# Help me make fun of British food! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 5, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703 "2003-10-05T13:28:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![curly\_chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@curly\_chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curly_chick)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/41 "2003-10-06T15:41:33Z")
**Mangetout** Semolina is the smooth one. I love semolina, tapioca, sago and that macaroni one that no-one in any other school ever seemed to get. I also have an abiding love for blancmange and jelly with custard. Yum. Having said that, though, our dinner ladies were fab and our school dinners were delicious. If you are feeling brave, given your nasty memories of school puds, you might want to splash out and buy a tin oof the Ambrosia semoina in the supermarket, it is quite nice and made even better by a swirl of blackcurrant jam - but still nowhere near as nice as you can make at home. Yes, I definitely belong to the “All these things are delicious if made properly by someone who knows that they are doing and used the proper ingredients” school of thought. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/42 "2003-10-06T16:13:55Z")
Some more silly-name British food (from memory, so expect slight errors) Bangers Jam Rolley Polley Vindaloo Onion Baji Cock-a-leeki Cullen Skink Laver Bread Stargazey Pie Bread and Butter pudding ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/43 "2003-10-06T23:20:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mrsface \* > \*\*Feel free to get started… Coronation Chicken is an abomination. For those of you who’ve never had it, imagine bits of dried up chicken doused in sweetish powdery orange curry sauce, plus sultanas. Oh, and it’s served cold, usually in sandwiches. \*\* That’s a perfect description of every instance of Coronation Chicken I’ve ever seen. If it’s Cordon Bleu cooking, the Cordon Bleu chefs are keeping quiet about it, and I can understand why. Bleurgh. ---
**Author:** ![Matchka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Matchka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Matchka)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/44 "2003-10-06T23:54:35Z")
So…calling food of Scottish, Irish or Welsh origin: ENGLISH wouldn’t quite fit the thread? (Cuz most of the Merkins I know think of the entire UK as “England.” I know…I’m an infidel) ---
**Author:** ![Matchka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Matchka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Matchka)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/45 "2003-10-06T23:56:31Z")
But seriously, as the Brits do have a thing for “pie” have you considered ‘quasi’-British food? Ala “hair pie” ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/46 "2003-10-07T00:04:01Z")
I dunno…I like English food. Hello? ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/47 "2003-10-07T04:59:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*WTF 😕 \*\* There’s an old joke to the effect that airline food is the national cuisine of England. And Altoids are a British invention. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/48 "2003-10-07T05:25:15Z")
Ah, if semi-confectionery like ALtoiids can be included…well, there is always **Fisherman’s Friends"** too. [http://www.fishermansfriend.com/](http://www.fishermansfriend.com/) ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/49 "2003-10-07T06:43:09Z")
I went to the source document for Coronation Chicken, _The constance Spry Cookbook_ by CS and Rosemary Hume who later went on to run the Cordon Bleu and co-author their eponymous books with Muriel Downes. I’m buggered if I’m typing the whole thing out but basically you poach your young roasting chicken in water and wine with carrot and a bouquet garni, salt and pepper. You serve it in an oblong dish with cream of curry sauce. Cream of curry sauce comprises onion, curry powder, tomato puree, red wine, bay leaf, salt, sugar, pepper, a slice or two of lemon, lemon juice, 1-2 tbsp apricot puree, 3/4 pint mayonnaise, 2-3 tbsp whipped cream. This is an admirable sauce to serve with iced lobster. On the next page is a truly ghastly concoction called Fruit Curry which involves tinned fruit. The next recipe is Banana and Melon Curry Winkfield. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/50 "2003-10-07T07:57:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Krokodil \* > \*\*There’s an old joke to the effect that airline food is the national cuisine of England. And Altoids are a British invention. \*\* I wasn’t aware of that joke. I’ve seen Altoids on sale, but only ever in the US. Now I seem to recall they market themselves as British. _Googles_ [Well I never.](http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altoids) They are. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Matchka_ > **Ala "hair pie"** Some British people are also quite partial to “fur burger”. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/51 "2003-10-07T09:40:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Some British people are also quite partial to “fur burger”. \*\* “Fur Burger”??? Wow! That’s great! Are you making that up? That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m looking for! (About halfway down the page I posted again to explain my original intent in starting this thread) Thanks, jjimm, for posting the Gold! Is it really real? What is it? ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/52 "2003-10-07T09:42:22Z")
Um…someone else explain that one. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/53 "2003-10-07T09:47:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bienville \* > \*\*“Fur Burger”??? Wow! That’s great! Are you making that up? That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m looking for! (About halfway down the page I posted again to explain my original intent in starting this thread) Thanks, jjimm, for posting the Gold! Is it really real? What is it? \*\* I’m really sorry to shatter your illusions: eating “hair pie” and “fur burger” are both comedy euphemisms for cunnilingus. Though perhaps that might get a belly laugh from any Brits in your audience… ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/54 "2003-10-07T10:54:29Z")
Though if that’s the sort of thing you’re after, you may like to be aware that “kipper” is sometimes used as a dyphemism for “vagina”. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703/55 "2003-10-07T11:19:36Z")
As is “badly packed kebab”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-fun-of-british-food/205703.md?page=2)