# Help me decipher whether this girl is interested in me **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 22, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545 "2012-04-22T00:11:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kmshrader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b782af/32.png) [@kmshrader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kmshrader)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/61 "2012-04-27T13:59:55Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > Awww, sorry to hear it’s turned out this way, it seemed like a sure thing from your first post. > > Women, like cats, is weird. I’d like to argue that folks in general is weird, and, coming at the end of a similar weird situation, I say put her out of your head as well as you can. Not 'cos I’m the best at giving advice, but that’s what people are telling me, and if I’d listened at the beginning I wouldn’t be as attached as I am. If she does get back to you it’ll be a pleasant surprise. If not, you’re better off. One of my best female friends flirts with every man around her, and will semi-regularly agree to go on dates with men she’s not interested in. She thinks she’s being nice, and she likes to spend time with them platonically. I don’t understand it at all, but some people are just like that. ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/62 "2012-04-27T14:23:05Z")
Awwww damnit, I was rooting for you all along! Too bad. Nothing new, though. People are strange. Anyways, the best thing to do _now_ is to delete her number, as a preventive strike against any future drunken/desperate texting on your part. If, after all that, she actually wants to date you after all, she will make a move. Next step after deleting her number: _On to the next one, soldier_! A young man with Quintilian-level talkin’ skills, a bunch of badass tats and the backing of the SDMB love-doctors shan’t go long without a date. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/63 "2012-04-27T18:23:41Z")
> [@kmshrader](#): > > I’d like to argue that folks in general is weird, and, coming at the end of a similar weird situation, I say put her out of your head as well as you can. Not 'cos I’m the best at giving advice, but that’s what people are telling me, and if I’d listened at the beginning I wouldn’t be as attached as I am. > > If she does get back to you it’ll be a pleasant surprise. If not, you’re better off. > > One of my best female friends flirts with every man around her, and will semi-regularly agree to go on dates with men she’s not interested in. She thinks she’s being nice, and she likes to spend time with them platonically. I don’t understand it at all, but some people are just like that. Eh, that’s kinda where my frustration is coming from here. I mean, if she had just said “no” when I first asked her out, I would’ve just shrugged it off and moved on; the fact that she said “yes” _and_ gave me her number _and_ seemed keen initially on doing something just bugs me now that this most recent thing has happened. It makes no fucking sense to me, really, why she would’ve said “yes” in the first place if she had no intention of going out. Ugh. Hopefully she gets back to me, but otherwise all I can do is act like nothing happened, period. In the meantime, I’ll start holding my breath when she does. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/64 "2012-04-28T01:26:12Z")
> [@2ManyTacos](#): > > And this, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons why I make threads like this. I mean, maybe her actions will make more sense to the women of this board, but as a guy, **all I can say is that the amount of deception at work here is absolutely staggering**. If you really and truly believe what I’ve bolded then there must be far, far more to this interaction than we will ever know. Really, that’s absurd. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Gnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_gnomer/32/3466_2.png) [@Miss\_Gnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Gnomer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/65 "2012-04-28T01:34:35Z")
> [@2ManyTacos](#): > > And this, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons why I make threads like this. I mean, maybe her actions will make more sense to the women of this board, but as a guy, all I can say is that the amount of deception at work here is absolutely staggering. > [@2ManyTacos](#): > > It makes no fucking sense to me, really, why she would’ve said “yes” in the first place if she had no intention of going out. Wow you’ve looked for the worst in this situation! Deception? really?! People change their minds. Situations change - maybe she saw you picking your nose in class?! Maybe her childhood sweetheart suddenly came back? Of course you can’t make sense of someone else’s decisions when you have no idea of what is going on in their life, but purposeful deception is not generally the way most people go about their lives. I doubt she planned to do this to hurt you or make you feel bad or even mislead you. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/66 "2012-04-28T18:53:33Z")
Well, at least you tried. Consider it practice at working up your nerve- for better opportunities to come. This attempt will make it easier for you next time; if you don’t let it bring you down. And don’t assume that all women are going to be like this particular one. For what its worth, this whole situation will just become a small part of your learning experience. You will learn from it - what to look for, what red flags are flying, and how many fish are still in the sea. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545/67 "2012-04-28T23:08:29Z")
Look I cant answer for anyone else, but this was some of my younger years. Id get girls being friendly and Id think they were just being friendly, in retrospect they were interested in me because I was an arty dancer and somewhat interesting and all that, and all was fine as long as I just thought they were being friendly. But when it came to the crunch Id ask them out and would sound well, desperate - the anxiety was palpable and I’d instantly make it into an awkward situation. I went from being cool and interesting to the interest vanishing in a matter of seconds. I think this is mostly because the other person knows when that level of anxiety occurs, no easy exit will be possible, going out once will be seen as a ‘commitment’ and ‘WHYYY wont you go out with me’ as almost a guarantee down the track. Given you eventually asked her out by answering message, I guess Im wondering if something similar happened here, given the cool tattoo vs nervousness thing happening. If not, well lucky Im married now I guess, because I dont think dating was exactly my strong suit, and Im just glad Im not that age any more as well. Otara [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-decipher-whether-this-girl-is-interested-in-me/619545.md?page=3)