# Help me buy Mrs P a 40th present **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245 "2009-03-04T04:35:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/1 "2009-03-04T04:35:20Z")
I’m admittedly hopeless at thinking of presents for people but I have only a few days left and I’m stuck. She’s seriously non-materialistic. She’s into 18th-19th century English lit, playing the cello and listening to classical music. But buying a book or some music doesn’t seem special enough. She has a nice cello. I bought her a nice new case for her cello last birthday. I could buy her a new bow but she’d have to choose it and it would end up being something she bought for herself, really. She says all she wants is a day of not cooking or looking after the children and that’s no problem but it hardly seems like enough for the big four zero. C’mon doper women, give me some ideas… ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/2 "2009-03-04T04:38:15Z")
Could you arrange for someone to take care of the kids for a weekend and take her away somewhere romantic? Or at least away from the kids? Maybe take her to a concert, since she’s into classical music. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/3 "2009-03-04T04:48:11Z")
I’d say she already gave you your answer. She’s “seriously nonmaterialistic” and she just wants a nice day off. Park the kids someplace and spend the day with her, just the two of you. I don’t think the activities even matter. Lunch, walk in the park, whatever. She’ll love it. I can totally identify. Anything Mr. S can buy for me, I can buy for myself, and we’ve been married long enough that we’ve used up the best gift ideas, I think. But a day all to ourselves is heaven. But if you must bestow some sort of object on her, there’s always the “40 of something she likes” option. At my mom’s 50th birthday party, somebody gave her 50 packs of Skittles, her favorite candy. She loved it! ETA another idea: We’ve started planting things for each other. Two years ago Mr. S planted a [Red Prince weigela](http://davesgarden.com/guides/pf/showimage/131377/) in the front yard where I can see it every day from my office window. Maybe something like that? ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/4 "2009-03-04T05:01:20Z")
Could you get her something like a season’s subscription to an orchestra? Then you could make a night of it every month or so - either hire someone to take care of the house and kids or do it yourself - and she can look forward to it for the rest of the year. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/5 "2009-03-04T05:50:21Z")
She’s still nursing the youngest a bit. A day entirely away from the kids ain’t an option. I should add that I am planning on giving her a day off entirely. I just wouldn’t mind something a bit lasting also. I quite like the “40 of something” idea. Hmmm. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/6 "2009-03-04T08:44:18Z")
40th Birthday? This gift worked for me, and I’m happy to share it. Pick up a cheap 40oz. bottle of beer. Make a quick card that reads: You’re forty, Your forty. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/7 "2009-03-04T09:13:18Z")
Hire a maid and/or nanny for 40 hours. If you know of a trustworthy teen, hire the teen for 40 hours. Your wife can schedule the hours whenever she needs or wants them. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/8 "2009-03-04T09:31:27Z")
> [@bobo t](#): > > 40th Birthday? This gift worked for me, and I’m happy to share it. > Pick up a cheap 40oz. bottle of beer. Make a quick card that reads: > You’re forty, Your forty. She’s nursing and is therefore not drinking. This is a sore point. Your idea, though much appreciated, would not go well 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/9 "2009-03-04T10:19:40Z")
[Elizabeth Bennett and some Zombies!](http://www.amazon.com/Pride-Prejudice-Zombies-Classic-Ultraviolent/dp/1594743347/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1236161923&sr=8-1) what more could a gal ask for? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/10 "2009-03-04T13:06:26Z")
Could you get in a maid service that cleans the house (there could be a downside in she thinks she isn’t doing well) ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/11 "2009-03-04T14:21:19Z")
I once gave Mr. Athena a really nice wooden box filled with small sealed envelopes. Each envelope had an activity that we would then do over the next week or so. Things like “Play frisbee in the park, then stop for ice cream on the way home” or “Light some candles, take a romantic bubble bath together, then see what happens!” Obviously you tailor the ideas to the person you’re giving it to. But it was a smashing success, non-materialistic, and the only real expense involved is how fancy you want to get with the box & cards themselves. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/12 "2009-03-04T15:43:29Z")
A puppy. It isn’t a birthday without a living gift! However, 40 puppies wouldn’t be a good idea. StG ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/13 "2009-03-04T16:40:52Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > A puppy. It isn’t a birthday without a living gift! However, 40 puppies wouldn’t be a good idea. > > StG No, it has to be 101 or it’s no go. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/14 "2009-03-04T22:48:33Z")
We have a cleaner who comes once a week, and we have a casual babysitter/nanny that Mrs P can use as much as she wants whenever she wants. I guess what I’m saying is we’re pretty comfortable, and so what I was really looking for was something impractical. Keep em coming. I’m still thinking on this “40 of something” idea. ---
**Author:** ![JaneSaintClair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JaneSaintClair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneSaintClair)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-buy-mrs-p-a-40th-present/488245/15 "2009-03-04T23:23:18Z")
So this is kind of sappy, but when I turned 30, my hubby gave me 30 small, round stones. On each stone he had written one word (using a paint marker) that represented something that he loved about me. Examples were “funny, smart, creative, sensual, great smile” and the like. He put them in a cool vase for me… To go with the stone theme, he also got me an amazing hot-stone massage. It’s one of the best gifts I ever received.