# Help me find a reading for my wedding? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 2, 2004, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-a-reading-for-my-wedding/277706 "2004-12-02T16:07:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-a-reading-for-my-wedding/277706/1 "2004-12-02T16:07:31Z")
I’m looking for a reading for my upcoming wedding, to be read by my fiance’s two sisters, and I’m really picky. Our ceremony will be 100% secular, so I would rather that the reading does not have any mention at all of God. We’ve pored over literally hundreds of suggested readings in books and on websites, but they all seem overly flowery or mushy, or have been done to death at the weddings of our friends. It’ll be a traditional ceremony (even though it’s not religious) and so something really wacky and off-the-wall wouldn’t really fit in, but at the same time, we’d like something a little different from the same old same old. Also not a big fan of Shakespeare-style language. The sort of thing that we would like to express is similar to that in the old “I love you not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you”, but I am really bored of hearing it at every wedding I’ve been to for the last couple years and imagine my friends are too. We also kind of like some of the Native blessings we’ve seen on some of the websites we’ve looked on, but again, we’d like to avoid anything that’s popular enough that it’s on one of those websites in the first place. (And please, I mean no offense to anyone who’s used any of these, I think they’re really lovely, just not quite what we’re looking for) So, any thoughts for a totally secular, non-mushy, plain-English, somewhat original reading? ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-a-reading-for-my-wedding/277706/2 "2004-12-02T16:20:57Z")
We used a reading from Kahlil Gibran’s _The Prophet_: You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-a-reading-for-my-wedding/277706/3 "2004-12-02T16:40:11Z")
Our three readings, winnowed from a lot: > [@](#): > > Marriage by Judy Bielicki > > Marriage demands a deep commitment, but it also brings great joys, opportunities and freedoms. > > Marriage provides the warmth of absolute trust, the joy of unconditional love, the security of shared ideals, and shared values. > > A loving marriage nurtures potential, and encourages the fulfilment of dreams and aspirations. > > It provides the security that is gained by giving and receiving strength and support in difficult times, and the pleasures of sharing in the happiness of good times. > > Today, X and Y pledge their love. > > Together they face the future, acknowledging their commitment to each other, and secure in their resolve to share fully the joys, opportunities and the strength of marriage. > [@](#): > > Every Day by Dally Messenger > > Every day you live, learn something more of love. Take time with each other, restore each other’s souls with loving words. Receive love with as much understanding as you give it. Find that which is within yourselves so that you can share it with each other. Do not fear love and do not fear marriage – but keep open hearts and sincere minds. > > Be sincerely interested in each other’s happiness, be constant and consistent in your love and in your actions. From this will come security and strength. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. > > So, even though your retain your individuality, today, in a real sense, you also become one in a true unity. That this may be deep and rewarding, today, the day of your marriage, try to commit yourselves fully and freely and trustingly to each other, without reservations. > [@](#): > > Prayers of the Faithful, courtesy of Michael Leunig > > Bless X and Y and give them rain when they expect sun. Give them music when they expect trouble. Give them tears when they expect breakfast. Give them dreams when they expect a storm. Give them a stray dog when they expect congratulations. Lord, play with them, turn them sideways and around. Help them to step out of character and into the unknown, to struggle and love and do what they will together throughout their married life. The last has the word “Lord” in it, but it’s plenty good enough that we didn’t have a problem with it. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-a-reading-for-my-wedding/277706/4 "2004-12-02T16:44:27Z")
Our reading was from [The Building of the Ship](http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/poem1319.html) by Longfellow. Here’s a few excerpts from which you might pull some material: On the deck another bride Is standing by her lover’s side. Shadows from the flags and shrouds, Like the shadows cast by clouds, Broken by many a sunny fleck, Fall around them on the deck. The prayer is said, The service read, The joyous bridegroom bows his head; And in tears the good old Master Shakes the brown hand of his son, Kisses his daughter’s glowing cheek In silence, for he cannot speak, And ever faster Down his own the tears begin to run. The worthy pastor – The shepherd of that wandering flock, That has the ocean for its wold, That has the vessel for its fold, Leaping ever from rock to rock – Spake, with accents mild and clear, Words of warning, words of cheer, But tedious to the bridegroom’s ear. He knew the chart Of the sailor’s heart, All its pleasures and its griefs, All its shallows and rocky reefs, All those secret currents, that flow With such resistless undertow, And lift and drift, with terrible force, The will from its moorings and its course. Therefore he spake, and thus said he: – “Like unto ships far off at sea, Outward or homeward bound, are we. Before, behind, and all around, Floats and swings the horizon’s bound, Seems at its distant rim to rise And climb the crystal wall of the skies, And then again to turn and sink, As if we could slide from its outer brink. Ah! it is not the sea, It is not the sea that sinks and shelves, But ourselves That rock and rise With endless and uneasy motion, Now touching the very skies, Now sinking into the depths of ocean. Ah! if our souls but poise and swing Like the compass in its brazen ring, Ever level and ever true To the toil and the task we have to do, We shall sail securely, and safely reach The Fortunate Isles, on whose shining beach The sights we see, and the sounds we hear, Will be those of joy and not of fear!” * * * And lo! from the assembled crowd There rose a shout, prolonged and loud, That to the ocean seemed to say, “Take her, O bridegroom, old and gray, Take her to thy protecting arms, With all her youth and all her charms!” How beautiful she is! How fair She lies within those arms, that press Her form with many a soft caress Of tenderness and watchful care! Sail forth into the sea, O ship! Through wind and wave, right onward steer! The moistened eye, the trembling lip, Are not the signs of doubt or fear. Sail forth into the sea of life, O gentle, loving, trusting wife, And safe from all adversity Upon the bosom of that sea Thy comings and thy goings be! For gentleness and love and trust Prevail o’er angry wave and gust; And in the wreck of noble lives Something immortal still survives! * * * Fear not each sudden sound and shock, 'T is of the wave and not the rock; 'T is but the flapping of the sail, And not a rent made by the gale! In spite of rock and tempest’s roar, In spite of false lights on the shore, Sail on, nor fear to breast the sea! Our hearts, our hopes, are all with thee, Our hearts, our hopes, our prayers, our tears, Our faith triumphant o’er our fears, Are all with thee, – are all with thee! ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-a-reading-for-my-wedding/277706/5 "2004-12-02T18:03:55Z")
e.e. cummings, [“i carry your heart”](http://www.artofeurope.com/cummings/cum1.htm) This was one of the readings at my wedding, and I haven’t heard it at any others, but I don’t know how commonly it’s used. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-a-reading-for-my-wedding/277706/6 "2004-12-02T22:43:47Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > e.e. cummings, [“i carry your heart”](http://www.artofeurope.com/cummings/cum1.htm) > > This was one of the readings at my wedding, and I haven’t heard it at any others, but I don’t know how commonly it’s used. Thank you for sharing that, that’s beautiful! It sounds cliched at the beginning, and does mention God, but [“How Do I Love Thee?”](http://quotations.about.com/cs/poemlyrics/a/How_Do_I_Love.htm) is very pretty and solemn. ---
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-a-reading-for-my-wedding/277706/7 "2004-12-03T15:37:12Z")
Wow, thank you all, these are all so beautiful. I really appreciate it! ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-a-reading-for-my-wedding/277706/8 "2004-12-03T16:02:27Z")
I had the lyrics from John Denver’s _Annie’s Song_ read at my wedding. “Come, let me love you, let me give my life to you. Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms. Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you. Come, let me love you, come love me again.” They’re beautiful, and I love the song.