# Help me decide what to do with my dead laptop **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 6, 2007, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556 "2007-08-06T00:20:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/1 "2007-08-06T00:20:50Z")
I bought a refurbished Toshiba Lifebook in 2002 for $400. It served me well for the past five and a half years, but it was definitely slowing down; I put a free program called Fresh Diagnose on it to find out how fast the processor was running, and it said about 20 MHz. Anyway, a few days ago I went to do something or other on it, and it wouldn’t start up. Nothing helped; it was just dead. So I’m looking for ideas. What should I do with it? I’m not looking for something socially beneficial, helpful, or otherwise possessing any redeeming qualities; I want to do something _cool_. A few conditions: No one (except maybe me) can be endangered; the plan must be either free or extremely cheap; and ideally, the computer will be destroyed. I considered throwing it off of something tall or shooting it, but those are too obvious. The best idea I’ve got, after thinking about it for a few minutes, would be to go into a public place and sit down and pretend to use the laptop, then freak out as if something’s gone wrong and smash it on the ground, to the amazement of passersby. Actually, that’s my second-best idea. My best idea is “Ask the SDMB.” What else you got? ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/2 "2007-08-06T00:27:00Z")
how 'bout microwaving it? (which would probably work best if you’re willing to retire your microwave at the same time) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/3 "2007-08-06T00:30:21Z")
The “going nuts in public and destroying it” option is always a good one. I did that to a printer in my classroom one year. I had administrators looking in my windows for months afterwards! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/4 "2007-08-06T00:30:27Z")
How’s about a proper Viking funeral? Put it on a boat, fill boat with alcohol soaked tinder, light it off, and send out into a pond or lake? (well, aside from the pollution problems…) ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/5 "2007-08-06T00:37:24Z")
Glue it to a table in a high crime area. Drag it behind a car in rush hour traffic. Play a round of frisbee golf with it. Make a scooter out of it. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/6 "2007-08-06T00:42:56Z")
Making something out of it is a neat idea. As I mentioned in another recent thread, one of my hobbies is building pinhole cameras; I wonder if I could somehow turn the case into a camera chamber? That’s worth looking into. Wouldn’t destroy the computer as thoroughly as I’d planned, but I like the notion of making it into something. Keep 'em coming! ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/7 "2007-08-06T02:05:27Z")
[QUOTE=fisha] Glue it to a table in a high crime area. [/QUOTE] I like this idea, do it and videotape it from a discreet distance. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/8 "2007-08-06T02:27:45Z")
[QUOTE=fisha] Glue it to a table in a high crime area. [/QUOTE] Another vote for this. And share the video with us when done. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/9 "2007-08-06T04:03:05Z")
Chiming in to vote for gluing it to a table. This has the potential to be comedy gold. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/10 "2007-08-06T23:15:08Z")
glue to table. you would be able to get money for a new one on americas funniest videos. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2007, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/11 "2007-08-06T23:45:15Z")
Yep, I’m voting for the “glue it to a table …” thing. I like it because you get a laugh out of it and any passers-by who got taken in by it would only have themselves to blame for trying to steal it anyway. 😃 Of course, I _suppose_ abandoning it in, say, an airport would be a bit amusing too. Nah, don’t do that one. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2007, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decide-what-to-do-with-my-dead-laptop/414556/12 "2007-08-07T01:15:10Z")
Glue it to a table! Well, that, or to the top of a car and hit the freeway, blythely ignoring the wild honking and waving of well-intentioned passers by.