# Help me abandon NYC and move to southern California **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 14, 2017, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186 "2017-03-14T19:53:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/41 "2017-03-16T01:00:07Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Does it have to be SoCal? I grew up in New England, but have been living in NorCal most of my adult life, and I would not want to live anywhere else. Housing is through the roof (hah!), but this is just a wonderful place to live. Great climate, tons of job opportunities, city life, country life, and everything in-between. Ocean, mountains, almost-desert. The air is even a lot cleaner than it was when I moved here 30 years ago… Well said. Me too, I’m in NorCal and agree with all you’ve said. I moved here from the NE USA 35 years ago. Goldilocks would love the weather: not too hot, not too cold, just right. And if you miss the winter snow like I sometimes do, Tahoe and the Sierra Nevada mountains are only a few hours away. Kirkwood, e.g., is just 140 miles from my front door. ---
**Author:** ![Corry\_El](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Corry\_El](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corry_El)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/42 "2017-03-16T02:06:49Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > This doesn’t sound like my experiences in California at all. I lived there for a little over four years, having moved from rural Ohio. I think I Love Me, Vol. I’s experience is also a little more intense than mine. I’m probably somewhere in between yours and Vol 1’s. But like I said I lived in Japan as well as SoCal, one of my kids lived in Wisconsin and another lives in Minnesota, but our baseline is NY. In all four of those places people (often, of course no such generalization applies to everybody) follow a social convention of acting ‘nice’, in various styles. In CA it’s kind of faux familiarity and feigned lack of concern if things are going the person’s way, aka ‘laid back’. Which potentially puts people more at ease, it’s far from all bad. The Japanese and ‘WI/MN nice’ routines are different than ‘laid back’ in exact style, but sort of parallel IMO. But none of them IME mean people are actually nicer or care more about others, or care less if others step on their toes because ‘its all good, man’. Though I’m not claiming they strictly care less about others either. But to people from more direct places those styles can seem phony, and make it harder to gauge where you really stand with people practicing them. Some of it’s surely personal, and also maybe OH is a different baseline. This thread is a native NY’er asking. To whom I would never say ‘don’t live there’. As another post mentioned, even people with gripes about SoCal liked some things: you can’t say it’s a terrible place all around if you’ve ever lived there, IMO. But places with a ‘nice’ or ‘laid back’ social convention can be more of a culture shock if you’re ‘very NY’. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/43 "2017-03-16T03:16:30Z")
The thing I still find a bit unnerving about Californians is there need to “share” everything about themselves with you. You meet someone, and they want to tell you how much money they make, how much hey paid for their house, how many times they cheated on their wives, etc. TMI!! I usually just to try to change the subject, and I’m certainly not interested in sharing my vital statistics in the same way. Of course, on the East Coast everyone wants to know your religion and what your family is and all that stuff. No one seems to care about that here, which is nice. Oh, and every California believes he has the right to drive in the left lane on the freeway at whatever (slow) speed suites him. They sometimes drive me insane with their unwillingness to pull over when they are so obviously blocking traffic. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/44 "2017-03-16T03:22:02Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > The thing I still find a bit unnerving about Californians is there need to “share” everything about themselves with you. You meet someone, and they want to tell you how much money they make, how much hey paid for their house, how many times they cheated on their wives, etc. TMI!! I usually just to try to change the subject, and I’m certainly not interested in sharing my vital statistics in the same way. The only person I ran into out here that does that is from Iowa. > [@](#): > > Oh, and every California believes he has the right to drive in the left lane on the freeway at whatever (slow) speed suites him. They sometimes drive me insane with their unwillingness to pull over when they are so obviously blocking traffic. This part is very true, though. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/45 "2017-03-16T05:42:46Z")
I was raised in the Midwest and was miserable. About age 26, I decided I needed out - I found a profitable skill and moved to CA for my 30th birthday. In 1999, I befriended a young woman from VA working in my home city. I did my damnest to convince her to go for her dream of S CA. She did. Therein is the issue - I think age 30 is critical - up until then, you are a vagabond, free to move easily. After 30 (or so), one gets rooted. ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/46 "2017-03-16T11:52:17Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > The thing I still find a bit unnerving about Californians is there need to “share” everything about themselves with you. You meet someone, and they want to tell you how much money they make, how much hey paid for their house, how many times they cheated on their wives, etc. TMI!! I usually just to try to change the subject, and I’m certainly not interested in sharing my vital statistics in the same way. > > Of course, on the East Coast everyone wants to know your religion and what your family is and all that stuff. No one seems to care about that here, which is nice. You said you are in Northern California right? That’s something I associate with people up north. Down south it’s all about small talk but not actually sharing real information. Unless you are a transplant. > [@](#): > > Oh, and every California believes he has the right to drive in the left lane on the freeway at whatever (slow) speed suites him. They sometimes drive me insane with their unwillingness to pull over when they are so obviously blocking traffic. See what Johnny and I said about following “the rules” when driving. The left lane being a fast lane isn’t one of “the rules”. It’s the law, but that doesn’t mean much. You gotta learn “the rules” or your driving experience (I almost said your life, same thing right?) will be tough. Having spent most of your time in Northern California you probably haven’t been forced to learn “the rules” the way you would have been down south. But some of them apply state wide. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/47 "2017-03-16T12:33:34Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Oh, and every California believes he has the right to drive in the left lane on the freeway at whatever (slow) speed suites him. They sometimes drive me insane with their unwillingness to pull over when they are so obviously blocking traffic. Ohio has the same issue. And Ohio drivers are passive and terrible. (Maryland drivers are aggressive and terrible.) I’ll take California drivers. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/48 "2017-03-16T13:14:15Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Ohio has the same issue. Ohio unfortunately hasn’t modernized its keep-right law, though, so there isn’t even a theoretical possibility of the cops doing anything about it except in the extreme case of someone actually going under the posted limit in the left lane. ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/49 "2017-03-16T13:26:22Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > Santa Barbara or San Diego are where you want to be. Solid plan, if I say so myself. My wife and I just got fed up with Seattle a couple of winters ago and executed the “sell your shit and move” plan. So far it’s been glorious. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/50 "2017-03-16T14:00:41Z")
Fourth-generation Native Son of the Golden State here. Seriously, think twice. I’ve lived in NYC. I know California - California is an ungovernable mess, And it’s FAR too expensive for most folks. It is, I’ll admit, pretty wonderful in many places (and thus I have a vested interest in keeping tourists out), but I personally won’t live there again. If you MUST make the move, consider this: SoCal is _VERY_ different than NYC. People move at a different pace. Things which are conveniently close to each other are spread out in SoCal. That makes for strange differences - A population density of half or less of what you get in NYC might seem wonderful, but having gthe same number of people spread out over twice the area means that transportation is crucial - and public transport in California is NOT what you’re used to. So that means _Cars_. Lots of them. Traffic can be as bad or worse than in NYC, and you have further to travel. The seasons in California are different: Fire, Flood, Earthquake, Riot. Those are your seasons. Well, not really, but Fire and Flood are generally common. Or Mudslide. Aside from those periods, the weather is wonderful. Except when it’s too damn hot. From NYC, you may think you know hot. You don’t. Also: Expect sere and brown in the summer, and green in the winter. All that said, If you’re going to do it, I won’t be able to dissuade you. And there are some very good and compelling reasons you might wish to make the move. So move smart. Visit the state. Talk to locals. A LOT. Explore. San Diego is one of my favorite cities. I prefer San Francisco, but that’s a matter of taste. I serverely dislike Los Angeles, but many of the L.A. suburbs are very good. San Louis Obispo is fucking outstanding. IMO, anyway. If you want an etirely _different_ feel, consider Marin, Wine Country, or Sacramento area. Santa Barbara \> San Diego, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/51 "2017-03-16T14:02:24Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Oregon: Purgatory for L.A. drivers. _shudder_ For drivers from anywhere but here, really. The number of close calls every time I go out is frightening sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Wilson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@Wilson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wilson)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/52 "2017-03-16T14:59:48Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Life is good here. Yes there are traffic issues. But the climate is awesome. Beware of microclimates however. Life west of the 405 if you can afford it. Many many truths in this post - especially the part about living west of the 405. ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/53 "2017-03-16T15:03:49Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > San Diego is one of my favorite cities. I prefer San Francisco, but that’s a matter of taste. I serverely dislike Los Angeles, but many of the L.A. suburbs are very good. San Louis Obispo is fucking outstanding. IMO, anyway. If you want an etirely _different_ feel, consider Marin, Wine Country, or Sacramento area. > > Santa Barbara \> San Diego, IMO. Honestly, if I were independently wealthy and could live anywhere I would live somewhere on the California Coast between Ventura and Monterey. Imo it’s all just about perfect in that run. Moro Bay, SLO, Santa Barbara, even touristsy Carmel. Not big city living in any of them (Santa Barbara almost comes close) but I wouldn’t want big city living at this point anyway. ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/54 "2017-03-16T15:06:38Z")
> [@Wilson](#): > > Many many truths in this post - especially the part about living west of the 405. Did the terrible people all move east since I left? Maybe I was too young to appreciate life on the west side back then. I always liked Silver Lake/Echo Park / Eagle Rock etc better. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/55 "2017-03-16T15:23:10Z")
> [@NAF1138](#): > > Honestly, if I were independently wealthy and could live anywhere I would live somewhere on the California Coast between Ventura and Monterey. Imo it’s all just about perfect in that run. Moro Bay, SLO, Santa Barbara, even touristsy Carmel. Not big city living in any of them (Santa Barbara almost comes close) but I wouldn’t want big city living at this point anyway. Lovely area, yes. Some of the best coast line in the world there. But not now, with road closures from the Pfeiffer Canyon Bridge at Big Sur in the north, to Ragged Point at San Simeon in the south due to mud slides and storm damage, that area is virtually cut off and isolated for a few months until they can be repaired. Google Maps routes you all the way around, it’s now 200 miles for what is normally a 35 mile stretch of Highway 1: https://maps.google.com/maps?ll=36.0699332,-121.5330514&z=10&output=embed&dg=ntvb ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/56 "2017-03-16T15:34:05Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > For drivers from anywhere but here, really. The number of close calls every time I go out is frightening sometimes. Despite what someone said upthread, Southern California drivers don’t tend to ‘park’ in the left lane. In my (considerable) experience driving there until December of 2003, people _will_ move over if they can. (It’s not always possible.) In Oregon… Not so much. It’s like, ‘The speed limit is 55 mph\*, and there’s no such thing as a “fast lane”. It’s my _right_ to drive in the left lane, and I’m not moving over!’ \*Actually, I think they did raise the speed limit. But I remember it being very low many times I drove through. ---
**Author:** ![Wednesday\_Evening](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Wednesday\_Evening](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wednesday_Evening)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/57 "2017-03-16T15:46:54Z")
> [@Tranquilis](#): > > San Louis Obispo is fucking outstanding. San Luis Obispo resident here. Can confirm. Of course, lots of people want to live here, and housing supply is low so housing prices are high. The median home price in SLO is around $700k right now. Plus we’re a bit out in the boonies: nearest big city is Santa Barbara and that’s 1.5 hours away. But it is a fantastic place to live, if you can afford it. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/58 "2017-03-16T16:23:59Z")
> [@Wednesday\_Evening](#): > > San Luis Obispo resident here. Can confirm. Of course, lots of people want to live here, and housing supply is low so housing prices are high. The median home price in SLO is around $700k right now. Plus we’re a bit out in the boonies: nearest big city is Santa Barbara and that’s 1.5 hours away. But it is a fantastic place to live, if you can afford it. I do like Santa Barbara; lived there as a kid. My Aunt, a cousin, and her wife still live in SLO, and yeah - It’s a pricy area. For good reason, also IMO. Paso Robles also gets top marks (albeit very hot in the summer) ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/59 "2017-03-16T16:28:27Z")
Another transplant to Southern California chiming in - I would encourage many visits to get an understanding of what you actually want, and where to find it. “Southern California” encompasses hundreds of miles, from the Mexican border up to Santa Barbara (and beyond), from the ocean to the mountains and the desert, from the “plastic people” to the various minority communities to the white-bread small town vibe communities, from suburbs to urban walkable areas to horse country. I wouldn’t discourage you from making the move, but I would encourage you to not waste your time by landing in just any area and hating it. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/60 "2017-03-16T16:38:15Z")
> [@NAF1138](#): > > Honestly, if I were independently wealthy and could live anywhere I would live somewhere on the California Coast between Ventura and Monterey. Imo it’s all just about perfect in that run. Moro Bay, SLO, Santa Barbara, even touristsy Carmel. Not big city living in any of them (Santa Barbara almost comes close) but I wouldn’t want big city living at this point anyway. Agreed. If I could stomach the political climate - I can’t do that any longer. Far too many competing special interests, and the state is an ungovernable mess. But if I _could_, Central Coast is where I’d be. That fact that I have family in SLO is a bonus. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186.md?page=4)