# Help me learn to relax **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 23, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495 "2010-05-23T20:21:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/1 "2010-05-23T20:21:50Z")
I’m taking my wife on a Florida beach vacation very soon. We’ve rented a house on the beach. On all previous vacations we’ve gone somewhere with the intent of doing ‘something;’ not ‘nothing.’ What do you guys do to pass the time on “do nothing” type of vacations? I really can’t see me just hanging out on a beach and doing. ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/2 "2010-05-23T20:28:03Z")
Books, lots of books. My vacations are more camping and less beach oriented but there are few things better than getting a quiet, shady spot, a good book and a gentle breeze. The whole scene only briefly interrupted by helpful staff asking if I want another tequila sunrise. ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/3 "2010-05-23T20:36:15Z")
Do you have any interest in astronomy? If so, a beach seems a good place with a telescope, given the reduced light pollution. I’m in your boat in that I hate a vacation with nothing to do as a way to relax (who the hell can just lounge for a week?!). Describe your interests and maybe someone will give you a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/4 "2010-05-23T20:47:03Z")
Beer makes me relax. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/5 "2010-05-23T20:47:05Z")
I can sit around for about 4 days (in a similar beach vacation I read 4 complete novels in that time) before I’m clawing the walls with boredom. If literally unable to leave and find amusement I occupy myself cooking elaborate meals. I was snowed in once to a cabin with 4 friends and the leftovers from a fancy New Years dinner. I think my friends all gained a couple of pounds. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/6 "2010-05-23T21:01:02Z")
> [@](#): > > (who the hell can just lounge for a week?!) If you really seek an answer, I can provide one. Me. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/7 "2010-05-23T21:06:12Z")
Romance. Sex. Intricate boxed puzzles. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/8 "2010-05-23T21:07:27Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > If you really seek an answer, I can provide one. > > Me. Seriously! Me too. I’m actually quite good at it! ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/9 "2010-05-23T21:08:50Z")
I last like 30 minutes on the beach before I want to cut my own throat. Even with a book. So my recommendation: rent a motorcycle. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/10 "2010-05-23T23:52:32Z")
Do you have a stress disorder? I recently found out that the reason I have so many stress-related illnesses is because my brain is pumping out adrenaline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. “Relaxing,” to me, means shutting off the adrenaline. For me, this is just changing the way I think and not trying to think of 20 things at the same time. Also, it means not concentrating on things too deeply or trying to see the relationships or constructs underlying things. For example, when I watch a film, because I’m so wired, I’m analyzing at the cinematography, sound, writing, acting, directing, editing, etc. rather than just enjoying the movie. If you can’t do it by yourself, therapists recommend yoga, breathing exercises, and meditation. Here’s a list of stuff I do: 1. Eat slowly, enjoy every bite. Plan for a meal to be 2-3X longer than usual (for me, that means 30 minutes instead of 10 minutes.) I also like to stop halfway through and drink a cup of ice cold water, which washes out my mouth, so I can enjoy the second half of the meal like it was my first. 2. Think about nothing. Stare at a wall. Observe colors. 3. Feel your body relaxing, almost as though you are taking a nap. I spend a lot of time now in a relaxed seated position with my eyes half closed. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/11 "2010-05-24T00:09:33Z")
Look for seashells. Take postcard perfect pictures. Drink mimosas. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/12 "2010-05-24T01:28:28Z")
What I like to do in this kind of sitch is set up a nice place to sit just as the sun as coming up, then set there all day and notice how things change as the sun moves and the light changes and it gets hotter then cooler… I can sit all day and do nothing, every day. It’s one of my favorite things to do: nothing. I dare say I can fuck off better than anyone on the planet. I am a master, a pro, a ninja(!) at fucking off. My fucking off skills are unparalleled. ---
**Author:** ![LegsAkimbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f1d935/32.png) [@LegsAkimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LegsAkimbo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/13 "2010-05-24T01:34:46Z")
I live in Florida and spend a lot of time doing nothing on a beach (well, of course not “nothing,” but I might appear to be doing nothing while I watch the horizon for dolphins to photograph, watch for that crab to reappear out of his hole, and wonder if a digital recording made of the surf would be any better than any that I could buy prerecorded). But all that is neither here nor there. As far as I can tell, there are folks who can sit quietly and gear down to the point of near idleness (i.e. reading) and there are those who, as mentioned above, start to entertain notions of suicide after 30 minutes. And I personally don’t think that either of those types of people will ever be like the other, no matter how hard they may try for marital reasons. If your wife wants to relax and read and watch for dolphins and crabs and listen to the surf, then let her have her vacation. Why don’t you get a skimboard and play with that, or swim, or jog/walk the beach? If you have cell reception and a phone that will do it, tether to a netbook and surf the web while sitting out there. Get a Kindle and read newspapers and magazines. You did mention that you usually plan vacations with built-in excursions or tours or whatever. Hey, maybe you will surprise yourself and be ok with dozing in a chair on the beach. Get a Zen for Dummies book and learn how to live in the moment and experience where you are when you are there. Or there’s always the skimboard idea. It’ll work out. Welcome to Florida (and, as a side note, are you out of your mind coming here when we are **this hot**??? Oh, sorry, that slipped out). ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/14 "2010-05-24T03:42:20Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > I dare say I can fuck off better than anyone on the planet. I am a master, a pro, a ninja(!) at fucking off. My fucking off skills are unparalleled. You’re kind of like the Bizzarro Hulk? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/15 "2010-05-24T05:38:44Z")
Read a book, drink some alcohol, walk along the beach, look for seashells, rub lotion on your wife, imagine shapes in the clouds, play in the surf, look for crabs, build a sand-castle, wiggle your toes in the sand, attempt to boogy-board, lie on your back and focus on the feeling of the sun gently toasting you, people watch. I must say there is nothing to do at the beach. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/16 "2010-05-24T07:15:36Z")
We went to Thailand last year with no plans in particular. We read on the beach, went swimming, took walks, had sex, took naps, tried out a bunch of restaurants and bars, took some local tours (fishing and snorkeling), chatted about nothing, went to go see the sunset in different places, etc. A few summers ago I had a long weekend with a bunch of friends at a lake cabin. We slept, ate, swam, played board games, drank, ate, slept - it was glorious. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-learn-to-relax/540495/17 "2010-05-24T15:01:32Z")
I love the suggestions. I have a nice camera; so photography is definitely in the mix. However if there’s one thing I have gleamed from this is “just go with the flow.” In other words, don’t think of relaxing as something I have to ‘schedule.’ Start off by going to the beach, if I get distracted on the way, so much the better. I suppose the goal for the end result is: Me: “Wow, today sure went by fast.” Not Me: “What did you do?” Me (shrugging shoulders): "I… can’t really… think of anything. "