, where they let you swim with and feed the hungry (but friendly) stingrays. I still have the T-shirt from there… We shopped on shore, and everybody back home got a rum cake (“Tortuga Twinkies”) when I returned.

The third destination was Jamaica. Unfortunately, the government’s raising of the gasoline taxes on the island sparked riots. With flaming barricades in the streets and looting in the city, the captain decided returning to the Caymans was a better course of action than losing some tourists amidst the civil strife - even if some of us were sure could have made it out of there with a looted TV set or somesuch…

So, the second trip to Grand Cayman involved a return to Stingray City and a visit to the Caibo Yacht Club where I swear I saw Sammy Hagar.

The final night, some of the girls on board who turned out to be strippers who were on vacation put on a nice show for everybody on the aft deck (I still have the video footage, too!), we had plenty to drink, and then spent an exciting party-filled weekend in New Orleans upon our return, as we had come back at the commencement of the New Orleans Jazz Festival.


Advice:

If you fancy taking a lot of pictures, either get yourself a digital camera and plenty of batteries, or lots of film. Disposable waterproof cameras are useful - no, necessary - for some of the shore excursions, and it’s better to pay $8.00 for one at Wal*Mart than $20.00 once you’re out at sea.

It’s a shame you and casinos don’t mix, DeVina, as we spent a lot of our otherwise unoccupied shipboard time in them. I came out about $160 ahead, despite embarrasing losses to the ship’s stingy slot machines (I won most of it playing Carribean Stud Poker).

Yes, you’ll need some money, but the most useful currency will be your credit card. It pays for your shore excursions and finances your goodies on board, and can really come in handy in places like Georgetown and Cozumel where the local currency looks like Monopoly money.

Did I mention sunscreen yet? Remember that there wll be opportunities here that you may not ever be able to repeat so long as you will live. It would be a shame to rationalize skipping a catamaran outing because you’re worried about coming back a little red.

The dinners were just a cut above business casual. I wore a tie and sport coat every night except for formal night, when I wore my suit.

Expect to tip heavily. Most of your staff wll need to be tipped, but rather than a pay-as-you-go system, you’ll find that many of them do not expect to be paid until the final day. Commodore was kind enough to furnish us with a guide to the “proper methods” to tipping the portions of the ship’s crew with which you came in contact. It might be handy to ask Google ahead of time what you’re in for.

I used to have all the pictures from the trip on my web page, but those have long since passed into history. However, Rick “The General” Roszko still has a part of his web page dedicated to the pictures that he took.