# Help me find my clothes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 20, 2005, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270 "2005-07-20T10:47:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/21 "2005-07-20T14:26:31Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > How dare you insinuate that my gameplay is anything less than scintilating!!! :eek: \ Erm…no. Meant nothing of the kind. Meant that the loss of your jeans would only add to the excitement of your play…\ 😉 PS-ignorant Yankee here-I presume the the Rangers of which you all speak are not the Texas ones? ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/22 "2005-07-20T14:38:03Z")
When an article of my clothing goes missing, about 90% of the time it is _behind_ something: behind a chair, behind the laundry hamper, behind the washer, etc. ---
**Author:** ![nonacetone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonacetone/32/2819_2.png) [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/23 "2005-07-20T15:04:14Z")
You have a blanket. Look under there. They may be hiding…which, apparently, they are… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![EllaBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a5b964/32.png) [@EllaBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllaBean)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/24 "2005-07-20T16:06:32Z")
I always find it quite helpful to walk around the house bellowing, “WHERE ARE MY PANTS???” and ask every living creature in the house. “NAMELESS FISH, HAVE YOU SEEN MY PANTS?” “PACO, I BET YOU TOOK THEM! STUPID BIRD!” have you looked under all the chairs? how about behind the dresser? in a bag, perhaps? maybe behind the dryer or washer? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/25 "2005-07-20T18:12:54Z")
Well, let’s see:: Jeans sounds like genes. Your genes are in your DNA, therefore your jeans must be in your DNA. Now you just have to figure out what your DNA is. Your **D** arling **N** eighbor’s **A** partment, maybe? Go knock and ask. Logic is so underused these days. ---
**Author:** ![swanky\_glue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@swanky\_glue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swanky_glue)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/26 "2005-07-20T18:41:26Z")
I suggest checking the mailbox of your neighbor who lives three houses up the street from you. That’s where I found a pair of glasses I lost once. Of course, someone had run them over with a car, but on a pair of jeans, tire tracks might give them some character. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/27 "2005-07-20T18:42:33Z")
> [@Doctor Jackson](#): > > Well, let’s see:: > > Jeans sounds like genes. Your genes are in your DNA, therefore your jeans must be in your DNA. Now you just have to figure out what your DNA is. Your **D** arling **N** eighbor’s **A** partment, maybe? Go knock and ask. > > Logic is so underused these days. Pfft. You want logic from a musician? ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/28 "2005-07-20T18:45:51Z")
Hmmm, there aren’t three houses up the street (although there’s three down the street), and my neighbour is anything but darling. I suppose I could take the astrophysics route, **Angua** , and spend several years making observations of my house before identifying a number of potential jeans-like objects? ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/29 "2005-07-20T18:47:20Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > I suppose I could take the astrophysics route, **Angua** , and spend several years making observations of my house before identifying a number of potential jeans-like objects? Yep, and you could even calculate their Jeans Mass. I’ll get me coat. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/30 "2005-07-20T18:48:55Z")
Fur coat and no trousers? ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/31 "2005-07-20T18:51:26Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > Fur coat and no trousers? That’s right. I’ve got a skirt on. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/32 "2005-07-20T19:15:49Z")
When’s the last time you took anything out of the pockets of those jeans? No, you wore a skirt that night. Okay, good. But you didn’t take them off in the bedroom that night. For some reason, you took them off …in some other room. …and hung them somewhere because they weren’t as flattering as the shorts you had picked for the evening. They might be on the floor of your other closet. No, the OTHER one. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/33 "2005-07-20T19:32:58Z")
I hate to be the one to break this to you, **GorillaMan** , but I believe the Underwear Gnomes have escaped from your dryer and are beginning to invade the rest of your house. I repeat: The Underwear Gnomes have escaped. It all starts innocently enough with two socks being put into the dryer and only one coming back out. Then it’s a pair of jeans, or a black belt (in my case) that disappears from the bedroom floor. Before you know it, your pizza cutters and spatulas will begin to disappear. After that, they might lay off for awhile so you don’t become too suspicious. Then, just when you think you’re safe, they’ll come for your hand lotion. You should probably move now while you still can. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/34 "2005-07-20T19:33:49Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > No, you wore a skirt that night. I only do that at the weekends 😉 And nope, there’s no other closet of any kind - and there’s only three other rooms to check, which I’ve already done. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/35 "2005-07-20T19:35:47Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > I only do that at the weekends 😉 And calls himself Annabel. Zombies did it. Try the dustbin. You never know. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/36 "2005-07-20T19:39:04Z")
> [@yellowval](#): > > It all starts innocently enough with two socks being put into the dryer and only one coming back out…After that, they might lay off for awhile so you don’t become too suspicious. You know, you might be onto something - and they’re even more cunning than that. Recently, I’ve been finding long-lost matches for odd socks. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/37 "2005-07-20T19:42:01Z")
I knew it! They’re sneaky little buggers. Hey, if you find my black belt, let me know. ---
**Author:** ![VegemiteMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/df788c/32.png) [@VegemiteMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VegemiteMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/38 "2005-07-20T20:28:34Z")
They’re tangled up in your bedding. That oughta teach you to make the bed. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/39 "2005-07-20T20:35:03Z")
They are under a sofa cushion. Not the little throw pillows, one of those big cushions. Might even be jammed down in the sofa crack. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270/40 "2005-07-20T20:47:06Z")
If you guys can help him, help me, too! I can’t find my Polaroid camera. I’ve looked in all the traditional places, under the bed, behind the couch, etc. Where oh where could it be? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-find-my-clothes/313270.md?page=3)