# Help me decipher whether this girl is interested in me **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 22, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545 "2012-04-22T00:11:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/41 "2012-04-25T00:54:19Z")
Good for you kid, I knew you could do it.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/42 "2012-04-25T02:15:48Z")
Yay! It was obvious to me from the original post that she was interested, so I’m glad it worked out. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/43 "2012-04-25T02:25:59Z")
Awesome outcome! You just have to ask or you’ll never know. Waiting and wondering and worrying will only make it a bigger deal to you and make it seem scarier than it needs to be. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/44 "2012-04-25T05:25:56Z")
Yay! Hope you both enjoy each other’s company. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/45 "2012-04-25T20:11:29Z")
Alright, I’m almost reticent to post this because I might be seriously overthinking it, but what the Hell. So I called her up this morning but had to leave a message to the tune of “I realize that you might be in class or still asleep or something, but I was wondering if you’d like to go out this evening.” She sent me a text a few minutes later saying that tonight is a no-go due to an assignment we have due tomorrow that she has to finish, which she followed up by asking if lunch next week sometime would work out. I responded back by saying “no problem” and asking if she had any plans this weekend; her response was that this weekend won’t work due to her being busy but that we can set up something tomorrow when we see each other in class. The first point (about the assignment due tomorrow) I totally understand, but it’s the second point about her being busy this weekend that makes me _kinda-sorta-maybe_ think that she might be blowing me off now. I don’t know; like I said I’ve routinely done a shitty job at playing the game here lol. Based on what I wrote, does it seem like she is genuinely busy, or might she be blowing me off? ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/46 "2012-04-25T20:26:46Z")
She said no to your suggested time, but offered an alternate time to get together. That’s not a blow off. I always say in these dating threads, if the person wants to go out with you, they’ll do their best to make it easy. That doesn’t mean you won’t have to work at it, or that things won’t get in the way, but you won’t find her making pathetic excuse after pathetic excuse why she can’t make it. Offering an alternate timeframe, and offering to set up the specific time tomorrow in class, those are good signs. Most important thing is to just relax, find a time that works for you both, and have a nice date. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/47 "2012-04-25T20:27:27Z")
Blowing off is “no, I can’t do this weekend.” “This weekend won’t work, but let’s set something up in person” is _not_ blowing off. **Knead** Been blown off lots ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2012, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/48 "2012-04-25T22:32:26Z")
> [@2ManyTacos](#): > > Alright, I’m almost reticent to post this because I might be seriously overthinking it, but what the Hell. > > So I called her up this morning but had to leave a message to the tune of “I realize that you might be in class or still asleep or something, but I was wondering if you’d like to go out this evening.” > > She sent me a text a few minutes later saying that tonight is a no-go due to an assignment we have due tomorrow that she has to finish, which she followed up by asking if lunch next week sometime would work out. I responded back by saying “no problem” and asking if she had any plans this weekend; her response was that this weekend won’t work due to her being busy but that we can set up something tomorrow when we see each other in class. > > The first point (about the assignment due tomorrow) I totally understand, but it’s the second point about her being busy this weekend that makes me _kinda-sorta-maybe_ think that she might be blowing me off now. > > I don’t know; like I said I’ve routinely done a shitty job at playing the game here lol. Based on what I wrote, does it seem like she is genuinely busy, or might she be blowing me off? You know, you’ve started an awful lot of threads about women and sexuality and in those and this thread I wonder something so I’m going to ask. Have you had much experience with interacting with women? Had a girlfriend before? I ask because it seems that instead of getting to know her as an individual you’re still trying to pick our brains about someone we know absolutely nothing about. How can we know if she’s blowing you off? If you use common sense (which doesn’t take a lot of experience) it’s pretty easy to say that it’s entirely possible that she has her weekend already planned. You’re jumping to that conclusion simply because she suggested lunch next week instead of going out with you this weekend? Without knowing you it leaves me with wondering if (1) this and your previous threads are some kind of social experiment for you or (2) you are inexperienced to a great degree about women so you choose to see us all as one homogenous entity that can be figured out or (3) a combination of both. I honestly don’t mean that to be snarky, but you have to admit that the amount of threads you’ve started in just one year about women/relationships/sexuality is pretty high and single minded. If you’re honest in your questioning then I suggest you get to know this girl AS A PERSON and not a representative of women everywhere. Don’t try to figure out if every word out of her mouth means something else and just get to know her. Instead of relying on what strangers on the internet can tell you based on THEIR experience, get some experience of your own directly. Talk to her. Believe her until she gives you a REAL reason otherwise. Stop looking for reasons, implications, and deception where there seem to be none. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/49 "2012-04-26T01:07:31Z")
Haha, no man, I’m not inexperienced, but I do admit to being a bit subpar when it comes to _this aspect_ of the game, as I stated in the OP. I’m not running some sort of experiment here, and as I’ve said in earlier threads, the whole reason that I’ve started so many topics related to this stuff boils down to nothing more than the fact that I just really enjoy talking about it. Nothing more, nothing less really. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/50 "2012-04-26T04:13:31Z")
She’s not blowing you off; you asked her out for tonight (which is VERY short notice) and she suggested another time next week; she is in school (as are you), so being busy on the weekend when only given two days notice is not unusual. Go out for lunch with her next week and have a good time. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/51 "2012-04-26T05:00:38Z")
Maybe, she is concerned that she might seem like a boring and desperate person with nothing better to do, or one who is easily available to go out at a moments notice. Her reasoning may be, that If you get this impression of her, from the first; that you may not respect her as much, or value her as a person. It is a strategy that some young people, with a bit of low self esteem, or inexperience, may use. Do not assume she is blowing you off. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/52 "2012-04-26T10:46:13Z")
Having been a female student myself, I’d wager to say that \*most \*girls in that age range wouldn’t be available for a same-day date with a brand-new person. Prepping for a date can be a big deal, depending on how much she likes you and whether she’s high- or low-maintenance. She may need to get her nails done, hair done, and have a full lower-body wax before she’s comfortable going out on a new first date. Even I, who was fairly low-maintenance in those days, still liked to do my hair/makeup and shave everything for a new first date in my college days. If I already had a club meeting or plans to study or go out with friends that night, there’s no way I’d have time for a date. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/53 "2012-04-26T12:10:28Z")
The only real way to tell is to take a can of anchovies, open it up, and dump it down the front of her blouse. That is the way a man in my country courts a woman. If she is uninterested, she will remove the anchovies and discard them (meaning “You’re a nice guy, and I’d love to be friends, but let’s not complicate this? You’ll always be…important…to me in many special ways”) or feed them to her cat (meaning “You filthy son of a whoremonger! How _dare_ you approach me? I spit on the shadow of your face!”) If, however, she’s interested, she will leave them on her and not shower until the next full moon, whereupon she will dance the fiery dance called **pescado** and when done, she will fling herself into your waiting arms and you shall make passionate fishy love beneath the blazing moon. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/54 "2012-04-26T13:52:42Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > The only real way to tell is to take a can of anchovies, open it up, and dump it down the front of her blouse. That is the way a man in my country courts a woman. > > If she is uninterested, she will remove the anchovies and discard them (meaning “You’re a nice guy, and I’d love to be friends, but let’s not complicate this? You’ll always be…important…to me in many special ways”) or feed them to her cat (meaning “You filthy son of a whoremonger! How _dare_ you approach me? I spit on the shadow of your face!”) > > If, however, she’s interested, she will leave them on her and not shower until the next full moon, whereupon she will dance the fiery dance called **pescado** and when done, she will fling herself into your waiting arms and you shall make passionate fishy love beneath the blazing moon. But whatever you do, DO NOT try to shake her hand. You could end up in jail. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/55 "2012-04-26T18:53:52Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > T > whereupon she will dance the fiery dance called **pescado** and when done, she will fling herself into your waiting arms and you shall make passionate fishy love beneath the blazing moon. Yes, as I recall… it was after I danced an especially fiery version of the “pescado”, that my true love and I decided- that we were meant to be. Of course, in my case, it was freshly caught salmon- flung straight at me, directly from the net. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/56 "2012-04-26T19:12:07Z")
Relax Brother she said yes, in most cases getting into a hurry won’t do you any good. Go out with her next week, get to know her, a little patience goes a long way. Deep breaths and try not to think about her, while you are having a tug. Ha ha ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/57 "2012-04-26T19:35:22Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I don’t think she’s given you enough info yet to ask her out. I’d wait until she hired a pilot to fly a plane overhead as class is ending with a banner that reads: Will you fucking ask me out already!!! See, that would just put me off entirely. I have no use for a woman that doesn’t know a ! from a ?. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/58 "2012-04-27T12:37:36Z")
Well, now I’m pretty damned sure that I’ve been undeniably blown off. I get to class yesterday and she essentially ignores me the entire time it’s in session, which, yeah, I can accept because it _is_ class after all. That class let out early, so as we’re sitting in the next class I asked her what her schedule looked like for next week, to which she responded by beginning “well, here’s the thing…” and proceeding to describe some really dramatic situation involving her friend and some medical issues, that apparently had _just_ happened the day before, that will tie up her time indefinitely but that she will “keep me posted.” Eh, I was probably visibly upset at that point but everything was still cordial, and she continued to talk to me in order to (presumably) ease the tension. I’d love to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that her excuse is legitimate, but it just seemed so conveniently placed and bizarre that I have a lot of trouble thinking it was anything more than her subtly indicating “piss off.” I did send her a text last night telling her to keep me updated, but that’s honestly as far as I’m going to go here; I can only believe that, at this point, if she is genuinely keen on going out then she’ll take the next step. I mean, seriously, I can only stick my neck out there so many times before it just starts to feel wierd. So to recap: We’ve gone from her being apparently eager to get something going to her having her time tied up indefinitely but that I’ll be “kept posted,” whatever that’s supposed to mean. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons why I make threads like this. I mean, maybe her actions will make more sense to the women of this board, but as a guy, all I can say is that the amount of deception at work here is absolutely staggering. But hey, give me an A for effort. At least I tried and put myself out there. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/59 "2012-04-27T12:48:04Z")
Awww, sorry to hear it’s turned out this way, it seemed like a sure thing from your first post. Women, like cats, is weird. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/60 "2012-04-27T13:52:09Z")
I’ll give you an A for effort, but do try to remember that even though the timing is suspicious, she truly might just have had a time-consuming emergency - things do happen, and they do tend to happen at the most inconvenient times. Waiting for her to make the next move is the right thing to do. Well, not exactly waiting for her - moving on, and if she calls, yay! If not, you’ve moved on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545.md?page=4)