# Help me make it through the night... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249 "2003-06-30T00:09:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/21 "2003-06-30T01:44:44Z")
I dunno…I guess it’s fun watching the lads having a little visit. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![green\_dragon\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/13edae/32.png) [@green\_dragon\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_dragon_1)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/22 "2003-06-30T01:47:09Z")
Seeing as you’re here **Lola** , got any words of wisdom you feel inclined to share? ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/23 "2003-06-30T01:51:51Z")
Regarding your break-up? Definitely DO NOT DRINK! I think it is important to feel everything you’re feeling, otherwise you’re just delaying it. Try to occupy your mind with other things - call friends and get it out of your system. Be kind to yourself. Do not be self-destructive. And I know it’s cliche, but only time will make the pain go away, and I promise it will. Little by little each day until you think back and say to yourself - why the heck was I so upset over that person!?! Trust me. You’ll see. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![green\_dragon\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/13edae/32.png) [@green\_dragon\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_dragon_1)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/24 "2003-06-30T01:54:27Z")
Right now, I’m spending some quality time with my cat - very peaceful. Somehow hard to stay all angry and upset with a purring ball of fur about the place 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/25 "2003-06-30T01:55:42Z")
Personally, when I’m down, I turn to violently depressing music. And I don’t mean that wimpy self-pity stuff, I mean existential angst in its rawest form. Put some Neutral Milk Hotel on headphones, at full volume, and lie on the floor immobile until the album ends. And you’ll know that, no matter how badly life sucks, you’ll never, ever be as depressed as that band. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/26 "2003-06-30T01:56:02Z")
Awwww! 😛 Good for you! And what you’re doing right here - getting it out of your system will help, too! ---
**Author:** ![green\_dragon\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/13edae/32.png) [@green\_dragon\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_dragon_1)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/27 "2003-06-30T02:00:30Z")
The thing is that I don’t want to get all weak-willed and mushy should she decide that actually she DOES want me back - the whole breakup get back together thing has happened a few time too often now and I really want this to be the end. Just gotta be strong, and to be honest it’s the feelings of weakness creeping up on me that’s giving me the most trouble at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/28 "2003-06-30T02:15:06Z")
The last time I broke up with someone who was wrong for me, I sat down that night and wrote myself a letter, explaining in detail exactly _why_ they were wrong for me. I later referred to that letter in moments of weakness. I found it helped enormously. ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/29 "2003-06-30T03:33:04Z")
The problem with going back in a situation like that is you’re going back to the familiarity and the comfort and not really the person. If the person isn’t right (and it sounds like you’ve already decided that), then she’s not going to be any more right if you go back. And that prevents you from moving ahead to a point where you’re comfortable just by yourself (which isn’t a bad thing) and then can be more objective about another relationship and what you really want to look for in something new. Try to focus on what you learned from this relationship; what you liked in the person and what you didn’t feel you could live with on a long term basis. Was there anything you would do differently in the future? Focus forward and look to all the possiblities ahead. And then break some bricks. 😉 Good strength to you, **green\_dragon** , and a side order of sympathy with your chips (hold the ass-mayo) ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/30 "2003-06-30T04:10:18Z")
Here’s to good times—I’m having a margarita with Midoiri for you. Anything for a fellow Doper! ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/31 "2003-06-30T04:27:21Z")
green\_dragon, I feel your pain. My boyfriend and I have been going through some personal hell, and it’s been draining on me. In the past 3 days, I don’t think I’ve eaten enough food to constitite as one full meal. Today was great though, and thats how it goes. You gotta take the good days with the bad. And kudos to you for not drinking - It can be a great way to relax and unwind, but it’s definitely not for everyone. Just keep it up, you’re doing great! Just remember, if ever you need a friend you have some 30,000 odd people who’re looking out for you right here! ---
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/32 "2003-06-30T16:31:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by roadkiller \* > \*\*Just remember, if ever you need a friend you have some 30,000 odd people who’re looking out for you right here! \*\* You can count me as one of those **odd** people. 😃 As my mentor always says ‘Keep your stick on the ice’ I have no idea what it means but it sounds like good advice. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Plankspanker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Plankspanker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plankspanker)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/33 "2003-06-30T16:59:18Z")
oh man, i feel ya **Green Dragon**. i got messed about by a girl just after we split from uni (i’m up at UEA), and it just totally ruined my summer (or had seemed to). but i mean i beat the shit out of the wall (it won), then went out with my friends down the pub for a pub quiz, and i felt enourmously better. dude, the secret is just to keep busy. i mean, i’ve just built (yet) another computer into an interesting item and i’m about to attempt to write software for it. 😃 it’s a harsh world man, but there’ll be someone else for ya… ---
**Author:** ![green\_dragon\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/13edae/32.png) [@green\_dragon\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_dragon_1)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/34 "2003-06-30T22:43:48Z")
I feel asleep, just want to say a big thankyou to all the people who’ve chimed in with support and sympathy, the world is a little less painful today - I’m keeping myself busy and surrounded by friends which is staving away all the nasty feelings 🙂 Again thanks, sometimes it’s just nice to have a tangible reminder that you’re not the only one feeling, or who has ever felt, this way. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/35 "2003-06-30T23:07:08Z")
There’s nothing like the relief that 400 rounds of ammo provides. Yeah, I’m serious. I go “plinking” when I’m all sorts of pissed off. Pick a sunny day on the weekend, go out to the range. Smell the grass. The earthy smell of the mud between you and the target. The wind rustling through your hair. You line up your empty ‘tin soldiers’, pick up your rifle, aim, and ‘plink’! One down. That acrid smell of spent gunpowder. . . . mmmmm. And trust me. A day on the range beats that golfing crap, hands down.[sub]Hit a ball, chase a ball, hit a ball, chase a ball. . . it’s fucking “fetch” for people.[/sub] Tripler No, I’m not psycho. I just like the outdoors. ---
**Author:** ![green\_dragon\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/13edae/32.png) [@green\_dragon\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_dragon_1)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/36 "2003-07-01T00:49:53Z")
I prefer the more…close quarters approach. Went down the dojo today and punched the bag till my knuckles bled. Felt better and with sore knuckles. Fair trade as far as I’m concerned! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249/37 "2003-07-01T00:51:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by green\_dragon \* > \*\*I Went down the dojo today and punched the bag till my knuckles bled. Felt better and with sore knuckles. Fair trade as far as I’m concerned! \*\* Yes, but how does the _bag_ feel? 😃 Tripler At least I know my empty cans are dead. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-it-through-the-night/185249.md?page=1)