# Help Me Make An Awesome Sandwhich

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [September 10, 2008, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924 "2008-09-10T11:49:26Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\
**Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/21 "2008-09-10T21:15:23Z")

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Howzabout a Cuban medianoche?

Take a crusty white bun and fill with thinly sliced cooked pork, thinly sliced ham (I prefer something dry cured like a serrano or prosciutto), swiss cheese and pickle. Grill until cheese melts, then eat immediately.

Definitely nom-worthy in my books.

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**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\
**Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/22 "2008-09-10T21:27:56Z")

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> [@Bayard](#):
>
> I have one word for you, young man: horseradish. Not that horseradish sauce stuff. Pure, prepared horseradish.

**Bayard** speaks wisdom. The stuff is nigh mandatory for a roast beef sandwich, and good with nearly any other kind.

Here’s one of my favorite sandwiches:

Start with an onion roll, sliced.  
Spread a small dollop of prepared horseradish on the bottom bun.  
Layer several slices of garlic roast beef, folding each slice in half, so that there are small air gaps in the pile.  
Place a thick slice of medium cheddar on top of the pile of beef.  
Toast the stack and the top of the bun until the cheese melts.  
Add a slice of tomato on top of the cheese.  
Add several whole basil leaves on top of the tomato.  
Spread a touch of ranch/buttermilk or Italian dressing on the top bun and close the stack.

Yum. Now I need to go home and make one.

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**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\
**Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/23 "2008-09-10T22:27:32Z")

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A simple favourite sandwich of mine came from Twin Peaks.

Simply a section of baguette with some butter and some brie. I usually put it under the broiler in the toaster oven for a couple of minute until the brie starts getting nice and melty. Add some fresh ground black pepper and enjoy.

I also like a tortilla with peanut butter and Shriracha.

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**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\
**Post date:** [September 10, 2008, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/24 "2008-09-10T22:29:45Z")

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I’ll give you my two best, slightly unusual sandwiches.

Chicken - Wasabi Sandwich

1 loaf of sourdough bread  
1 bottle of the processed Wasabi  
1 rotisserie chicken (I like a spicy rub on it)  
1/2 lb of provolone

Pull out some of the bread out of the top of the loaf and liberally spread the wasabi (entire tube). Add the provolone next. As you bone the chicken start putting the chunks on top of the cheese (did I mention you want the chicken to be hot) so that it is all melted by the time you’re done deboneing. Eat warm. On a side note for those poor college students out there this makes about 3 full meals and costs about $10.

Ribeye Sandwich

1 roll about the size of the ribeye (I haven’t found a particular one yet)  
1 ribeye (boneless)  
2 Anaheim chilies  
1 romaine lettuce leaf  
Spicy mustard  
Cholula Hot sauce

Grill the ribeye to Med-Rare after flipping it add the chilies butterflied to the top of the steak. Right before pulling the meat add the roll to lightly toast it and put the chilies over direct flame. Let the ribeye cool on top of the roll so the juices go into the roll. On the other half of the roll, add mustard and hot sauce. Once the meat has cooled add lettuce close the sandwich and enjoy. Each sandwich is a full meal with no side dishes.

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**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/25 "2008-09-11T00:58:05Z")

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Try a good old-fashioned Southern **Pimento and Cheese** , with a twist.

The classic filling is grated cheddar cheese (I prefer extra sharp myself), mixed with mayonnaise and diced pimentos to form a semi-creamy spread. Slather a mess of the filling on a piece of bread, sprinkle with red pepper flakes, and top with a thin layer of horseradish and the top piece of bread.

A quick lunch at its finest.

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**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/26 "2008-09-11T01:22:41Z")

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I’ve given this one out before, but I’ll do it again because it’s both tasty and easy:

Peanut butter and bacon.

Get some good thick-sliced pork belly bacon and fry up two or three strips crisp, but not burned.

As the bacon’s sizzling, take two slices of good sandwich bread and slather each piece liberally with creamy peanut butter (Jif is best if you can get it.) As soon as the bacon’s done, break the strips in half and layer on top of one piece of bread. Apply the other piece of bread as a hat.

Eat.

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**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/27 "2008-09-11T01:33:41Z")

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Sourdough bread roll.  
Fill with hamburger, add guacamole and feta cheese.

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**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/28 "2008-09-11T03:08:52Z")

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My version of the Italian Hoagie

Hoagie bun, lightly buttered on the inside and sprinkled with a little garlic powder  
Pepperoni  
Hard Salami  
Cappicola (spicy italian ham)  
Your favorite cheese - I usually use provolone or muenster, and I’ll throw in a little hot pepper cheese if there’s any handy.  
Vidalia onion sliced as thin as possible  
Sliced black olives  
Jalapeno Italian dressing (alternatively you could use crusher red pepper flakes and regular italian).  
Combine ingredients in the order listed. Heat in oven @350 until cheese is melted (about 10 minutes).  
Enjoy

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**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/29 "2008-09-11T03:13:30Z")

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Rye bread  
Roast beef  
Swiss cheese  
Lettuce  
Pickled beets  
Hot horseradish sauce

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**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/30 "2008-09-11T05:04:33Z")

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Oh god, there’s nothing more sublime that a homemade club sandwich.

Fry up some bacon – extra crispy!

Lightly toast two pieces of white bread.

Slather some mayo on one of those slices, don’t be shy.

Add some romaine lettuce. Ice berg lettuce is good too, if you like the crunch.

A nice thick slice of cheddar cheese.

Now, neatly fold in a layer of thinly sliced smoked turkey and ham.

A dash of Oregano doesn’t hurt.

Cut the sandwich diagonally, serve with a garlic dill pickle and some potato chips or cheez-it crackers, and a huge icy glass of Pepsi.

YUMMM.

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**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/31 "2008-09-11T07:49:03Z")

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> [@devilsknew](#):
>
> One of my top 10 favorite sandwiches of all time is a Grouper sandwich. But I’m not sure if grouper is available in the UK\*, which is ok, because any white, meaty, firm, and mild fish closely related to the grouper, or in the sea bass family will substitute fairly well…
> 
> Fairly simple to prepare, one can either dust the sea bass filets with seasoned flour and shallow fry quickly, or [blacken](http://www.bassonhook.com/fishforfood/fishcookingtechniques.html#blackening) the fillet at high heat with a [cajun seasoning](http://generalhorticulture.tamu.edu/prof/recipes/Season/season.html)- I tend to prefer the blackened style of grouper, as I think it lets the fish stand out fresh and basic. Serve it simply on a fresh bun (not bread) with lettuce, tomato, and either mayonaise,[tartar sauce](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tartar_sauce), or a [remoulade](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remoulade).
> 
> One could also possibly include cheese, but I would tend to stay away from it on a fresh grouper sandwich… but if you did, I might go with a milder “white” cheese.
> 
> (\*Cod or Haddock will not do!)

I’d like to try this with a John Dory, **WillASS** , but it might flake to much… possibly a binary.

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**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/32 "2008-09-11T10:00:37Z")

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Damnit! How the hell am I going to choose now!

Ok, I am definitely going to try bacon and peanut butter as it’s got a lot of fans and I have always liked the idea of it (peanut butter is so much more versatile than people think - I make a sandwich of peanut butter, mayo and cucumber sometimes) but I’m unsure of what else to try. I _love_ horseradish so might have to try one of those suggestions and I really like the sound of the ‘Chicken Seizure Sammich’ (very clever name btw!). I’ll pick out my top three and get the ingredients on my way home tonight (I’m home alone so can get away with eating sarnies for dinner!) and get back to you tomorrow.

Thanks for all the responses, I really wasn’t expecting this many!

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/33 "2008-09-11T10:02:38Z")

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> [@Balance](#):
>
> **Bayard** speaks wisdom. The stuff is nigh mandatory for a roast beef sandwich, and good with nearly any other kind.
> 
> Here’s one of my favorite sandwiches:
> 
> Start with an onion roll, sliced.  
> Spread a small dollop of prepared horseradish on the bottom bun.  
> Layer several slices of garlic roast beef, folding each slice in half, so that there are small air gaps in the pile.  
> Place a thick slice of medium cheddar on top of the pile of beef.  
> Toast the stack and the top of the bun until the cheese melts.  
> Add a slice of tomato on top of the cheese.  
> Add several whole basil leaves on top of the tomato.  
> Spread a touch of ranch/buttermilk or Italian dressing on the top bun and close the stack.
> 
> Yum. Now I need to go home and make one.

Ok, this is definitely in!

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/34 "2008-09-11T10:04:02Z")

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> [@Oredigger77](#):
>
> I’ll give you my two best, slightly unusual sandwiches.
> 
> Chicken - Wasabi Sandwich
> 
> 1 loaf of sourdough bread  
> 1 bottle of the processed Wasabi  
> 1 rotisserie chicken (I like a spicy rub on it)  
> 1/2 lb of provolone
> 
> Pull out some of the bread out of the top of the loaf and liberally spread the wasabi (entire tube). Add the provolone next. As you bone the chicken start putting the chunks on top of the cheese (did I mention you want the chicken to be hot) so that it is all melted by the time you’re done deboneing. Eat warm. On a side note for those poor college students out there this makes about 3 full meals and costs about $10.
> 
> Ribeye Sandwich
> 
> 1 roll about the size of the ribeye (I haven’t found a particular one yet)  
> 1 ribeye (boneless)  
> 2 Anaheim chilies  
> 1 romaine lettuce leaf  
> Spicy mustard  
> Cholula Hot sauce
> 
> Grill the ribeye to Med-Rare after flipping it add the chilies butterflied to the top of the steak. Right before pulling the meat add the roll to lightly toast it and put the chilies over direct flame. Let the ribeye cool on top of the roll so the juices go into the roll. On the other half of the roll, add mustard and hot sauce. Once the meat has cooled add lettuce close the sandwich and enjoy. Each sandwich is a full meal with no side dishes.

Unfortunatley out as I can _never_ find provolone and I’m sure I’ve never seen Anaheim chillies. Can you think of any alternatives?

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**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/35 "2008-09-11T11:05:47Z")

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African Tuna, courtesy of the Skylight Exchange bookstore in Chapel Hill, NC:  
-Drain a can of tuna.  
-Crush a clove of garlic into it.  
-Add a liberal squirt of Sriracha.  
-Add a liberal dash of curry powder.  
-Add a dollop of olive oil.  
-Add a dash of salt.  
-Mix it up.  
-Serve it in a tuna melt, or on a sandwich with cucumbers or with peanut butter (no, seriously).

Daniel

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**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/36 "2008-09-11T11:20:23Z")

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Bologna, Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese, and Peanut Butter

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**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/37 "2008-09-11T11:33:05Z")

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I almost made this for breakfast the other day, but chickened out…

White bread  
Pastrami  
fried egg  
It sounds sooooo good (and sooooo bad for you…).

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**Author:** ![Shot\_Clock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Shot\_Clock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_Clock)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/38 "2008-09-11T12:27:40Z")

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My children, please suffer an old man whose lifelong journey for the ultimate sandwich has led him down many a road, through the open lanes of bliss to the dead ends of sadness and despair. I can offer only this tidbit: **"Seek ye not the Awesome Sandwich, for the Awesome Sandwich, if it be true, will find you."**

The contents and character of the Awesome Sandwich cannot be defined by the words of mere mortals; instead, the Awesome Sandwich will take into account the Seeker’s mood, time, tools and available ingredients. There are few hard and fast rules, but I would like to offer some “guardrails” observed by me and others at the Reformed Huguenot Orthodox Temple of Montagu:

[ul]  
[li]A sandwich concept requiring a special, immediate trip to the grocer tends to stifle creativity and invites danger in the form of over-complexity (see: the Law of Diminishing Returns). Garbage smells bad because too many small things lead to one bad thing. [/li][li]No more than seven minutes should elapse between “Gee, I’d like a sandwich” to “Gee, this is a good sandwich”.[/li][li]Should you find yourself drawing layered diagrams of your planned sandwich, or measuring out exact measurements for ingredients, you are overanalyzing the situation.[/li][li]Should you find yourself following a sandwich recipe exactly from The Joy of Cooking, you are being grandiose (and retentive). Thou may seek some guidance, though, from this heretical text.[/li][li]Construction of the Awesome Sandwich itself will involve one tool: a knife. Thou may useth an oven or microwave for heating purposes, if you must. One, and only one, bowl may be used in cases of Extreme Unction (or chicken salad). Approacheth not the stovetop.[/li][li]Catsup, for use on or in conjunction with a sandwich, under all circumstances, is apostasy.[/li][li]Contrary to traditional thinking, you may worship the devil. So long as it is the Underwood Devil. Or Devilled Eggs.[/li][li]To quote Bishop Matthews of Dave, “Make the best of what’s around”.[/li][/ul]

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/39 "2008-09-11T12:34:52Z")

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You know, there’s a recipe for a pretty good sandwich in _Mostly Harmless_. The problem, of course, is the lack of Perfectly Normal Beast on Earth from which to make said sandwich…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2008, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-an-awesome-sandwhich/462924/40 "2008-09-11T16:06:21Z")

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Shredded roast beef and cream cheese. Any bread will do, though firmer is better.

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