# Help me get rid of the jerk in our basement **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 3, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897 "2012-12-03T20:12:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/21 "2012-12-04T04:06:15Z")
Schedule an exterminator to tent the house, then change the locks immediately after access is allowed. Seriously, there will have to be a formal eviction. If the guy is dealing drugs, though, call the cops and grant permission to search the premises. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/22 "2012-12-04T04:15:22Z")
[QUOTE=tim-n-va] IANAL but I have read internet message boards. In many jurisdictions you can’t just kick someone out, you have to give them notice. Rent or no is not an issue, that is his current residence. Written notice, then the police will “help”. [/QUOTE] Seconded. By tolerating them for more than a month or so, your father has probably unwittingly turned Jerk into a tenant, and now Jerk has all of the normal rights of a tenant, so your father can’t just chuck Jerk out, and will need to serve eviction papers. At the very least, your father should check with the local police if they can offer any advice on getting rid of a squatter, and maybe checking with a landlord-tenant attorney wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Best case scenario, he can change the locks and put Jerk’s stuff outside, but if the guy has rights as a tenant, a “self-help” eviction could result in your father being sued by Jerk for an illegal eviction. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/23 "2012-12-04T06:27:04Z")
I went through this several years ago and yeah, your BF’s dad will need a lawyer. In my situation, I talked to a lawyer and the lawyer sent the Jerk a letter requesting that he leave within 30 days or formal eviction proceedings would begin. The letter was enough of an incentive and the Jerk left. It was considerably cheaper than going straight to court with an eviction. Some folks are impressed by letterhead stationery – maybe the Jerk in your BF’s dad’s basement will be impressed too. So suggest to BF’s dad that he try that route, if he can find a lawyer who will agree to do it. ---
**Author:** ![DataX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@DataX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DataX)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/24 "2012-12-04T06:48:32Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > Schedule an exterminator to tent the house, then change the locks immediately after access is allowed. > > Seriously, there will have to be a formal eviction. If the guy is dealing drugs, though, call the cops and grant permission to search the premises. > ~VOW FWIW - technically he still has the right to privacy for his areas/rooms. They can only legally give consent for common areas or their own rooms. I still think it is a good idea. It isn’t like HE would know any of that and police would probably scare him. Only problem is if boyfriends dad won’t kick him out - will he really call the cops on him. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/25 "2012-12-04T09:08:30Z")
INAL, but I’d be worried about calling in the cops with drugs involved; they might arrest Dad for knowing about it, or grab the whole house under forfeiture laws. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/26 "2012-12-04T09:38:20Z")
I suggest wacky misunderstandings. Ask your parents over for an elaborate formal dinner, and then tell them that the guy in the basement is the Crown Prince of Bulungi in order to impress them. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/27 "2012-12-04T12:04:54Z")
If the basement has a dirt floor, I’ve got an idea. PM me. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/28 "2012-12-04T12:07:09Z")
He’s no jerk. He’s a genius in comparison to everyone else in the house. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/29 "2012-12-04T12:34:48Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > He’s no jerk. He’s a genius in comparison to everyone else in the house. Okay, this cracked me up. Honestly, I was confused from the first sentence. When the OP said “our house,” I stupidly assumed it was the OPer’s house. In reality, it’s her boyfriend’s parent’s house. Short advice: Not your house, not your problem. Longer advice: Your “master plan” should include NOTHING other than advising the father to file a legal eviction notice. Longer, unsolicited advice: Move out and associate with a higher caliber of people. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/30 "2012-12-04T15:45:21Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Honestly, I was confused from the first sentence. When the OP said “our house,” I stupidly assumed it was the OPer’s house. In reality, it’s her boyfriend’s parent’s house. And it didn’t end there. Was the guy ever actually asked to leave? Were any hints he is not welcome dropped? What is the OP’s reaction the FIL’s outrageous idea of her letting the basement dweller hit her? What does the boyfriend say to all of this? And the mother? And… “we are too emotionally” WHAT? Too emotionally dysfunctional to ask someone who outstayed their welcome to leave? Yes, you might need to go with formal eviction. But have you tried…just asking?! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/31 "2012-12-04T15:54:45Z")
Flood the basement with water. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/32 "2012-12-04T15:58:41Z")
Invite him on a family trip. Five hours from home, pull off the turnpike at a rest stop. While he pees, everyone pile back in the car and head home. Change the locks. ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/33 "2012-12-04T16:04:20Z")
I am on the side of the people that are more concerned about you than this tenant. Suggesting you get hit is beyond screwed up. Move out and get away from this family before you get seriously hurt. As far as the tenant, if you really care, go to the local courthouse and ask for the paperwork to evict someone. Obviously this family can’t afford a lawyer if they can’t afford to call the police when the guy “borrows” their car. It can be done without a lawyer for a fee that varies by counties. They will give you the information at the courthouse. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/34 "2012-12-04T16:13:16Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > But have you tried…just asking?! :smack: Seriously. Put yourself in the jerk’s shoes. If I was living somewhere that I had overstayed my welcome, I would expect to be talked to about it. I wouldn’t like it, but I’d make plans to find new arrangements and hopefully stay friends. If I found out that my housemates went behind my back to have cops forcefully evict me, or have a lawyer draw up an eviction notice, or bug-bomb the place while I was still at home, I’d resent the fuck out of them. And I’d retaliate with legal action. Because that would make them the bad guys. Just. ASK. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/35 "2012-12-04T16:22:34Z")
Escort your BF Dad to the county office to acquire the paperwork to evict. Then everyone else in the house, as a united group, meets with deadbeat, serves the eviction paperwork and tells him, in no uncertain terms, to be out by…specified date. Prior to the set date, acquire boxes etc. On or after the date, when he leaves the house, and together as a unit, get the locksmith in(you could arrange something in advance I expect!), and change the locks. Pack everything he owns into the boxes, put them in the garage. If he turns up and won’t leave when asked, call the police so they can witness you (again, as a united group!), giving him access to his things. Never trust your BF Dad to accomplish anything alone, he can’t do it, don’t expect him to. Plus, always have a witness in your dealing with the basement dweller. Always. Depending on your county it may be 30, 60, or 90 days, but that time is going to pass anyway, it’s just a case of filling out the paperwork. (Way cheaper than a lawyer or an impounded car, how will he secure his cars if the guy has keys? You need to think about things like this!) Then wait for the time to pass. Most importantly your BF Dad isn’t going to change his stripes into a guy with a spine. Do not let him drag you into his idiocy. But maybe offer to be his spine, hold his hand through each step, be at his side. You should make it clear though, if he fails to deliver or makes excuses, you’re out. Goading a drug user is the very height of stupidity. Please, be smarter than you BF Dad! ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/36 "2012-12-04T16:22:51Z")
Everybody in the family hide in the bushes. Then one person ring the bell, and run and hide again. Then when he answers the door, nobody’s there, and…no, I guess that won’t really help. Still, it’ll be a good burn. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/37 "2012-12-04T17:21:10Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Okay, this cracked me up. > > Honestly, I was confused from the first sentence. When the OP said “our house,” I stupidly assumed it was the OPer’s house. In reality, it’s her boyfriend’s parent’s house. > > Short advice: Not your house, not your problem. > Longer advice: Your “master plan” should include NOTHING other than advising the father to file a legal eviction notice. > Longer, unsolicited advice: Move out and associate with a higher caliber of people. Exactly. OP, it is no more “your” house than it is _his_. Butt out. You’re a guest also. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/38 "2012-12-04T17:56:54Z")
One of the many fine fee-for-services that some bike gangs have been known to offer is to temporarily move into buildings where the landlord is having difficulty persuading tenants to leave. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/39 "2012-12-04T18:00:02Z")
Send in some anon reports to Homeland Security, then give him a plane ticket. Remember: rendition is your friend. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/40 "2012-12-04T18:01:20Z")
Move out and get your own place together. It sounds like it is dad’s house and you all all staying with him. It’s a bad, trashy situation to begin with. Grow up and move out and let dad take care of his own problems [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897.md?page=3)