# Help me De-Franciphy America **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 11, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635 "2003-03-11T19:18:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Antonius\_Block](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Antonius\_Block](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antonius_Block)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/61 "2003-03-13T12:38:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by squeegee \* > \*\*I’m pulling a blank on what to rename “Les Miserables” to… \*\* It’s been known in Britain as **The Glums** for many years. Maybe there should be a Brit-based **“Francophobia FAQ”** so that left-side-of-the-ponders would not need to reinvent the wheel. [Disclaimer: Antonius Block, although British-born-and-raised and US-based, also lived in France and is not a knee-jerk francophobe.] ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/62 "2003-03-13T12:59:00Z")
I’ll second (or third) the Grand Tetons idea. On a related note, how long do you think it’ll be before Congress gets tired of everyone laughing at them, and changes the names back? :o And if I find “Freedom Fries” on the menu at any restaurant I go to, I _will_ call the manager over and tell him that he’s a fickle idiot 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ivar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ivar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivar)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/63 "2003-03-13T16:40:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Celyn \* > \*\* > Oh and I think crossants are actually an Arabic sort of invention, dating back to the “Crusades”. Now there is a nice twist. \*\* The croissant is a Viennese invention, actually. It was developed as a sort of gastronomic flipping of the bird toward the Ottoman empire, against whom the Austrians fought for quite a period, IIRC. You’ll have to google for a cite, I’m too lazy. Des Plaines, IL, will now be now as The Plains, IL Des Moines, IA will now be knows as The Little Ones, IA Couer d’Alene, ID will now be known as Heart of Alene, ID ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/64 "2003-03-13T18:59:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ivar \* > \*\*Des Moines, IA will now be knows as The Little Ones, IA > \*\* Wouldn’t it be The Monks? ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/65 "2003-03-13T19:17:19Z")
The French Quarter is now The Gay Section (has been for as long as anyone can tell, but that’s neither here nor there). Bourbon Street (named for the family, not the liquor) is now Whisky Street. Café du Monde is now The Decatur Street Donut Shop Beignets are now Triangular Greaseballs ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/66 "2003-03-13T19:59:53Z")
eau de toilet = shit cleansing water ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/67 "2003-03-13T22:02:34Z")
The town of Versailles in Kentucky will be renamed Versales, since that’s how everyone pronounces it anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/68 "2003-03-13T22:28:02Z")
I’m changing my name to Fresca. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/69 "2003-03-14T00:14:56Z")
Ambulance = Hemingway Hearse Coup d’etat = Regime Change Debris = Collateral Damage Dossier = Freedom File Diplomat = Military Governor Margarine = I Can’t Believe It’s Frog Butter ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/70 "2003-03-14T03:00:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Antonius Block \* > Maybe there should be a Brit-based **“Francophobia FAQ”** so that left-side-of-the-ponders would not need to reinvent the wheel. Francophobia will now be known as _freedomophobia_. ---
**Author:** ![piperx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a698b9/32.png) [@piperx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/piperx)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/71 "2003-03-15T09:02:46Z")
Can I play? “Quiche Lorraine” will now appear on the menu as “Linda’s bacon and egg surprise”. “Creme brulee” will be known as “burnt vanilla pudding”. “Pas de deux” will be “Dirty dancing”. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2003, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/72 "2003-03-15T09:25:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Katisha \* > \*\*Wouldn’t it be The Monks? \*\* It would indeed. Take it from a former Des Moines resident who got bored one day (go figure) and checked it out. ---
**Author:** ![JKilez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e5b9ba/32.png) [@JKilez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKilez)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/73 "2003-03-17T08:50:58Z")
Baguette = Dough Bat French Poodle = Bitch O’ Freedom Deja Vue = Yogi Berra Syndrome ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635/74 "2003-03-17T09:21:44Z")
Old episodes of SNL will havbe to redub the Coneheads’ line, “We come from France,” to “We come from Spain.” Spain: The Joey Bishop of Dubya’s Rat Pack war coalition. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-de-franciphy-america/160635.md?page=3)