# Help me be all cool and ass-kicky **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 24, 2003, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553 "2003-07-24T04:32:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/21 "2003-07-24T15:35:28Z")
I think you’re suppossed to do something with pebbles and snatch but I can’t quite remember. ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Fisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@Ms.Fisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Fisk)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/22 "2003-07-24T15:42:11Z")
For Neo, start with a Black trench coat. Then acquire yourself some physics-defying physical abilities…I think you can get them on ebay. ---
**Author:** ![Eilsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c68b51/32.png) [@Eilsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eilsel)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/23 "2003-07-24T16:15:04Z")
oooo yeah, a cape…a bright neon one 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/24 "2003-07-24T16:18:36Z")
What about sandals? Wear sandals everywhere you go, regardless of weather or temperature. That’s en vogue for the software developer 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/25 "2003-07-24T16:25:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Q.E.D. \* > \*\*Get with the times, willya? The modern computer engineer wears jeans and a t-shirt, sneakers and has a goatee. Black-framed, taped thick glasses are out, stylish metal frames are in. \*\* Sorry, sweetie, black frames are very chic. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/26 "2003-07-24T17:18:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ms. Fisk \* > \*\*For Neo, start with a Black trench coat. Then acquire yourself some physics-defying physical abilities…I think you can get them on ebay. \*\* If Trekkies and Star Wars fanatics are cool, then Matrixing yourself up would be a good way to be cool. If you can’t afford the leather trench coat, you could get some Vulcan ears to wear around. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/27 "2003-07-24T17:44:19Z")
You have a screen name at the SDMB. Isn’t that enough for you? _Isn’t it enough_? ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/28 "2003-07-24T17:55:38Z")
I notice a distinct lack of Dr. Who recognitition. Personally, I’d suggest a plaid shirt, a long grey overcoat and a large scarff. ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/29 "2003-07-24T18:06:04Z")
I notice a distinct lack of Dr. Who recognitition. Personally, I’d suggest a plaid shirt, a long grey overcoat and a large scarff. ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/30 "2003-07-24T18:50:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > \*\*You could always wear a smock or maybe a sombrero. Sombreros are hip and edgy. Yeah, I’d kick ass if I had a sombrero…_leans against tree looking menacing_… \*\* [Hobbes] Actually, I just like saying smock… SMOCKSMOCKSMOCKSMOCKSMOCK[/Hobbes] ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/31 "2003-07-24T18:56:03Z")
There. You get all sorts of Asskickiness Points[sup]tm[/sup] by that. You’re almost half a tiger already. You need to wear more orange. ---
**Author:** ![evilhomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/43a26b/32.png) [@evilhomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilhomer)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/32 "2003-07-24T18:58:55Z")
Some advice from Terry Pratchett in _Lords and Ladies_: > [@](#): > > The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/33 "2003-07-24T19:24:56Z")
So, we’ve got **Topaz** wearing a neon cape (or possibly a trenchcoat), glasses, sandals, baggy pants, a codpiece, a goatee and black shoes - whilst shooting pool and dueling with Swiss Monks. Sounds like the essence of coolness to me! Kn(too painfully uncool to be of any help at all)ckers P.S.: I love your username, **Topaz**. It’s sparkly. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/34 "2003-07-24T19:25:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > \*\*There. You get all sorts of Asskickiness Points[sup]tm[/sup] by that. You’re almost half a tiger already. You need to wear more orange. \*\* And get some Mickey Mouse\* pants. \*Mickey Mouse is a registered trademark of the Disney corporation and any use of the trademark without the expressed written permission, signed in triplicate by the brain-eating zombie corpse of Walt Disney, will result in your being fed to wild dogs. ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/35 "2003-07-24T19:37:45Z")
> [@](#): > > P.S.: I love your username, Topaz. It’s sparkly. Thanks! It’s my real name, too. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/36 "2003-07-24T19:56:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Topaz \* > \*\*Thanks! It’s my real name, too. \*\* It’s also my second favorite B-52’s song. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/37 "2003-07-24T20:13:07Z")
Get a motorcycle, but, don’t act like you have a motorcycle. Also, I noticed a lot of commercials with dorky kids telling people not to smoke…so definitely smoke. Don’t worry about kicking ass, just get a gun\*. All the cool kids have guns nowadays. Then, you can use terms like “I’ll pop a cap in yo ass,” or, “talk to the Glock.” \*Disclaimer - Don’t really get a gun ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/38 "2003-07-24T20:27:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by js\_africanus \* > **Women who can shoot pool are definately cool.** I’ll second this, and add that women who can do pretty much any guy activity are cool. This includes the aforementioned gambling and motorcycle ownership (although being able to ride the thing will be an even bigger plus), but also working on vehicles, playing sports, being willing to get dirty, and chewing tobacco. Okay, maybe not chewing tobacco, but you get my drift, I reckon. _spit_ _pting!_ ---
**Author:** ![troub](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troub/32/14802_2.png) [@troub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troub)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/39 "2003-07-24T20:48:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lost4life \* > \*_Don’t worry about kicking ass, just get a gun_. \*\* But make sure you hold it sideways. Same thing if you just get a cat instead of a gun. ---
**Author:** ![evilhomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/43a26b/32.png) [@evilhomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilhomer)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/40 "2003-07-24T21:33:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ace22 \* > \*\*I’ll second this, and add that women who can do pretty much any guy activity are cool. This includes the aforementioned gambling and motorcycle ownership (although being able to ride the thing will be an even bigger plus), but also working on vehicles, playing sports, being willing to get dirty, and chewing tobacco. > Okay, maybe not chewing tobacco, but you get my drift, I reckon. _spit_ _pting!_ \*\* Spelling your name in the snow would definately be cool - and a pretty good aerobic workout for a woman too, what with all the running required. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553.md?page=3)