# Help me get rid of this woodchuck. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 8, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650 "2005-09-08T13:48:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/21 "2005-09-08T21:11:03Z")
And I have the calluses that go with the title. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/22 "2005-09-08T21:46:01Z")
I wish Iā€™d seen **Dex** ā€™s post before I went to the hardware store. It may come down to the bomb, even if it takes me a while to figure out how to get to the burrow. Itā€™s _way_ back under the deck. What I did get was a live trap. I chucked in a half eaten tomato and a sliced up apple as per suggestions in this thread, and set it in front of the spot where he gets through the bird net into the garden. The booklet that came with the trap suggested bacon, but screw that noise. Any bacon in this house will be eaten by me, not some mangy woodchuck. Net take thus far: one chipmunk. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/23 "2005-09-08T21:51:51Z")
Whatever you do, donā€™t chuck wood at it. Thereā€™s no telling how much wood it may chuck back at you. That is, of course, assuming that a woodchuck can indeed chuck wood. Iā€™m not sure this has been adequately researched by the scientific community. On a less serious note, my grandfather has trapped groundhogs with live traps and just put them on the floor of his car to let them out in a rural area. They werenā€™t happy, but they didnā€™t piss everywhere or anything. Iā€™m not sure if theyā€™re usually this well behaved in vehicles. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/24 "2005-09-08T21:58:35Z")
I GOT HIM! I swear, that trap wasnā€™t set for an hour and I trapped myself a big fat woodchuck. We watched him for a couple of minutes and he just sat there calmly munching apple slices. It took him a while to twig to the fact that he was trapped. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Now I just have to get rid of him. Weā€™ve got a nice spot picked out, far away from any residences or dairy farms. So long, Chuck. Youā€™re evicted. ---
**Author:** ![PaperBlob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@PaperBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaperBlob)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/25 "2005-09-08T22:27:41Z")
Sweeeeet. Now for the follow-up: are you sure heā€™s the only one living in that hole? Even if he/she was a bachelor/bachelorette, there are most likely others in the neighborhood. Might want to set the trap again after you drop him off just to see what happens. Also, I would definitely fill in/destroy its den. Anything to make it more difficult for another one to move in! Keep up the good work. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/26 "2005-09-08T22:31:07Z")
Congratulations. Nasty, chittering, tick-ridden gluttonous bastards, arenā€™t they? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/27 "2005-09-08T23:00:32Z")
BTW, how much wood could he chuck? (canā€™t believe this thread got to 25 posts without thatā€¦ šŸ™‚ ) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/28 "2005-09-08T23:12:34Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > While firearm shooting is illegal in your town, air rifles probably are not. Iā€™ve killed rabbits and even a 'possum with my hand-pumped Daisy Monte Carlo. The first pellet wonā€™t always kill, but it makes the critter wait until you ten-pump for the next shot. The CO2 models will give you a quicker interval between shots. > . This is what I was going to suggest. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/29 "2005-09-08T23:13:38Z")
Whoopsie. Didnā€™t see youā€™d caught him. Congrats! Good on you! ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/30 "2005-09-09T00:34:25Z")
> [@John Mace](#): > > BTW, how much wood could he chuck? > > (canā€™t believe this thread got to 25 posts without thatā€¦ šŸ™‚ ) Actually, it didnā€™t. There were several references to wood chucking. Now, what I was waiting for was: ā€œWill no one rid me of this turbulent beast?ā€ šŸ˜ƒ Congratulations on the no-kill catch, Exgineer. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/31 "2005-09-09T13:02:23Z")
We turned him loose in the middle of 8.5 acres of undeveloped nothing, far from where he could cause anybody else any grief. There he could gambol among the trees and wildflowers, and probably get eaten by coyotes if he didnā€™t get a new burrow dug quickly enough. Itā€™s sort of amusing how absurdly pleased I was with myself for doing something as mundane as trapping a woodchuck. I actually got out the camera and snapped a couple of pictures of the chuck in the trap. My wife laughed at me for that. Rest assured that we will remain vigilant against further incursions by the enemy. Thereā€™s a skunk out there somewhere too. Thanks, guys, for all the helpful advice. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/32 "2005-09-09T13:37:21Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > We turned him loose in the middle of 8.5 acres of undeveloped nothing, far from where he could cause anybody else any grief. There he could gambol among the trees and wildflowers, and probably get eaten by coyotes if he didnā€™t get a new burrow dug quickly enough. > > Itā€™s sort of amusing how absurdly pleased I was with myself for doing something as mundane as trapping a woodchuck. I actually got out the camera and snapped a couple of pictures of the chuck in the trap. My wife laughed at me for that. > > Rest assured that we will remain vigilant against further incursions by the enemy. Thereā€™s a skunk out there somewhere too. Thanks, guys, for all the helpful advice. **Exgineer** of the SDMB, hereafter known as Davy Crockett, King Of The Wild Wookchucks! šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/33 "2005-09-09T14:22:21Z")
Now youā€™ve to eat him - Itā€™s natureā€™s WAY! > [@](#): > > Stewed Woodchuck > > 1 plump woodchuck, dressed > +cup vinegar > 2 tsp salt > 2 Tbs baking soda > 1 large onion, sliced thin > +tsp pepper > 1 bay leaf > 4 whole allspice > 1 Tbs chopped parsley > dash Worcestershire sauce > 2 tsp flour in 2 Tbs water > In a crock or large ceramic or glass bowl, cover meat with water and add vinegar and salt. Let stand overnight. Drain meat and place in heavy kettle. Again, cover with water, and add soda. Bring to a boil and boil for 20 minutes. Drain meat. Rinse kettle. Put meat in kettle. Again, cover with water, and add onion, pepper, bay leaf, allspice, parsley and Worcestershire sauce. Simmer for about one hour until meat is tender, but not falling off the bones. Transfer meat to a heated platter and keep warm. Reduce remaining liquid in kettle by boiling down to about 1+ cups. Thicken with the flour mixture and pour over the meat. ---
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/34 "2005-09-09T14:33:03Z")
Post the pics. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/35 "2005-09-09T16:03:33Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > Thereā€™s a skunk out there somewhere too. Thanks, guys, for all the helpful advice. Just a little more helpful advice - if _you must_ live trap a skunk, wrap the trap in a burlap sack or something similar first. They are just a little less likely to retaliate in an unpleasant manner if they canā€™t see you. But actually Iā€™d leave the skunk alone under most circumstances. They can help out by eating rodents, insects, snails and slugs ( though granted, they might decide some of the garden vegetables are delectable as well ). - Tamerlane ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/36 "2005-09-09T16:36:21Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > We turned him loose in the middle of 8.5 acres of undeveloped nothing, far from where he could cause anybody else any grief. Way to go! And if, many years from now, you take the dirt nap and wake up to find that god is a giant woodchuck. . . ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/37 "2005-09-09T18:41:57Z")
> [@gazpacho](#): > > Post the pics. I suppose that now would be a good time to admit that Iā€™m an idiot and donā€™t know how. **vetbridge** just made me nervous. What if Iā€™ve traumatized the Woodchuck Messiah? ---
**Author:** ![JXJohns](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jxjohns/32/469_2.png) [@JXJohns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JXJohns)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/38 "2005-09-09T18:48:59Z")
Iā€™m the one who shot a woodchuck. I am shaking nowā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Daylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/45deac/32.png) [@Daylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylon)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/39 "2005-09-10T09:08:33Z")
Depends on how mean you want to beā€¦ Slightly Mean Suggestion #1 - you can put a ring of dried, crushed habenero peppers around your vegetable garden, one whiff of that up his nose, and heā€™ll never come back. Really mean Suggestion #2 - put a large bowl of antifreeze out under your deck. Only problem is that other animals could be affected. (I.e. woodchuck collateral damage). Of course, then youā€™d have to find the body. D. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650/40 "2005-09-10T13:17:41Z")
> [@Daylon](#): > > Really mean Suggestion #2 - put a large bowl of antifreeze out under your deck. Only problem is that other animals could be affected. (I.e. woodchuck collateral damage). I see 6 to 12 dogs/cats each year with ethylene glycol toxicity. Not a pleasant way to die. Renal failure, seizures, etc. Should a neighbors child happen across the antifreeze and ingest some, I do not think your home-owners insurance will have your back. ā˜¹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-get-rid-of-this-woodchuck/320650.md?page=3)