# Help me accept it... (penis size) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 30, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323 "2004-08-30T23:52:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/121 "2004-09-02T13:31:32Z")
Perhaps the best thing after all is to ask your girlfriend what she really thinks; if you happen to ask her during foreplay, at the point when you are orally stimulating her, listen carefully for the sound of your own voice echoing, which could be a warning sign that size matters. ---
**Author:** ![jfortun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2acd7d/32.png) [@jfortun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jfortun)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/122 "2004-09-02T14:46:25Z")
TS- I think most guys have had some doubts about this at some time in their lives. Even though I am slightly above average in length and well above average in girth I used to find myself wishing I were bigger. Sometimes I still do. It’s all so stupid. Most women certainly don’t care because sex is about a lot more than penetration so I have had to ask myself- do I want it bigger for the wife (who has no complaints) or do I want it bigger just to measure up to the guys in the locker room? I concluded it was more the latter than former and felt really silly. I spent some time on a forum “support group” for men with very large penises. Most claimed 8 inches or above. When these guys weren’t slapping each other on the backs for inheriting the right genes they were complaining that finding sexually compatible partners was very difficult. They might have looked impressive in the locker room but their sexual lives were actually diminished by their endowment. So go figure- the grass is always greener and concerns about penis size are less about what others think of us and more about we think of ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/123 "2004-09-02T15:56:06Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > Of course it does. If that person has a 5-inch dick, chances are, the sex (the actual intercourse part) is gonna be ho-hum no matter how hard he pounds away. Booorrrr-iiinnnggg. May I congratulate you on your tact and diplomacy? ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/124 "2004-09-02T15:58:59Z")
> [@badmana](#): > > **nyctea scandiaca** ’s posts to the contrary, most women simply don’t care. At all. My GF doesn’t complain and gets off so much that there are people here who don’t believe me! Most women do care. I’ve never met a woman who said it didn’t matter. Maybe a few can get by on just oral, but not most. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/125 "2004-09-02T16:53:39Z")
I’ve been with a grand total of (voila! – yep, I know small [hehehehe] sample size and all) three men in my life. The first came in at right under 5 inches. The second at almost 6. The last was 8. Want to know who did the best job? Mr. 5 inches because he cared and, as others have pointed out, it can sometimes be more about girth than length. (As an aside: with him, it took **seven tries!!** for me to lose my virginity completely – quite the bragging rights, eh?). He loved me so much that he would go to any trouble to make sure that I was satisfied and he was absolutely hell-on-wheels when it came to oral sex. The last guy was way exciting at first because of that “Wow! Damn!!!” feeling. But he lacked in diameter and compensated by being the only one that knew vaginal stimulation alone might not do the trick. Sadly though, his idea of foreplay was non-existent and his work on my clitoris was like someone trying to tune in Tokyo unsuccessfully. AND, he would not listen. So, although size _does_ matter (and in this female’s mind, you’d be way more than ample), it truly is how much you care about your partner’s feelings than your own. Inconsiderate lovers are what makes women seek out electrical/battery operated services instead. That first fellow would be my choice over the last two, despite being the smallest, hands down. Plus, due to lack of size, he didn’t believe he was God’s gift to women or that there was nothing new to learn on the horizon. The “Yeah, baby, can you handle ALL 8?!!” was as annoying as all get out. Now, I’d as surely run from him as someone with a monster appendage (a la’ John Holmes). ::: shudder ::: Be content with what you have. Do lots of other really cool fun stuff. And remember, some of us women even worry that we’re not ‘tight’ enough either and work those Kegals all to hell. _cough_ me _cough_ However, the nature of the relationship usually dictates the beauty of the intimacy. Enjoy that, especially since your girlfriend claims happiness. Just MHO. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/126 "2004-09-02T17:03:36Z")
After posting my first remark, I wanted to say that I think five inches would be enough. If it were 2-3 inches or something, that might be a problem. Actually, I’ve never measured a guy, so I don’t know what length/girth I need. I do know that I’ve been with a few who were too large and that it was uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/127 "2004-09-02T20:03:43Z")
This has been said before in this thread, but indirectly. I’m going to be brutally vulgar about it. Just because you have a 10" or even a 6" dick doesn’t mean I’m going to come. See, most women don’t work that way. I forget what the stats are but a significant majority of women have difficulty orgasming during intercourse. I’ll make a True Confession: I have been one of them my whole life. What’s going to make me orgasm is not how big your tool is but how comfortable I am with you. Do I feel you love me? Do you care how I feel? Are you into it, or are you whining about how small you are? I am not the most beautiful woman in the world. I am not ugly by any means, but if everytime I had sex I started thinking “I do not match the commonly held view of beauty, therefore I am ugly” then he would notice and he wouldn’t enjoy himself as much. This is basically what you are doing: “Even though my girl likes it, and me, I don’t match up to the commonly held notion of a man’s penis so I must not be good enough”. Women look for security. True, there are women out there who can orgasm against a tree branch, but most are not like that. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/128 "2004-09-02T21:11:01Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > Booorrrr-iiinnnggg. One good troll deserves another… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/129 "2004-09-02T21:15:01Z")
> [@Elenia28](#): > > True, there are women out there who can orgasm against a tree branch And others who require a tree trunk! ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/130 "2004-09-02T22:32:33Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > Of course it does. If that person has a 5-inch dick, chances are, the sex (the actual intercourse part) is gonna be ho-hum no matter how hard he pounds away. Booorrrr-iiinnnggg. I think the boring part has less to do with his size, and more to do with the fact that all he’s doing is “pound[ing] away.” Schlorping in and pounding away = boooooooooooring. I’ve had smaller guys and bigger guys. The biggest guy I ever boned was HUGE…and completely horrible. He thought having a big penis automatically made him a fantastic lover. My theory is that every girl he’d been with faked the hell out of it so he would roll off and they could go to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/131 "2004-09-02T22:33:44Z")
Well, despite my reluctance to post in this thread, I’m now compelled because of **nyctea’s** insensitve comment… For many woman, more than about 5.5inches is **PAINFUL** with a capital **P**. I happen to be one of those women. I’ve dated men who were larger than that, and sex winds up being an exercise in futility trying to find a position that’s comfortable all the time. For me, a 5.5 man is swell. _BETTER_ than larger. So, despite your insistance at being upset about this, there really is nothing to be upset about. People come in different sizes and your particular size will be perfect for a pretty decent sized group of women. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/132 "2004-09-02T22:52:38Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Most women do care. I’ve never met a woman who said it didn’t matter. Maybe a few can get by on just oral, but not most. Hello, my name is pepperlandgirl. There, now you’ve met at least one. In fact, my experience has been the exact opposite of yours. I’ve heard of more women having trouble orgasming from coitus alone. In fact, coitus may not provide sufficient clitoral stimulation, regardless of length, girth, size, or whatever else is keeping the OP awake at night. Focus on doing right by her. _Nobody_ measures a person’s self-worth by the size of his penis. You have many, many qualities to offer your GF and the people in your life that has nothing to do with the length of your shaft. Don’t let this drive you to distraction. Don’t start obsessing over it. In the grand scheme of things, the only one who gives a fuck about it is you. And it seems to me that you don’t really give a fuck about the size either. Instead, you’ve made it the center of all your insecurities, focusing your energies and skewed self-perception on your penis because it’s the easiest target. Some people obsess over their bald heads, or the size of their guts, or their asses, or their breasts. No amount of assurances from strangers on a MB, from your GF, from friends and family, will make you feel about it until you make the commitment to truly work on the core of the problem, and not the superficial complaints that really have nothing to do with anything. ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/133 "2004-09-02T23:31:28Z")
I seem to recall there being a thread around these parts at one time that was actually an “small penis appreciation” thread. Do your own search. An quit yer bitchin’. ---
**Author:** ![Timestamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/919ad9/32.png) [@Timestamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Timestamp)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/134 "2004-09-03T00:03:35Z")
> [@badmana](#): > > If your obession is turning to suicidal thoughts, get help. Killing yourself over your penis is beyond pathetic. And how can you say surgery is too “dangerous” yet you want to throw yourself out the window? Like, what the hell? If you’re going to seriously kill yourself, at least try surgery first. Seesh. I am not suicidal, I was just drunk when I posted that, and it was a childish reaction which I admit. > [@AwSnappity](#): > > I really don’t think you’re being very considerate to **Timestamp** by posting this here. The rest of us Dopers know that you’re probably more cavernous (thanks, **Standup Karmic** ) than the average woman, but I have a feeling that in his particular state of mind, **TS** might read your post and think that it is indicative of the way all women feel, thus negating all of the previous support that he has received. > > Of course this is a public message board, and you’re free to share your opinion. I just wish that you hadn’t shared your opinion in such a manner that blatantly disregards **TS** ’s feelings. Next time, you should try to be a little less harsh (“ho-hum” and “boooorrrr-iiiinnnggg” come to mind as examples of not being considerate of **TS** ’s history on this matter), and maybe use more qualifiers (“This is strictly one woman’s opinion,” etc.). Thanks for, erm, sticking up for me (the others too) but it’s allright. I’m well aware of the fact that women come in different sizes… If she would’ve been the first one posting in this topic, I would have probably felt bad about it… but I’m doing a lot better now. Even though I may have pissed some people off by whining or something, this topic did help me a lot and I am grateful. I’m still not 100% happy, but I know it’s not problematic… The information just kinda short-circuited my brain and I needed a few days and a lot of reassuring to get over it or something. I enjoy having sex with my girlfriend, I’m sure she really enjoys it as well, she’s always in the mood and I don’t have any problems getting her to come, so really I shouldn’t complain. I was just freaked out (a lot). And I just found a cool new job, and it’s even part time so that’s nice. Thanks for the advice and the patience. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/135 "2004-09-03T00:12:25Z")
Y’know, I’m still not 100% convinced that the OP doesn’t fall under a trollish heading. And this whole thread may have been just chock full of whineyness and blubbering. But I kinda like this kid, **Timestamp**. Stick around, you might find you like it here. ---
**Author:** ![Timestamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/919ad9/32.png) [@Timestamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Timestamp)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/136 "2004-09-03T00:22:10Z")
I’m not a troll… I run a forum myself… And one thing I know is, trolls don’t say “thank you”. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/137 "2004-09-03T00:47:25Z")
Fair comment. Consider me convinced. ---
**Author:** ![Timestamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/919ad9/32.png) [@Timestamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Timestamp)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2004, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323/138 "2004-09-03T00:55:42Z")
Or it could be a new troll-trick, just to trick others 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accept-it-penis-size/262323.md?page=6)