# Help me be all cool and ass-kicky **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 24, 2003, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553 "2003-07-24T04:32:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/61 "2003-07-25T19:16:41Z")
Ok, a new picture here [http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-7/298460/UltraCool.jpg](http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-7/298460/UltraCool.jpg) > [@](#): > > You might want to shave it, too. If not, the ensuing hairball might get your cause of death listed as “terminal irony”. But then you could use the hairballs as ammunition… ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/62 "2003-07-25T19:16:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by js\_africanus \* > \*\*If not, the ensuing hairball might get your cause of death listed as “terminal irony”. \*\* Interestingly enough, that _is_ one of my goals in life. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/63 "2003-07-25T19:32:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ace22 \* > \*\*Interestingly enough, that _is_ one of my goals in life. \*\* Good god! I simply have got to learn to set goals better than I do! **Topaz** , the new photo ain’t loading. (Maybe my computer for all I know…) ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/64 "2003-07-25T19:36:50Z")
Close. But the sandals really add a contrast (therefore a coolness) to the ensemble. You’re well on your way topaz 😉 Pssst. When do we tell her she’s going to get rolled for listening to us? ---
**Author:** ![troub](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troub/32/14802_2.png) [@troub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troub)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/65 "2003-07-25T19:47:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Greenback \* > \*\*Pssst. When do we tell her she’s going to get rolled for listening to us? \*\* Ha. If she follows directions, and walks down the street holding a shaven, sideways cat, **nobody** can touch her. A [shaved cat is a creature truly full of fury](http://www.snopes.com/photos/lioncut.asp). Now imagine holding it sideways. Untouchable fury. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/66 "2003-07-25T19:49:24Z")
Works now, thanks! Cool pic! I hate to contradict **greenback** , but the boots kinda give it a Christopher Robin vibe, which is pretty cool. (Although the urban toughs may not think so. But that leads us back to being all ass-kickey. Signed up for jiu jitsu yet? You won’t regret it.) ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/67 "2003-07-25T19:58:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by js\_africanus \* > \*\*Good god! I simply have got to learn to set goals better than I do! > > **Topaz** , the new photo ain’t loading. (Maybe my computer for all I know…) \*\* You’ve got to wait a while, I think. Maybe 5-10 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/68 "2003-07-25T20:02:38Z")
Maybe the cat can hold the gun sideways? I mean, if a girl came walking toward me wearing knee high black boots, mickey mouse pants and a sombero, holding a shaved cat who’s holding a sideways gun, I’d be impressed. Don’t forget about smoking, and maybe change the sombrero to a sailor’s cap. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/69 "2003-07-25T20:36:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lost4life \* > \*\*…and maybe change the sombrero to a sailor’s cap. \*\* Oooooooh. I like where you’re going! But might the sailor’s cap be a little too, oh let’s say, Village People-ish? p.s. I _love_ the cat in that second drawing…it just doesn’t have a clue. ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/70 "2003-07-25T20:45:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lost4life \* > \*\*Don’t forget about smoking, and maybe change the sombrero to a sailor’s cap. \*\* Come now. It has to be a fedora. Indiana Jones is the epitome of cool. ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/71 "2003-07-25T20:50:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by js\_africanus \* > **I hate to contradict greenback, but the boots kinda give it a Christopher Robin vibe, which is pretty cool. (Although the urban toughs may not think so. But that leads us back to being all ass-kickey.** Of all people **js\_africanus** , you should appreciate the level of toughness of wearing sandals in a michigan winter. I always…I mean my friend always gets awkward looks from wearing sandals all year round. And the cat should be holding a mouse which should be holding a piece of cheese _shaped_ like a gun. ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/72 "2003-07-25T20:51:42Z")
Ack. I already drew the sailors cap here [http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-7/298460/TooCool.jpg](http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-7/298460/TooCool.jpg). Fedora coming next! If I could figure out what the hell it is…😉 ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/73 "2003-07-25T20:56:10Z")
Oh… the link is not working because I put a fullstop at the end. [http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-7/298460/TooCool.jpg](http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-7/298460/TooCool.jpg) This is the one. And you have to wait a little while if it doesn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/74 "2003-07-25T21:05:37Z")
**Topaz** I think you’re damn cool already! Great drawings. I gotta go with the fedora, too though! ---
**Author:** ![T.Slothrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@T.Slothrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.Slothrop)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/75 "2003-07-25T22:13:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Here is the pic of me looking pretty damn coool, if I do say so myself. Your cat only has one eye ? That’s cool. ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/76 "2003-07-25T22:16:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by T. Slothrop \* > \*\*Your cat only has one eye ? That’s cool. \*\* Yep, he lost it in a night fight:D ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/77 "2003-07-25T22:42:35Z")
My abilities are a little faded by now, but isn’t that the character for “death” on that sailor hat?? You’ve stricken upon another way to be cool; become a pirate. It’s every guy’s secret desire. At least, it’s mine. Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/78 "2003-07-25T22:43:55Z")
Oh. HAHA. It’s an anchor. :rolleyes: Stupid me! :smack: If that bottom line was flat, and if I’m remembering right, that’s the Japanese character for “death.” But I may be remembering wrong, it’s been a while. ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/79 "2003-07-25T22:44:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ace22 \* > \*\*My abilities are a little faded by now, but isn’t that the character for “death” on that sailor hat?? > You’ve stricken upon another way to be cool; become a pirate. It’s every guy’s secret desire. At least, it’s mine. > Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. \*\* Yarrr… Tis an anchor. ---
**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553/80 "2003-07-26T02:31:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MadPoet \* > \*\*Approach, students. Close the circle at the feet of the master. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of Ti Kwan Leep. But, be warned: To learn its ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul. Let us meditate upon this wisdom now. \*\* OMG, Yes!!! I had forgotten this brilliant style of ass-kicki-ness, but definitely, **Boot to the Head**! **Topaz** , trust me, it’s all in how you carry yourself. A low voice, high heels, and mastery of the wink will win most days. You just need the sideways cat for the off days. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-be-all-cool-and-ass-kicky/190553.md?page=5)