# Help me increase my carbon footprint **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 28, 2008, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602 "2008-06-28T22:36:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_and_a_Half_Inches_of_Fun)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2008, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/1 "2008-06-28T22:36:16Z")
I would like to increase my carbon footprint, but I do not want to spend a lot money. This rules out a big SUV or a private jet. I could start burning wood in the yard, but I am not sure how much that would do. What is the best way to increase my carbon footprint at a low cost? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2008, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/2 "2008-06-28T22:41:26Z")
Eat lots of baked beans. Cow farts are one of the biggest sources of methane pollution. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2008, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/3 "2008-06-28T22:47:24Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Cow farts are one of the biggest sources of methane pollution. [/QUOTE] Nope, cow belches are. šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2008, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/4 "2008-06-28T22:54:15Z")
[QUOTE=Two and a Half Inches of Fun] I would like to increase my carbon footprint, but I do not want to spend a lot money. This rules out a big SUV or a private jet. I could start burning wood in the yard, but I am not sure how much that would do. What is the best way to increase my carbon footprint at a low cost? [/QUOTE] Use more disposable stuff, like plastic silverware. Buy bottles of water instead of a filter system or using the tap. Use your air conditioner more. If you recycle, stop. Generally, increasing your carbon footprint means consuming more. That will cost you money almost any way you do it. Sorry. ā˜¹ ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2008, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/5 "2008-06-28T23:09:19Z")
Vote Republican. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2008, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/6 "2008-06-28T23:22:16Z")
An add-on to what **Mosier** said: look for maximum packaging. If you are buying tomatoes or spinach, donā€™t buy the loose stuff. Get the pre-washed stuff in a fancy plastic container that you throw away after extracting the food. If you eat cereal, buy three of the smallest size available instead of one big one. Iā€™m not sure, but Iā€™m guessing that eating heavily processed food in general might help. And donā€™t just use that AC, make sure you leave some doors or windows open when you do. Oh, and spend hours in front of the open refrigerator door contemplating what to eat next. Then, look in the freezer and forget to shut the door properly. ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2008, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/7 "2008-06-28T23:29:24Z")
I was hoping this would be one of those ā€œNeed Answer Fast!ā€ sorts of questions, but oh well. Let the air out of your tires until they are just inflated enough to drive on. When buying things online, choose the seller who is furthest from you geographically. Next time you get an oil change, ask for the oil back, then set it on fire. Recycle your plastic by burning it. Leave your oven on at all times. No more preheating! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2008, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/8 "2008-06-28T23:36:52Z")
Make your produce choices based on the greatest distance from point of origin to you. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2008, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/9 "2008-06-28T23:38:23Z")
Step 1: Construct giant carbon boot. Step 2: Wear boot outside in mud. Step 3: Enjoy results. (What? _Somebody_ had to say it.) ---
**Author:** ![Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_and_a_Half_Inches_of_Fun)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2008, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/10 "2008-06-28T23:43:16Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Make your produce choices based on the greatest distance from point of origin to you. [/QUOTE] I like this one. The others seem expensive. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2008, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/11 "2008-06-28T23:55:51Z")
If you donā€™t want to spend extra money, you could just burn all your trash & yard trimmings. Prolly piss off your neighbors and maybe get a visit from the cops, but that should get some extra carbon in the air. If your neighbors and the cops donā€™t care, burn your neighborā€™s trash too. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_and_a_Half_Inches_of_Fun)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2008, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/12 "2008-06-29T00:00:03Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] If you donā€™t want to spend extra money, you could just burn all your trash & yard trimmings. Prolly piss off your neighbors and maybe get a visit from the cops, but that should get some extra carbon in the air. If your neighbors and the cops donā€™t care, burn your neighborā€™s trash too. [/QUOTE] I think I can legally burn leaves. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2008, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/13 "2008-06-29T00:26:06Z")
[QUOTE=Kuboydal] Vote Republican. [/QUOTE] Yes, because all Republicans hate the environment and want us to drink dirty water and breathe dirty air. :rolleyes: Iā€™ll let you in on a little secret about us Republicansā€¦just because we donā€™t want the government to solve a problem doesnā€™t mean weā€™re not interested in a solution. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2008, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/14 "2008-06-29T00:34:19Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] If you donā€™t want to spend extra money, you could just burn all your trash & yard trimmings. [/QUOTE] Just make sure you donā€™t burn any animal carcasses. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2008, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/15 "2008-06-29T01:19:08Z")
Cook all your food over a burning pool of gasoline. Oh, carbon? Maybe a wood burning stove would be better. In any case, you certainly want to chop down and burn every treee you can get your axe on. You get double mileage points for killing trees. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2008, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/16 "2008-06-29T01:23:53Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] Iā€™ll let you in on a little secret about us Republicansā€¦just because we donā€™t want the government to solve a problem doesnā€™t mean weā€™re not interested in a solution. [/QUOTE] They apparently donā€™t have much of a sense of humor, either. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/17 "2008-06-29T01:35:04Z")
Maybe we need faith based carbon initiatives. ---
**Author:** ![Number](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/number/32/242_2.png) [@Number](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Number)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2008, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/18 "2008-06-29T01:57:58Z")
Eat meat, drive as much as you can, and have lots of kids. This last item works the best in the long run, especially if youā€™re American. What other act could you possibly undertake which would consume an entire lifetimeā€™s worth of resources in one go? And you can do it every nine months (more if youā€™re male and non-monogamous). The government may even subsidize your efforts if you canā€™t afford it. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2008, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/19 "2008-06-29T02:08:10Z")
[QUOTE=Kuboydal] Vote Republican. [/QUOTE] Wins thread! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2008, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602/20 "2008-06-29T12:57:58Z")
deletedā€¦not worth it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-increase-my-carbon-footprint/454602.md?page=2)