# Help me feel better: embarrassing/disgusting kitchen brain farts... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 21, 2016, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-feel-better-embarrassing-disgusting-kitchen-brain-farts/757940 "2016-06-21T04:08:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-feel-better-embarrassing-disgusting-kitchen-brain-farts/757940/41 "2016-06-24T16:22:45Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > LOL. > > I’m at my GF’s house. Before I leave, my GF fills an empty water bottle with laundry detergent. I put it in my bag, which also had an actual bottle of water. > > On the way home, I get thirsty. So I blindly fumble around in the bag as I’m keeping my eyes on the road. I opened up the bottle and take a huge swig, only to discover I now have a mouthful of soap. So I quickly pulled over in an attempt to spit it out. Only except, I was having difficulty spitting it out because the soap has the consistency of pancake syrup. So I grabbed my bottle of water, took a swig, swished it around in my mouth, and when I spit it out, I’m spewing suds all over the place. I went through that entire bottle of water trying to get that soap out of my mouth. By the time I was done, there was a pool of suds the size of a lake on the pavement. How did you not smell the laundry detergent before it ever so slowly, as it was thick as pancake syrup, hit your lips? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-feel-better-embarrassing-disgusting-kitchen-brain-farts/757940/42 "2016-06-24T17:49:33Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > I was making a cake and the recipe called for 2/3 cups of sugar (or something). I spent an embarrassing amount of time looking for the 2/3 measuring cup. It wasn’t until I had my keys in hand walking out the door to go to the store before I realized how dumb I was. It’s not so crazy! The classic Tupperware cups had 1/4, 1/3, 1/2, 2/3, 3/4, and one. I have them in avocado and they will be pried from my cold dead hand. > **[PicClick • Search eBay Faster. Find it first!](https://picclick.com/)** > > Click to shop the largest selection of eBay Motors, Antiques, Art, Baby, Books & Magazines, Business & Industrial, Cameras & Photo, Cell Phones & Accessories, Clothing, Shoes & Accessories, Coins & Paper Money, Collectibles,... ---
**Author:** ![pieceoftheuniverse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7993a0/32.png) [@pieceoftheuniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pieceoftheuniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-feel-better-embarrassing-disgusting-kitchen-brain-farts/757940/43 "2016-06-24T18:12:39Z")
I was making a stir-fry for my girlfriend. No problem; slice up the meat, add vegetables, add spices … But, you see, I had just cooked a pot of beans the day before. And when I do that, I use the “pour” spout on the pepper. Most of the pepper gets washed away in the water when the beans are drained, so adding a little extra never hurts. The same cannot be said for stir-fry. To compound the error, I gave the pepper container a little extra initial shake, and watched in horror as about five tablespoons poured over the pan … I tried to save it by adding more things (vegetables, rice, anything!) but all that did was add mass. The spice level somehow remained the same, and now, because I had added to it, it took longer to go through the leftovers. It took about a week of very spicy dinners before we were done with it all. Edit To Add: Just thought of another one! I once forgot to defrost some vegetables before mealtime. In a rush, I set oil in the pan, turned it on high, then poured the iced veggies in … Did you know oil and water \*\*\*really \*\*\*don’t like each other? That hot oil and frozen water are a good way to start a fire? Now you know! ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-feel-better-embarrassing-disgusting-kitchen-brain-farts/757940/44 "2016-06-24T18:28:58Z")
I borrowed a nice heavy duty plastic pitcher from my mom a few weeks ago. It has a nice snap on lid with a gasket. I put it in the dishwasher to clean it before returning it. Normally heavy duty plastic like this in my dishwasher would be fine. Normally. I loaded a bunch of other things and completely forgot it was there. One of the last things I loaded was the nastiest rancid peanut butter jar that you’ve ever found in your sink. The kids had filled it with water and left it when it was “empty” instead of dealing with it. So I picked “Sanitary Rinse” because the entire kitchen smelled like rancid yuck. When I opened the dishwasher the smell was gone and my mom’s fancy pitcher looked like modern art, all bendy and wavy - very melted. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2016, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-feel-better-embarrassing-disgusting-kitchen-brain-farts/757940/45 "2016-06-24T20:28:57Z")
Not my own brain fart, but I once had to throw out a 20-pound beef roast after my boss put it in the oven while I was on lunch break (around 1:00PM) and failed to tell me about. I found the lump of charcoal at 7:30 that evening when I was closing up. (It was the convection oven located directly under the grill, so I didn’t notice the heat, and couldn’t hear its fan over the sound of the big exhaust fan, and that oven didn’t have a glass window in the door which would have allowed me to see something inside.) ---
**Author:** ![bmoak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@bmoak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bmoak)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-feel-better-embarrassing-disgusting-kitchen-brain-farts/757940/46 "2016-06-25T00:25:27Z")
> [@JR\_Brown](#): > > Thanksgiving is pretty much the only time of year I do heavy cooking, and in particular the only time I’m likely to use the oven. The Thanksgiving before last I bought a bunch of plastic food-storage containers to hold the leftovers. Since my kitchen is quite small and doesn’t have a lot of cabinet space, after they had been emptied (and washed) I ended up storing them in the oven. > > So. Last Thanksgiving I gear up for the annual full-court-press cooking cavalcade: with the turkey being prepped on the counter, I turn on the oven to preheat. Shortly afterwards there is the appetizing smell of burning plastic… When I was kid, my dad hid my Easter basket in the oven and neglected to inform mom. While he was teasing me about my inability to find my basket, mom turned on the oven to start baking the ham… ---
**Author:** ![bmoak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@bmoak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bmoak)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2016, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-feel-better-embarrassing-disgusting-kitchen-brain-farts/757940/47 "2016-06-25T00:49:09Z")
I was trying to cook some nice, healthy quinoa for the first time, but I had trouble getting it out of the sealed bag it was packaged in. The bag tore and my momentum spun me around, scattering quinoa all over the kitchen. I was finding quinoa in nooks and crevices of my kitchen for months. Also, when de-seeding pepperoncini, don’t use your ungloved hand to wipe the sweat out of your eyes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-feel-better-embarrassing-disgusting-kitchen-brain-farts/757940.md?page=2)