# Help me convince my wife to name our hypothetical son "Lester." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 26, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150 "2010-09-26T23:08:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/41 "2010-09-27T04:05:22Z")
Les Nessman: Steel, is it? Steel Hawthorne: Yeah, Steel Hawthorn. Les Nessman: That’s a nice name. Steel Hawthorne: Thanks. I like to think that a person’s name says a lot about the type of person he is. What was your name again? ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/42 "2010-09-27T04:26:57Z")
I support the suggestion of Aleister. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/43 "2010-09-27T04:49:28Z")
Lester=no. Go with Zeke or Sterling–they both mean “star” too. [http://www.20000-names.com/star\_names.htm](http://www.20000-names.com/star_names.htm) Or go with the Aleister suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/44 "2010-09-27T05:14:14Z")
When I was in high school, there was a student named Lester. That wasn’t so bad. But his last name was Wiggins. Really. I can only imagine the poor guy got beat up a lot. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/45 "2010-09-27T05:18:37Z")
> [@FE3O4ENAIL](#): > > Since the other kids will call him mo’lester, he will learn at an early age to defend his honor- eg: Boy named Sue. If he’s lucky they’ll just call him “Mo” . . . until someone asks him why that’s his name. Just wait till he finds out that Lester was \*\*\*your \*\*\*idea! ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/46 "2010-09-27T05:29:50Z")
I just don’t find it a very “attractive” name, personally. ---
**Author:** ![Jilaad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jilaad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jilaad)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/47 "2010-09-27T05:40:11Z")
I support naming your hypothetical male child Lester, and convincing your wife to do it is a two step process. **Step 1 - Overcome objections to the name Lester.** Lester doesn’t have to be “the molester”. [The Wikipedia entry for Lester](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lester) shows that there have been at least seven successful Lesters, including a governor and a prime minister! **Step 2 - Raise increasingly bizarre objections to non-Lester suggestions** The key is to start with normal objections (“I just don’t like that name”, “that was the name of a bully back in school”) and gradually ratchet up the crazy (“only hobos have that name”, “but that name has SEVEN letters”). This will train her not to suggest non-Lester names, leaving only Lester as a default. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/48 "2010-09-27T05:48:15Z")
> [@Jilaad](#): > > I support naming your hypothetical male child Lester, and convincing your wife to do it is a two step process. > > **Step 1 - Overcome objections to the name Lester.** Lester doesn’t have to be “the molester”. [The Wikipedia entry for Lester](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lester) shows that there have been at least seven successful Lesters, including a governor and a prime minister! > > **Step 2 - Raise increasingly bizarre objections to non-Lester suggestions** The key is to start with normal objections (“I just don’t like that name”, “that was the name of a bully back in school”) and gradually ratchet up the crazy (“only hobos have that name”, “but that name has SEVEN letters”). This will train her not to suggest non-Lester names, leaving only Lester as a default. I really like Step 2. Go into full blown rages, or full blown panic attacks, or both, at the suggestion of any other name. Remember the phrase, “I’ll strangle him myself of you name him THAT!” ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/49 "2010-09-27T06:27:45Z")
I hear Uncle Fester when I see that name. Bad, please don’t do it. How about Alaisdair/Alister/Alaister as an alternative? Similar sounding but without the ick. ---
**Author:** ![GSV\_Consolation\_of\_Dreams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f1d935/32.png) [@GSV\_Consolation\_of\_Dreams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GSV_Consolation_of_Dreams)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/50 "2010-09-27T06:31:20Z")
There’s something vaguely feminine in the sound of the word Lester. But maybe I’m just rationalizing why I hate that name with the weight of a thousand baby-name books and would never even consider it for any son of mine. I did a search by meaning on one of those baby-name websites and for an English-sounding name meaning “star”, Sterling is probably the best of a bad bunch, but I still wouldn’t use it: no obvious nickname potential. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/51 "2010-09-27T06:38:29Z")
You could always go for a non-Anglo name, like Pol Pot, or something Germanic, like Adolf. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/52 "2010-09-27T06:41:56Z")
Lester Mudd? Oh, that’s a name with “winner” written all over it. ---
**Author:** ![Bayesian\_Empirimancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@Bayesian\_Empirimancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayesian_Empirimancer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/53 "2010-09-27T07:07:41Z")
I realize that the name Optimus Prime has not been mentioned yet as a viable name for a boy. Following the trend of shortening it later in, like Lester to Les, to O.P. Which incidentally sounds close to Oppie. I’ll name my kid Megatron, if I ever get one, and they’ll fight. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/54 "2010-09-27T07:30:16Z")
There actually _is_ at least one person who’s named Optimus Prime…[he’s a firefighter in the National Guard.](http://www.weirdcoolphotos.com/2007/08/national-guardsman-changed-his-name-to.html) ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/55 "2010-09-27T08:00:02Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > A few of the many names that would be better for your son: > > Humbert > Mercutio > Linda What about Mildred? No one names their sons Mildred anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/56 "2010-09-27T08:37:20Z")
> [@FE3O4ENAIL](#): > > Since the other kids will call him mo’lester, he will learn at an early age to defend his honor- eg: Boy named Sue. Well, he’ll grow up quick and he’ll grow up mean; his fist will get hard and his wits will get keen. So there’s that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/57 "2010-09-27T08:42:17Z")
You can’t name a real boy Lester. He will be Lester the molester his whole life. You can name a hypothetical boy Lester because it won’t screw him up in real life. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/58 "2010-09-27T08:42:50Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Well, he’ll grow up quick and he’ll grow up mean; his fist will get hard and his wits will get keen. So there’s that. But then he’ll have to roam from town to town to hide his shame, keeping him from holding a steady job. How then will he pay for **Larry** ’s nursing home fees? Unless of course, he decides to kill the man that give him that awful name. That might solve the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/59 "2010-09-27T13:23:38Z")
> [@GSV\_Consolation\_of\_Dreams](#): > > Sterling is probably the best of a bad bunch, but I still wouldn’t use it: no obvious nickname potential. Well, since the hypothetical boy will be joining a bilingual household, one obvious and attractive nickname presents itself: _Le Ster_ I like it. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150/60 "2010-09-27T15:19:24Z")
Jeepers, if you want to name him something star-like, at least go with Orion or Sirius or something. Reminds me of the college prof whose wife (not US-born) was puzzled as to why he didn’t like her preferred name for their firstborn son. Poor kid would’ve gone through life saying “no, it’s pronounced EYE-gor”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-convince-my-wife-to-name-our-hypothetical-son-lester/555150.md?page=4)