I’ve seen more than one formula, and sizes aren’t as uniform as you’d think between brands (or hell, the same brand–La Senza’s 32B fits me for about a week, but La Senza Girl’s 32B is perfect for me).
Tell your wife to shove her squeamishness into a kitchen drawer for an afternoon and get herself measured. It’s really easy to have the wrong size bra on and think that it ‘fits’, when really you’re a band size big or a cup size small or something just isn’t right. Trust me, she’ll thank herself for it.
Why is she horrified of being measured? Does she think the professionals haven’t seen breasts before and are going to be talking about her behind her back?
Yep, if you expect to walk into a store, pull a 34B off the rack, and get a comfortable well fitting bra without trying it on, you are either living in lala land or you’ve had extraordinary luck.
Plus, what one woman finds comfortable, another doesn’t. (Please, no seams across the nipples for me - though obviously it doesn’t bother other people as much given the number of nipple seamed bras on the market).
Bra shopping is one of those things that involves going to the store, trying on a lot of bras, buying a few. Then - unless you gain or lose weight or have a baby, or THEY STOP MAKING YOUR BRA, you can buy over the internet for a few years - but in a few years you NEED to do it again.
As a guy I’ve been in a situation similar to your. My g/f at the time hated all her bra’s complained constantly but wouldn’t get new ones.
In the end she sucked it up got measured and now goes to the same place every time bra shopping comes around, gets measured and gets all new bras no problem.
Just tell her to suck it up and get measured. It needs to happen.
I have a feeling it’s going to be even harder to get her to go to an expensive place like Nordstrom’s (even if I tell her I’m buying!). I’ll give it a try, but are there any other options?
Absolutely, but then what bugs me is even if you get your official size, bras labelled the same size don’t fit the same way, so trying on might lead you to yet another size. :smack:
My friend did have a very bad experience with the bra fitter, but it was also because she wasn’t really prepared to be swept into the dressing room and having a woman push at her flesh to get it into what she thought was the right spot. Never again, for her.
OP, how about a simple cotton sports bra? WalMart/KMart have plenty of those for cheap, and they aren’t always the uniboob they used to be.
I had the same problem with my wife. Her chestage had changed dramatically over the years and she kept complaining she couldn’t find a bra that fit right.
One Saturday when we were running errands, I drove to a bra shop which marketed itself to mastectomy and breast reconstruction patients. That minimized the whole intimidation thing. I shoved her through the door and went for coffee. 30 minutes later she emerged with three new bras. The kindly old saleswoman measured her, brought out a bunch of bras and put her in a dressing room. The third one she tried was a perfect fit.
Well, there’s mid-level department stores, Gottschalks and Penney’s and so on. What I would do is ask around–women who have been living there for a while and who know–and see who is recommended in your neck of the woods. Everyone here knows that Dorothy at Penney’s is the woman to see, for example. Get a fitting there and then see what you want to do afterwards.
I had an Aunt who was actually a certified bra fitter/consultant with one of the Dallas upscale department stores. For several years, any girl who accompanied me to any sort of family function would be pulled aside and quizzed about her bra Vs boobs and how they matched up. But all of those girls who actually presented herself for a fitting always raved about the results. So I guess there is something to the fitter advice.
Is she worried the salespeople will look down on her because she’s not wearing designer clothes or something? Assure her that high-end stores got that way by offering exceptional service, and her (or your) money is as good as anyone else’s. Generally, I get much better service from higher end stores. After all, that’s what you’re paying for.*
And if it makes her feel better, her goal should be to get one great-fitting, attractive bra as her reward for suffering through the fitting. She will then know her (approximate) size and what a true fit feels like. That doesn’t keep her from having to try on bras in the future, but she can at least be a better judge of what actually fits her properly.
I’m another one who discovered I was wearing two cup sizes too small. I spent a decade as a 36B before being fitted and finding out I was a 34D! I also hated underwires and refused to wear them because they pinched - because I was wearing the wrong size. Now I have no problems with them at all.
*ETA - Remember, the salespeople probably can’t afford designer clothes either! At least not without their employee discount.
Some towns have “the store” - its a little hole in the wall sort of store that carries a variety of bras - and probably some lingerie in the window. However, finding “the store” can be tough. Its an ask around thing.
Not all fitters at Nordstrom (or your other upscale department store) are equal - but its your best bet for getting a good fitter. The further down the department store chain you go, the better the chance that the fitter started last Tuesday and has never been properly trained, doesn’t know the merchandise, and is going to scare her away. Nordstrom generally is your best bet for finding someone who has been doing it for a while, has been properly trained, and is actually getting paid enough to have a clue (there is a reason Nordstrom charges a lot - and one of those reasons is they expect their sales people to be more than cashiers).
Don’t go on a weekend - don’t go during a shoe sale. Go on a Tuesday morning before the lunch crowd goes shopping.
Once you know what “the bra” is - you can go to eBay and buy them for less than Nordstrom carries them for. I find its nice to buy one from Nordstrom and wear it a bit before investing in several of them - particularly at places with less flexible return policies.
(Wacoal Bras, model 85185, 36D - mines an underwire, you don’t find much in a 36D that isn’t)
If she’s squeamish about having the bra lady measure her (and I actually can’t say I blame her), she can measure herself (or have you measure her.) All you need is a measuring tape. Here’s a page that gives you the basic directions for measuring for a bra. This is all the bra lady will do anyway.
Once you have your number, then you can go to the store and try on different styles and brands to find out what works best. Or you can order bras off the internet. Probably better to try on at first so that you know what you like. For example, I have to be very careful to get a bra that does not go up too high in the middle, or else it sticks out and looks very strange.
I dispute this. A good bra-fitter goes into the dressing room with you, measures you every which way, goes out and finds about five bras in a range of sizes, actually puts them on you, adjusts the straps, arranges the bra so it rests in the right spots, explains the right way to center your nipples (really) and explains to you the whole time what she is doing and why. And then goes and gets you more bras to try, then helps you decide which one (or three) you really want to take home.
While I am all for knowing your own measurements, those never work for me. I’ve tried it and I’ve always come out with some weird size that is nothing like my real one. Sorry, but there really is no substitute for a good, professional fitting.
This has been my experience as well. You really do need to have someone who knows what they’re doing.
I’m a bit confused as to why this would be so traumatic to her that she is turning to you to turn to a message board to help her. I guess I can understand it if you’re hauling some big ones around, but she’s a 34B (approximately). I’m a 32B and I can’t say that I’ve ever had a bra so uncomfortable that I’d turn to a man to help me.
Also, the OP reminds me of my first job after high school. While going to college I worked at Victoria’s Secret Catalog and we got a LOT of calls from men who wanted our “assistance” in these kinds of things. They’d usually end with a moan and ::click:: if the girl fell for it.
I’m just really confused about a grown woman who can’t or won’t take care of her own bra business. As someone mentioned before, I hate to think how it will upset her when she has to get a mammogram. Time to get over that, I think.
Eek, that sounds even worse. If I wanted that, I’d go bra shopping with my mother. I think that for the squeamish, measuring yourself will give good results. You shouldn’t avoid the mammogram, but you probably can avoid the bra fitter if that’s what your wife is afraid of.
Here’s the weird thing about bra sizes, and why umpteen % of women wear the “wrong size” bra. The cup sizes are proportional to the band size. That means that the “B” cup on a 34B bra is smaller than the “B” cup on a 36B bra. This allows you to fudge–if the measurements give you a band size that is way too tight, you can go up a band size and down two cup sizes. However, you don’t want the band to be too loose or the bra will not be supportive enough.
One thing, tell her not to get bullied by a pro - that happened to me. It was the worst fitting, most uncomfortable bra I’ve ever owned. Not even close to “my size” (despite what the lingerie torturer said). The bra has never been worn out of the house - it hurts too much.
But she will have to try on bras, which is how I got the other ones, that do fit.
YMMV. The brands certainly won’t be the same. I’ve tried on bras at Target and never bought one. I personally have had much better luck with mid-priced department stores and up, but I am what the bra lady would call “full figured”.
She might have good luck finding the same bras on the internet, though, and pay a bit less than Nordstrom’s, once she knows what fits.
If your wife is indeed still a B cup, there are tons of bras to choose from.