# Help me abandon NYC and move to southern California **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 14, 2017, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186 "2017-03-14T19:53:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/61 "2017-03-16T16:44:58Z")
Addendum: Oakland in the East Bay area might really be your best call. Moderate weather, lower costs, and lower culture shock. Plus pretty decen public transit, and easy access to SanFran + Wine Country. ---
**Author:** ![amaguri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@amaguri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amaguri)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/62 "2017-03-16T17:21:37Z")
relocated from chicago to san diego over a decade ago. there are three major drawbacks to life in san diego: - it’s culturally barren (at least, in comparison to chicago.) there are a zillion craft breweries but not a single GREAT museum - the food is not great. good, cheap mexican food and that about sums it up. the pizza is a travesty. - very expensive cost of living i find the traffic to be obnoxious but manageable (i was able to shift my work schedule to start early and end early, which is a HUGE benefit that not everyone will be able to enjoy!) otherwise, life here is pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/63 "2017-03-16T17:54:34Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > And the worst part is not that many Californians are _rude_; I mean, you find that everywhere–yes, even NYC. The worst part is that if you’re from the East it takes a while to understand they’re being rude. It takes a long while to understand what people really mean because people here don’t speak directly or plainly. They avoid saying what they really mean, and, as I said, they’re passive-aggressive. > > It’s like you need a translator sometimes but even that wouldn’t help much because the real problem is just dealing with people who don’t communicate in (what may seem to you as) a “de-codable way”; that they are so self-consumed (not necessarily selfish, it’s just they won’t or don’t usually see outside of their own present situation) they can’t manage to have (ISTM) a normal conversation. I’d characterize SoCal as “laid-back”, “superficial”, and “flaky”. Basically, everyone has their “thing” (what they do, who they are, etc; you can have more than one, but no one says “things”). The local social contract is you do not “harsh” on someone’s thing. You may or may not like their thing, but that’s okay (so long as you don’t denigrate it), because it’s not your thing. Thus they won’t be negative to you directly. And they don’t really care about your thing, if it’s not their thing. To fit in in SoCal, you have to find your thing, and then find the others who have the same thing (and there always will be). > [@Tranquilis](#): > > I know California - California is an ungovernable mess, I wouldn’t call it ungovernable anymore, since the new primary system has given supermajorities to the Democrats, and Republicans can’t block anything. You’re right about calling it a mess. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/64 "2017-03-16T18:54:52Z")
> [@](#): > > I wouldn’t call it ungovernable anymore, since the new primary system has given supermajorities to the Democrats, and Republicans can’t block anything. You’re right about calling it a mess. and we can expect health insurance for everybody soon, right? ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2017, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/65 "2017-03-16T21:30:50Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > When I lived in the DC area, I desperately wanted to move to California, and lots of people said some variation of that. But it’s really not that easy. If you don’t have friends there you can stay with while you look for a job, you need to have a LOT of money saved up if you’re moving into a high-cost-of-living area. Nobody will rent you an apartment without a job and you’re going to be hemorrhaging money until you find one. That’s true, but to some extent it’s a matter of how much you want to do it. There are jobs you can get from a distance. You can make friends on the internet who will give you a spot to crash. There are (not super-nice) cheapish places you can rent for a few weeks where they don’t check your employment history even in HCOL areas. ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_s\_Son](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19adc/32.png) [@Jim\_s\_Son](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_s_Son)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2017, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/66 "2017-03-17T05:09:28Z")
The one thing I’ll pass about Southern California is a conversation I had with a childhood friend whose family moved out to LA when he was 20. I visited him about 8 years later when he was living in Riverside. Being a New Yorker I made a few of your Woody Allen type cracks about the difference between yogurt and Southern California was yogurt had an active culture, those kind of things. Afterwards he finally replied “If I want to go swimming in the ocean, all I have to do is drive west for an hour. If I want to go skiing in the mountains, all I have to do is drive east for an hour. I can do that all 12 months. You name the place in New York where I can do that and I will move back in a heartbeat.” He had me there. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2017, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/67 "2017-03-17T16:15:14Z")
> [@Jim\_s\_Son](#): > > Afterwards he finally replied “If I want to go swimming in the ocean, all I have to do is drive west for an hour. If I want to go skiing in the mountains, all I have to do is drive east for an hour. I can do that all 12 months. You name the place in New York where I can do that and I will move back in a heartbeat.” He had me there. I’m super interested in the Southern California ski resort that’s open year-round. On really heavy snow years (like this year!), Mammoth is open until July 4. But the resorts that are an hour from LA are not. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2017, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/68 "2017-03-17T16:45:10Z")
> [@Jim\_s\_Son](#): > > I visited him about 8 years later when he was living in Riverside. But who wants to live in The Nine-Oh-Nine? ---
**Author:** ![Wilson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@Wilson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wilson)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2017, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/69 "2017-03-17T20:25:51Z")
> [@Jim\_s\_Son](#): > > Afterwards he finally replied “If I want to go swimming in the ocean, all I have to do is drive west for an hour. If I want to go skiing in the mountains, all I have to do is drive east for an hour. I can do that all 12 months. You name the place in New York where I can do that and I will move back in a heartbeat.” He had me there. Driving west from Riverside for an hour puts in you in what, Corona? ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2017, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/70 "2017-03-17T20:54:32Z")
> [@Wilson](#): > > Driving west from Riverside for an hour puts in you in what, Corona? In rush hour, it puts you 5 Niles west of riverside. ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2017, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/71 "2017-03-17T21:51:33Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > But who wants to live in The Nine-Oh-Nine? > [@Wilson](#): > > Driving west from Riverside for an hour puts in you in what, Corona? > [@snfaulkner](#): > > In rush hour, it puts you 5 Niles west of riverside. This series of posts had me in stitches. ---
**Author:** ![BaldDudePeekskill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@BaldDudePeekskill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaldDudePeekskill)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2017, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/72 "2017-03-17T22:14:45Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I moved from Peekskill to SoCal in the 80s. Didn’t like it so much, moved back after a year. Things are different out west. This was the LA area, tons of transplanted people there, lots of nice locals, but also lots of ‘plastic’ people trying to reinvent themselves, trying to break into show biz, trying to create an image instead of a life. My kids were very young, preschool age, so there was no impact on them but my wife and I both grew up in the Northeast burbs and aside from people we already knew out there we didn’t find ourselves fitting in. > > But that was us, you might be entirely different. Work was scarce then, and I hear similar things now, lots of applicants for every job. There may be work for someone with experience in a bank, I can’t say. Housing costs are high, but so are they in the NYC metro area. You absolutely need to travel by car there, and longer commutes are common. > > Have you ever spent any time there? Do you know anybody there already? How coincidental…I live in Peekskill now! Also, apologies for the rampant autocorrect errors in my post. Something weird is happening and words are changing. I think I have the suggest button on… I’ve been and do know an old family friend he hve distant relatives in San Diego ---
**Author:** ![BaldDudePeekskill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@BaldDudePeekskill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaldDudePeekskill)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2017, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/73 "2017-03-17T22:17:00Z")
This posting is even more relevant to me after the eighteen inches of snow on Tuesday and 3 to 5 inches more expected Saturday ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/74 "2017-03-19T03:21:55Z")
Have you ever considered Hampton Roads, Virginia? (Made up of Virginia Beach, Norfolk, Chesapeake, Suffolk, and the armpit of Hampton Roads: Portsmouth). This season so far we have had literally only one day in which snow stuck to the ground. The following day, most of it was gone. Plenty of sunshine, plenty of rain. Probably a hell of a lot cheaper than NYC, too, I’d imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/75 "2017-03-19T04:58:07Z")
Why do you want 15 million neighbors? Move to Carrizozo, New Mexico or some other quiet place in the rural southwest. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2017, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186/76 "2017-03-19T08:21:49Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > Santa Barbara or San Diego are where you want to be. \*…so they loaded up the truck and they moved to Escondi– do, that is…\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-abandon-nyc-and-move-to-southern-california/782186.md?page=3)