# Help me accessorize this dress, please **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 15, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102 "2007-01-15T18:53:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/1 "2007-01-15T18:53:46Z")
I just bought this dress: [http://www.coldwatercreek.com/aspx/product.aspx?np=true&channel=2&productId=29824&deptId=38&ensembleId=33697&cmPageViewId=C18111100](http://www.coldwatercreek.com/aspx/product.aspx?np=true&channel=2&productId=29824&deptId=38&ensembleId=33697&cmPageViewId=C18111100) to wear to a Valentine’s dinner dance. I need advice on what to wear with it. Specifically: 1. What do you recommend for shoes and bag? 2. What about jewelry? My choices are: - antique diamond brooch set in yellow gold and diamond earrings (okay, it’s really CZ in the earrings, but the brooch is the real deal) - OR, pearl necklace and pearl earrings. 1. The neckline is pretty low. Should I wear a push-up bra, or would that be vulgar? Thanks for your advice. I’ve lost almost a hundred pounds in recent months thanks to a gastric bypass op and I’m having to learn how to dress all over again. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/2 "2007-01-15T18:58:48Z")
Cute! Pearls are a timeless and classy choice, so I’d start with them. The fabric looks like the kind that would really show any piercings, so I’d steer clear of the brooch (although you could test that on a hidden area, maybe under the belt). As for the bra, try several options and go with whatever makes you feel best about your body. Since it’s a Valentine’s dinner dance, the goal is romantic and seductive, no? If you like your “assets,” show 'em off! ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/3 "2007-01-15T19:06:39Z")
If you have a pair of black shoes and a black bag, that might be the simplest choice. I think that the dress is dark enough that they might look good. The black bag is to tie it all together. As for the push-up bra, try one on with the dress. Can you move comfortably without anything falling out? Will you feel comfortable with yourself dressed like that? If you’re going to be self concious all night, don’t wear the push-up. If you’ll be comfortable in it, go for it. I wouldn’t use the brooch, as that’s a gorgeous new dress and I’m afraid it would make holes. I think a necklace would be very pretty. Can we get more fun details about your event? ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/4 "2007-01-15T19:22:01Z")
I’d say go for the push-up bra if you’re comfortable wearing it. The neckline of the dress is long enough that it should look fairly sexy. A push-up bra and pearls are iffy though. Personally, when I saw the dress, I immediately thought of a silver necklace with drop earrings in silver. Black shoes and purse would be okay, but depending on where you’re going, it might be cool to have silverish shoes (not glitter) and/or purse. That may be too over the top though. Depending on where the dress hits your legs, stockings with the line up the back would be very cool. (If the hem is down past the bottom of your knee cap, then see about having it hemmed to no more than the top of your knee cap.) The cut of the skirt part of the dress looks like it will have a lot of movement, so play up your legs if you have good legs. If not, wear that push-up bra. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![threnodyangelfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/5 "2007-01-16T02:29:20Z")
I too vote for the push up bra. If you’re uncomfortable that the neckline might move, fasten it to yourself with Hollywood Tape. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/6 "2007-01-16T02:36:43Z")
Pearls. Black patent or leather shoes and bag. Or a beaded bag would be nice if you have one. Push up bra. Get the girls up there - it’s V day for heaven’s sake! ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/7 "2007-01-16T02:37:34Z")
Push-up bra would be fine…I’ve been wearing one since my bypass, and there is no danger of overspillage, just the niceness of cleavage (you civilians need to know that for many people, the boobs are the first place you lose the weight, so every little bit of restoration helps). And of the two jewelry choices, go with the pearls, for the same reason…that fabric will show the holes. But something silver that dangles down into the cleavage would be nice, too. ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/8 "2007-01-16T04:18:06Z")
[QUOTE=kittenblue] … (you civilians need to know that for many people, the boobs are the first place you lose the weight, so every little bit of restoration helps) Actually, **kittenblue** , remarkably, I’m same the cup size as before the surgery, a double-D. Lost about four bra band sizes but the cup is the same as before. In dress sizes, I’ve gone from a 26 to a 10 or 12, Still losing, too - yahoo! I’m hoping I may make it to an 8 by the time my surgery anniversary rolls around in May. Did you have GBS? I’d love to hear about itabout it! ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/9 "2007-01-16T04:23:13Z")
[QUOTE=phall0106] …Depending on where the dress hits your legs, stockings with the line up the back would be very cool. (If the hem is down past the bottom of your knee cap, then see about having it hemmed to no more than the top of your knee cap.) The cut of the skirt part of the dress looks like it will have a lot of movement, so play up your legs if you have good legs. If not, wear that push-up bra. 😉 [/QUOTE] **Phall0106** , the dress comes to my kneecaps, and I’ve got good legs. Do you think that showing some leg and wearing the push up bra is overplaying it? Or can I do both? I really want to wow my husband. I’m puzzled by your seamed stockings recommendation. Are those still available? I thought they went out of style with the Andrews Sisters but if you can tell me where to buy a pair online, I might just try them. ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/10 "2007-01-16T04:30:19Z")
[QUOTE=monica] …Can we get more fun details about your event? [/QUOTE] It’s a dinner dance fundraiser for a hospital. My husband and I and some friends bought a table. He and the other men in our party are wearing black tie. Like me, the other women at out table are wearing festive cocktail dresses. The other women, I expect, will mainly be in little black numbers - safe but boring. I wanted to splash out in color. ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/11 "2007-01-16T04:34:38Z")
Dear **Beadalin, Monica, phallo106, Threnodyangelfire, Alice in Wonderland and kittenblue,** Thank you all **very** much for taking the time to look at the dress and to advise me. I am going to study your answers and will take them to heart. ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/12 "2007-01-16T11:19:12Z")
[QUOTE=Sonia Montdore] **Phall0106** , the dress comes to my kneecaps, and I’ve got good legs. Do you think that showing some leg and wearing the push up bra is overplaying it? Or can I do both? I really want to wow my husband. I’m puzzled by your seamed stockings recommendation. Are those still available? I thought they went out of style with the Andrews Sisters but if you can tell me where to buy a pair online, I might just try them. [/QUOTE] [http://www.fredericks.com/product.asp?catalog\_name=Holiday2002&category\_name=Accessories-Everyday&product\_id=36744](http://www.fredericks.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=Holiday2002&category%5Fname=Accessories%2DEveryday&product%5Fid=36744) Seamed (Cuban heel) stockings. Not sure how sheer they are (I’m hoping they’re very sheer), but there you go. Dress is fabulous, btw. VCNJ~ ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/13 "2007-01-16T12:24:59Z")
[QUOTE=phall0106] Depending on where the dress hits your legs, stockings with the line up the back would be very cool. (If the hem is down past the bottom of your knee cap, then see about having it hemmed to no more than the top of your knee cap.) The cut of the skirt part of the dress looks like it will have a lot of movement, so play up your legs if you have good legs. If not, wear that push-up bra. 😉 [/QUOTE] If you’re still a DD, skip the push-up bra and go with something that flatters your shape instead of showing off volume. I agree with the seamed stockings, and the recommendation for silver jewelry (but I don’t know your skin tone or hair color, so go gold if it’s right for you). For shoes, try something in black, with a rounded toe, like [these](http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/22690994/c/3.html) or [these](http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/22251042/c/106.html) or [these](http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/19021809/c/79684.html). The dress is a little frilly, so the shoes can’t be too sleek; it has simple and sweeping lines, so the long pointy-toed shoe is out. The dress will show off your legs, as will the stockings, so I’ve only looked for taller heels here. Maybe you’ve got the right shoes in your closet already! ([Here](http://www.zappos.com/n/es/color/2/d/722000493/heel_height/4/show_all/1/page/1.html) is the search I used to find those three if you’re looking for more like that). ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/14 "2007-01-16T21:12:10Z")
**Veuve,** I love the stockings! I’m going to order them. Thanks for the link! **Jurph,** those shoes are gorgeous! I crave them all, especially pair #1. However, they’re a little high for me. Mr. Montdore is only an inch taller than me. I don’t want to tower over him when we dance, so I’m going to look for something in a kitten heel. Dressy, but not too high. Any suggestions? I like your taste. Thanks for your wise fashion advice, everyone! Here’s what I’m going with: - the pearl necklace and earrings. What a couple people above said about the pin on the brooch making holes in the tafeta is very wise, so no brooch. - black stockings with the seam up the back, the gartered type if available - so saucy! - black evening bag, and I remembered I have a black silk shawl (that neckline looks drafty.) - black kitten heel shoes, still to be found (suggestions welcome!) The jury is still out on the push-up bra. I’m going to take the dress with me to the mall and I’ll try it on with some bras. I’ll buy whatever works. What I might do is go with the push-up bra but add a couple inches of black lace under the the v-neck to veil the girls a little. Add some mystery, you know. Thanks, folks! ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/15 "2007-01-17T04:40:31Z")
[QUOTE=Sonia Montdore] [QUOTE=kittenblue] … (you civilians need to know that for many people, the boobs are the first place you lose the weight, so every little bit of restoration helps) Actually, **kittenblue** , remarkably, I’m same the cup size as before the surgery, a double-D. Lost about four bra band sizes but the cup is the same as before. In dress sizes, I’ve gone from a 26 to a 10 or 12, Still losing, too - yahoo! I’m hoping I may make it to an 8 by the time my surgery anniversary rolls around in May. Did you have GBS? I’d love to hear about itabout it! [/QUOTE] If you’re still a DD after losing four band sizes, your breasts _did_ shrink. They just shrank proportionally to your band size. Congrats, and it’s a pretty dress. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/16 "2007-01-17T14:02:34Z")
[QUOTE=Sonia Montdore] **Veuve,** I love the stockings! I’m going to order them. Thanks for the link! **Jurph,** those shoes are gorgeous! I crave them all, especially pair #1. However, they’re a little high for me. Mr. Montdore is only an inch taller than me. I don’t want to tower over him when we dance, so I’m going to look for something in a kitten heel. Dressy, but not too high. Any suggestions? I like your taste. Thanks for your wise fashion advice, everyone! Here’s what I’m going with: - the pearl necklace and earrings. What a couple people above said about the pin on the brooch making holes in the tafeta is very wise, so no brooch. - black stockings with the seam up the back, the gartered type if available - so saucy! - black evening bag, and I remembered I have a black silk shawl (that neckline looks drafty.) - black kitten heel shoes, still to be found (suggestions welcome!) [/QUOTE] Still too late to change your mind? I would really recommend something silver with that dress. I’d take a silver simple neckless with a diamond pendant. The dress has a collar, so you want to keep it simple, but with that color, you need something other than pearls. Rather than look for kitty heels, get your husband lift shoes. You will look much better in heels. Just my two cents. ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/17 "2007-01-17T14:28:05Z")
[QUOTE=TokyoPlayer] Still too late to change your mind? I would really recommend something silver with that dress. I’d take a silver simple neckless with a diamond pendant. The dress has a collar, so you want to keep it simple, but with that color, you need something other than pearls. Rather than look for kitty heels, get your husband lift shoes. You will look much better in heels. Just my two cents. [/QUOTE] Thank you for taking the time to look at the dress and to share your advice, **Tokyo Player,** I appreciate it! 🙂 I agree with you that silver jewelry would be lovely with the plum tafeta, but my skin is a warm ivory tone and my hair is light golden brown with blonde highlights. Silver jewelry looks great on ladies with grey hair or dark hair, but it makes me look kinda washed out. Gold jewelery suits me better, and pearls - as someone pointed out above - look good on everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Lynne\_kilii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@Lynne\_kilii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynne_kilii)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/18 "2007-01-17T15:18:08Z")
Oh, I need that dress. But I need the gastric first (for coldwater at least)! Oh well - congrats on yours! I vote for pearls, the stockings, the first pair of heels, and no one will care (or notice) that you’re taller than your husband because you’ll look so fabulous. The bra, well, the jury is out. DD’s proably need more lift than push, but cleavage would be good. I’d forgo the lace unless absolutely necessary, as the dress is fabulous and I’m sure your girls are too, and Coldwater Creek isn’t going to dip the neckline low enough to be gauche. But above everything else, **pictures are a _must_.** ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/19 "2007-01-17T18:41:00Z")
If the guys are in black tie, I’m glad you aren’t being too conservative, since it’s a short dress. Glam it up! What are you thinking for your hairdo? ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102/20 "2007-01-17T20:56:15Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] If the guys are in black tie, I’m glad you aren’t being too conservative, since it’s a short dress. Glam it up! What are you thinking for your hairdo? [/QUOTE] Three of the six men at our table - my husband included - are wearing black tie. It’s mainly because they own it and don’t get a lot of chances to wear it. One man, who doesn’t own black tie and doesn’t want to hire it, is wearing his best dark business suit, and one, the local Police Chief, is wearing his police dress uniform with medals. The sixth and last man says he’s going to wear a kilt. That’ll be interesting, especially if it’s cold. I talked over what to wear with the wives, and they all voted for short cocktail dresses. I didn’t own one, so I bought the Coldwater Creek dress in plum-colored tafeta. I was lucky to find it on sale. And lucky to have you Doper Fashon Mavens to advise me! My hair looks a lot like this: [http://hairstyles.free-beauty-tips.glam.com/sh19.shtml](http://hairstyles.free-beauty-tips.glam.com/sh19.shtml) (except that I’m 20 years older than the model.) The cut and color are close to mine. I’m going to have my hairdresser trim it and renew the highlights two days before the dance and, on the day, I’ll style it myself. It’s short enough that it doesn’t need a lot of expert stylingand I can usually make it look pretty good. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-accessorize-this-dress-please/388102.md?page=2)