# Help me make sense of this bizarre list. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 13, 2002, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583 "2002-12-13T19:09:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Drew\_Blade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/958977/32.png) [@Drew\_Blade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drew_Blade)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/1 "2002-12-13T19:09:41Z")
A week or so ago I was sorting through some papers and came upon this list. I can make no sense of it. It is in my own handwriting, but I have no memory of writing it. It is written on paper I have had easy access to for at least 10 years, but it was among other papers that are no more than a couple years old. It is extremely puzzling to me that I can’t remember anything about it—I am generally very good about understanding strange things I have written. That said, nothing on the list can be taken at face value. If I write myself a note today to help me remember to do something tomorrow, I seldom write what I mean. For instance, if I want to buy dental floss, I will write something like “fleiss”; if I want to remember milk I will write “juice”. I do understand that all Dopers are not necessarily time-traveling-mind-readers, so I do not expect anyone to give me a comprehensive and internally consistent explanation for this list. I also know that Dopers are imaginative and creative, and few challenges remain unmet. So I am asking for your best explanations for this list—individual items, any connections, overall purpose, and so on. If I can’t make real sense of the list, at least I can make fun of/with it—with your help, of course. Pencil parts Trash bag potato chip Dish soap DVD player Big fat liar Cow Hooker Peanut butter Sleeping bag 2 piece swimsuit Science fiction Shark screaming frenzy mental retardation curfew Violalions The last item, “curfew Violalions” is written slightly above a crossed-out item that reads (as close as I can tell) “frothing at th”. I have typed the list as accurately as I can, keeping all instances of capital letters and misspellings. I will be unable to check and/or respond to replies for 18-24 hours, but please don’t let that put a damper on your speculations. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/2 "2002-12-13T19:28:34Z")
Well, the last two have a rhythm to them, could you have been trying to come up with song lyrics? ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/3 "2002-12-13T19:38:40Z")
Some word game? Charades answers? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/4 "2002-12-13T19:43:15Z")
Looks like a Christmas wish list to me. ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/5 "2002-12-13T19:52:07Z")
Well, I don’t know what the original context of these items was, but after reading it four or five times I’ve discovered that they make sazzy substitute lyrics for REM’s "It’s The End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine). _Pencil parts Trash bag potato chip Dish soap 2 piece swimsuit **Leonard Bernstein** _ ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/6 "2002-12-13T19:57:53Z")
DVD player Big fat liar Cow Hooker OK, you want to buy a DVD player and the first three movies you are going to get are, “Big Fat Liar”, “Me, Myself, & Irene” and “Pretty Woman”. No offense dude but you have lousy tastes in movies. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/7 "2002-12-13T20:10:20Z")
Sounds like the kind of list I’d use for a memory trick I know how to do. I can memorize up to 20 unrelated nouns. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/8 "2002-12-13T20:25:47Z")
Most of those sound like thread titles. ---
**Author:** ![malaka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@malaka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malaka)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/9 "2002-12-13T20:38:33Z")
\ Hi… ummm… let me have some of those porno magazines… large box of condoms… a couple of those panty shields [quickly] and some illegal fireworks [back to normal] and one of those disposable enemas. Ehhh… make it two. \ I don’t know what you have planned tonight, but count me out. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/10 "2002-12-13T20:42:57Z")
Maybe it’s a combination packing list/to do list for your lost weekend road trip to Des Moines? ---
**Author:** ![deathawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@deathawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deathawk)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/11 "2002-12-13T21:07:27Z")
Obviously its your itinerary for a few days: After fininshing this list, put the **Pencil parts** in a **Trash bag**. Then have some **potato chip** s. Remember to wash hands with **Dish soap** when finished. Then rent a movie to watch on new **DVD player**. Get that one starring the **Big fat liar** , you know, the one that looks like a **Cow** and dresses like a **Hooker**. For dinner, have some tasty **Peanut butter** and then go to sleep in the ratty old **Sleeping bag**. Tomorrow, put on a **2 piece swimsuit** , go to the beach and read a **Science fiction** story about a **Shark**. In the afternoon, go into a **screaming frenzy** about **mental retardation**. Since this is an NFL training camp, make sure I don’t commit any **curfew Violalions**. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/12 "2002-12-13T22:02:27Z")
Sounds like a recipe for a rockin’ bachelor party to me. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/13 "2002-12-13T22:09:30Z")
It’s obvious. You were trying to find a name for that band you and the guys were going to form, but never got around to. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/14 "2002-12-13T22:35:17Z")
I don’t know about the rest of the list, but it’s very clear to me that the first item, in the spirit of “floss” -\> “fleiss,” is actually intended to read “penis pants.” ---
**Author:** ![ralphthemuppet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@ralphthemuppet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralphthemuppet)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/15 "2002-12-13T22:40:08Z")
No, no, no **deathawk** I think you’ll find that… **SFSG** was smuggling illegal lead into the country using **Pencil parts** with the plan being, if discovered, to stash them in the nearest **Trash bag**. However, one slightly rotten **potato chip** had certain hallucinogenic properties (found in one of the trash bags) had them believing that **Dish soap** was a truth serum. Meanwhile, the **DVD player** that the authorities had found lead them to believe that a **Big fat liar** had started masquerading as Ermintrude the **Cow** down at the Docks. Back to **SFSG** …things were getting worse. Having been arrested and interrogated by TJ **Hooker** , who was covered in **peanut butter** , while wrapped in a **sleeping bag** and wearing nothing but a **2 piece swimsuit** [[my apologies to all Dopers who have just conjured that image in their minds]], suddenly the superhero known as **Shark** appeared and in a **screaming frenzy** bit off TJ’s head. When the dish soap (and the potato chip) wore off you can imagine that a trip to the shrink was foremost on **SFSG**'s mind but obviously that’s a little difficult when you have to observe **curfew Violalions**. Obviously :smack: ---
**Author:** ![ralphthemuppet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@ralphthemuppet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralphthemuppet)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/16 "2002-12-13T22:42:03Z")
the **mental retardation** is reserved for me… ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/17 "2002-12-13T22:46:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amp \* > \*\*DVD player > Big fat liar > Cow > Hooker > > OK, you want to buy a DVD player and the first three movies you are going to get are, “Big Fat Liar”, “Me, Myself, & Irene” and “Pretty Woman”. > > No offense dude but you have lousy tastes in movies. \*\* OK, I have to know how you made the Me, Myself and Irene connection from the word Cow. This is freaking me out not only because I made the same connection, but I never saw the movie! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/18 "2002-12-13T23:08:20Z")
\ “Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.” \ ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/19 "2002-12-13T23:24:56Z")
Lets see here…If I just rearrange some of the letters here…hmmmm **So Far So Good** is actually **Jack the Ripper**! Well, at least we can let Lewis Carroll off the hook… ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583/20 "2002-12-14T00:16:52Z")
Me Myself and Irene: I haven’t seen it either but I associate it with cows too. Maybe there was one on the poster. WTF are Pencil Parts?😕 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-make-sense-of-this-bizarre-list/142583.md?page=2)