# Help me get rid of the jerk in our basement **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 3, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897 "2012-12-03T20:12:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/41 "2012-12-04T20:49:35Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > I went through this several years ago and yeah, your BF’s dad will need a lawyer. > > In my situation, I talked to a lawyer and the lawyer sent the Jerk a letter requesting that he leave within 30 days or formal eviction proceedings would begin. The letter was enough of an incentive and the Jerk left. It was considerably cheaper than going straight to court with an eviction. Some folks are impressed by letterhead stationery – maybe the Jerk in your BF’s dad’s basement will be impressed too. > > So suggest to BF’s dad that he try that route, if he can find a lawyer who will agree to do it. That’s a very good idea. This way there is no question about in his mind about whether he’s welcome any longer or not. > [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > He’s no jerk. He’s a genius in comparison to everyone else in the house. Well, there’s that. > [@PunditLisa](#): > > Okay, this cracked me up. > > Honestly, I was confused from the first sentence. When the OP said “our house,” I stupidly assumed it was the OPer’s house. In reality, it’s her boyfriend’s parent’s house. > > Short advice: Not your house, not your problem. > Longer advice: Your “master plan” should include NOTHING other than advising the father to file a legal eviction notice. > Longer, unsolicited advice: Move out and associate with a higher caliber of people. This is good advice. > [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Flood the basement with water. This probably isn’t good advice, but it might be fun. 🙂 > [@April\_R](#): > > Move out and get your own place together. It sounds like it is dad’s house and you all all staying with him. It’s a bad, trashy situation to begin with. Grow up and move out and let dad take care of his own problems This too. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/42 "2012-12-04T20:54:28Z")
Flood the basement. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/43 "2012-12-04T21:02:22Z")
Wait a minute. I see now that it was the OPer’s first thread. I think we’ve all been whooshed. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/44 "2012-12-04T21:11:17Z")
Seconding, thirding, etc. “Dad needs to begin eviction procedings, not your problem, and most importantly ypu should run screaming from these trashy people.” But much more importantly: What the hell kind of motor fleet does the old man own that it would make sense to exchange free rent for mechanic work? Even my old 92 Ford POS didn’t run up repair bills exceeding the rent. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/45 "2012-12-04T21:12:16Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Wait a minute. I see now that it was the OPer’s first thread. I think we’ve all been whooshed. ?? I see 16 threads started by the OP since 2006, and a total of 135 posts. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/46 "2012-12-04T21:12:21Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Wait a minute. I see now that it was the OPer’s first thread. I think we’ve all been whooshed. Oh shit. The troll escaped from the basement. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/47 "2012-12-04T21:27:45Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Wait a minute. I see now that it was the OPer’s first thread. I think we’ve all been whooshed. Huh? No, she has started other threads in the past, incl. one about her aunt passing away. She’s also been posting for 6 years and has 135 posts. It’s a strange situation, but I think it’s an honest question. ETA: should’ve refreshed the thread since opening it a while ago. ---
**Author:** ![Sanity\_Challenged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Sanity\_Challenged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanity_Challenged)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/48 "2012-12-04T21:47:36Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Flood the basement. But then the uncle’s best friend’s neighbor’s cousin’s cat won’t be able to get to its litter box! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/49 "2012-12-04T21:48:45Z")
> [@Sanity\_Challenged](#): > > But then the uncle’s best friend’s neighbor’s cousin’s cat won’t be able to get to its litter box! That’s easy. Put the litter box on stilts. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/50 "2012-12-04T22:37:27Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > Huh? No, she has started other threads in the past, incl. one about her aunt passing away. Whoops. I stand corrected. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/51 "2012-12-04T23:06:29Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > Huh? No, she has started other threads in the past, incl. one about her aunt passing away. > > She’s also been posting for 6 years and has 135 posts. It’s a strange situation, but I think it’s an honest question. > > ETA: should’ve refreshed the thread since opening it a while ago. Doh! Sorry. That thud you heard was me jumping the gun. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/52 "2012-12-05T02:59:20Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Flood the basement with water. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > This probably isn’t good advice, but it might be fun. 🙂 No, it’s excellent advice. Bad advice would be flooding it with gasoline. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/53 "2012-12-05T03:02:27Z")
> [@Sanity\_Challenged](#): > > But then the uncle’s best friend’s neighbor’s cousin’s cat won’t be able to get to its litter box! Cats can swim! > [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > No, it’s excellent advice. Bad advice would be flooding it with gasoline. That would be expensive, too. How about flooding it with carbon monoxide until the jerk falls asleep, then dragging him out to the car, then driving him to a town a couple of hours away and dropping him off on the side of the road? Too much? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/54 "2012-12-05T03:12:52Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > How about flooding it with carbon monoxide until the jerk falls asleep, then dragging him out to the car, then driving him to a town a couple of hours away and dropping him off on the side of the road? Too much? An intriguing idea. But on my flooding suggestion, I was acting on the assumption that there were no windws and the door could be locked from the outside. You could still dump the body someplace distant. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/55 "2012-12-05T03:45:11Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Cats can swim! > > That would be expensive, too. > > How about flooding it with carbon monoxide until the jerk falls asleep, then dragging him out to the car, then driving him to a town a couple of hours away and dropping him off on the side of the road? Too much? Of course we just have one "guest’s’ opinion of another “guest” so maybe he’s not that much of a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/56 "2012-12-05T08:03:04Z")
Everyone get your own place from the proceeds of your own reality show that spun off from your joint appearance on the Jerry Springer show. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/57 "2012-12-05T08:07:59Z")
Speak to your boyfriend’s father about not paying property tax so as to get everyone evicted. Following the eviction, buy the house back at the tax sale, but do not let the boyfriend’s father’s friend move back into the basement. During the interregnum, just live in the vehicles. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/58 "2012-12-05T08:12:35Z")
Three serious questions. 1. Do you live there, and if so, do you pay rent at a rate similar to what others in the neighbourhood pay? 2. Does your boyfriend live there, and if so, does he pay rent at a rate similar to what others in the neighbourhood pay? 3. Unrelated to the questions above, have mental health professionals worked with your boyfriend’s father with a view to assisting him manage his own personal and financial affairs, or failing which have him put under a guardianship so that a guardian can manage his financial affairs for him? ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897/59 "2012-12-05T08:58:12Z")
**Muffin** , I think Point 3 has already been attended to. There’s a financial wizard living in the basement. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-the-jerk-in-our-basement/642897.md?page=2)