# Help me amuse myself **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 14, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450 "2001-07-14T04:27:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/1 "2001-07-14T04:27:32Z")
So, I was riding the subway home tonight and I had an idea. I want to take themes and plotlines from several different but well-known stories and combine them into one. Want to help me out? Name some movies I can crib from. Give me comedies, give me horror movies, give me a Disney classic and a costume drama, too. I’ll take the themes and plots and meld them into one new spectacular movie. An example would be _Die Hard_ and _Tootsie_ meets _The Sound of Music_ and _Jurassic Park_: A NYC cop, in drag, protects an orphanage from terrorists in a strange zoo where dinosaurs have broken loose. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/2 "2001-07-14T04:37:55Z")
Put these together: “Gone With the Wind” “Flashdance” “The Princess Bride” “Some Like it Hot” and “Fiddler on the Roof” ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/3 "2001-07-14T04:44:57Z")
Hmm, okay. A lovely young plantation owner, who dreams of being a ballet dancer, running away from her kvetching father, who wants to marry her off to a soldier, is kidnapped by an evil prince. Coming to her rescue are two men in drag and a French giant. Next! ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/4 "2001-07-14T04:57:09Z")
try this on for size; “apocalypse now” “full metal jacket” “saving private ryan” “the thin red line” “pokemon: the movie” ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/5 "2001-07-14T05:04:09Z")
Jeez, four war movies and Pokemon. Okay, let’s see… A cynical military reporter is a mission to go up the jungle river to kill the third son of a midwest farmwife. Her other two sons were already killed in country, and she will ascend to the Mewtoo level if her third is killed (kinda like how you get straight As in school if your roommate commits suicide). On his way up the river, however, the reporter goes insane and hides out with a family of “native” people, where another soldier, renegade drill sergeant is whipping the natives into shape by asking them to name their bamboo spears. (Was I close about Pokemon?) ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/6 "2001-07-14T06:11:08Z")
Bridge Over The River Kwai My Fair Lady The Full Monte Paint Your Wagon The Birds ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/7 "2001-07-14T06:19:16Z")
Braveheart Office Space Footloose Crocodile Dundee Star Wars ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/8 "2001-07-14T06:38:19Z")
OK. . . Rocky III (the Mr. T one) Star Trek III: The Search For Spock Godfather III (hell, I don’t remember the details, just throw two mafia dons in there and I’ll be satisfied) Alien3 (Ripley with the shaved head on the prison planet) Lethal Weapon 3 (again, I couldn’t tell one from the other, just have Mel Gibson show up to do a Curley from the THREE Stooges wiping his face routine) And just for the hell of it, have Ringo Starr do a brief cameo. Oh, and give it a title. This is amusing. Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/9 "2001-07-14T06:42:27Z")
Problem Child 2 Goodfellas The Last Dragon Booty Call It’s A Wonderful Life ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/10 "2001-07-14T06:58:49Z")
OMG, this is too funny. You really _must_ miss **Aniz**. Ok, how about… The Rocky Horror Picture Show The Shawshank Redemption Casablanca & Heaven Can Wait * * * Jeg elsker dig, Thomas ---
**Author:** ![deepbluesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba9def/32.png) [@deepbluesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deepbluesea)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/11 "2001-07-14T12:43:32Z")
**Montfort** , this is very much like a game my LO and I play to pass the time on long car trips and waiting for movies to start. It goes like this: person one gives three or four elements - actor, title, character, director, plot element, whatever - and person two has to come up with a complete movie package: plot, characters, cast, and, for bonus points, title and tag line. Catch: the other person has to agree that it sounds like a real movie - that the suggested cast and crew would actually be involved in - that could be released by a major studio _this year_. (Bonus points if the other person catches her breath in horror and gasps “But I would _see_ that!”) So, here’s my melange for you: Tom Hanks stars in a movie featuring aliens an adorable special-needs child under the age of eight and at least one musical number ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/12 "2001-07-14T15:03:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cyn \* > \*\*Bridge Over The River Kwai > My Fair Lady > The Full Monte > Paint Your Wagon > The Birds \*\* I don’t know Paint Your Wagon, but I’ll try the others: An English professor has plucked a prisoner out of the death camp he oversees as his “special project”. They fall in love as she teaches him how to striptease. She doesn’t know, however, that a rescue mission is in the works. As the rescue troop attacks the prison camp, a flock of psychotic seagulls attack, causing a mess of things, and a tragic end for the professor and his prisoner. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/13 "2001-07-14T15:06:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kat \* > \*\*Braveheart > Office Space > Footloose > Crocodile Dundee > Star Wars \*\* Oh boy. This is a good one. A reporter, sent to medieval Scotland to do an article about a rebellion, learns that the leader of the rebellion is a young farmboy who dreams of being a dancer (this is a recurring theme in this thread). As the evil English warlords home in on the secret rebel base, an office building in downtown Glasgow, the reporter tells the warlords about the funny hijinks going on in the office. She successfully diverts them from attacking as the farmboy dances his way to FREEDOM! ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/14 "2001-07-14T15:09:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sir Rhosis \* > **OK. . . > Rocky III (the Mr. T one) > Star Trek III: The Search For Spock > Godfather III (hell, I don’t remember the details, just throw two mafia dons in there and I’ll be satisfied) > Alien3 (Ripley with the shaved head on the prison planet) > Lethal Weapon 3 (again, I couldn’t tell one from the other, just have Mel Gibson show up to do a Curley from the THREE Stooges wiping his face routine) > And just for the hell of it, have Ringo Starr do a brief cameo. > Oh, and give it a title.** A mafia don, wanting to retire, is forced by his rival, who pities no fool, into exile. As he searches for his advisor, Tom Hagen (played by Ringo Starr), who years ago left la familia, he crash lands into a strange planet where movie stars lose respect by doing bad movies. He’s chased by the movie stars on the strange planet, as well as his mohawked rival. It all ends in a gigantic musical number, sung by our hero, Tom Hagen, and the rival, which gives the film the title: **Three is the loneliest number**. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/15 "2001-07-14T15:14:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by woodstockbirdybird \* > \*\*Problem Child 2 > Goodfellas > The Last Dragon > Booty Call > It’s A Wonderful Life \*\* Problem Child 2 was the one with the evil girl, right? Here goes: Two misunderstood but precocious children, separated at an early age, grow up leading parallel, but different lives. He becomes a mob runner, ultimately falling in love with her, a karate student who is seeking out a grand master. Hijinks ensue as they get distracted by other paramours, and ultimately our hero is talked down from the bridge on Christmas by her. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/16 "2001-07-14T15:20:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shayna \* > \*\*The Rocky Horror Picture Show > The Shawshank Redemption > Casablanca & > Heaven Can Wait Hey Cous! Long time no see! A Cabaret-era drag queen is killed in a horrible accident, but is told by St. Peter that it all was a mistake, and he gets sent back to earth, in the body of a suave WWII spy. As he tries to figure out what his life is, he falls in love, and is ultimately caught and sent to prison. There, in an exciting and inspirational third act, he meets up with one of his old drag buddies and breaks out of prison. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/17 "2001-07-14T21:51:48Z")
Gawd, you’re good but… Paint Your Wagon is a musical starring Clint Eastwood Still…you’re good ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/18 "2001-07-14T22:00:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cyn \* > \*\*Gawd, you’re good > > but… Paint Your Wagon is a musical starring Clint Eastwood > Still…you’re good \*\* [Clint Eastwood singing] Gonna paint my wagon/gonna paint it good[/Clint Eastwood singing] ---
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/19 "2001-07-14T22:08:02Z")
Here’s one for you. Toy Story 2, Eye’s Wide Shot, Lassie and Fight Club. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450/20 "2001-07-14T22:40:56Z")
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington The Truth about Cats and Dogs Good Will Hunting Metropolis Animal House And when you’re done with that one: Bridge over the River Kwai 13 Monkees Unbreakable Legends of the Fall October Sky [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-amuse-myself/72450.md?page=2)