# Help me music-ize my wedding? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 13, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607 "2005-01-13T22:16:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/1 "2005-01-13T22:16:28Z")
A while back I asked for some help picking a reading for my wedding, and y’all were so incredibly helpful that I’m going to try again. I have two songs I’m struggling to find, and one that I have a question on: 1. I’ll start with my question. My dad picked the theme from the movie Somewhere in Time for our dance together, and I love it for a million and one reasons. Well, four. First, I love that he picked it. Second, I know he thinks it’s a really beautiful song, and I love that he wants to dance with me to it on my wedding day. Third, I also think it’s really pretty. Yay! And fourth, because it’s instrumental and therefore not father-daughter specific (I know words were added later on which are really not appropriate but mostly you only ever hear the non-lyric version), my new husband can dance with his mom at the same time, which is something we were hoping for. My question, for those of you who know it, is that it seems to me like the kind of song you would need to really dance all fancy-like to, all sweeping around the room dramatically and stuff, and Dad and I will for sure be doing the regular-we-can’t-dance-to-save-our-lives dance with one arm around my waist and my hand on his shoulder and swaying like we have any rhythm whatsoever, do you think it would be silly? 1. Our first dance is a bit of a problem. See, we know what we like when we hear it, but couldn’t really list songs or genres even to give you much of an example (which is sad for me to say, since I was actually a music major at university). We really dislike Richard Marx style ballads, country, and most of the new diva pop (Hillary Duff, Jessica Simpson, Britney, etc) We’d prefer something not brand new, since we both find we fall in love with songs and then in 5 years or so we look back on half of them and are disgusted with ourselves for liking such crap, so would rather it was something from no later than 2000, to ensure that it wasn’t just a flavour of the month for us. He’s a bit pickier than me, but overall we like old-school Jazz a la Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong, and a lot of top 40 style 80s - 90s stuff, and I like a fair bit of 70s and 80s metal, but we’ve also considered some Sarah McLachlin. A lot of our friends have used U2 and REM, which would be ok I guess but for one thing we don’t wanna be copy-cats, and also it’s a little bit _too_ top 40 for us. Any thoughts? 2. Our toughest issue: My deliciously wonderful 16 year old cousin has offered to sing a song at our ceremony, which will be a totally secular outside thing. The problem is, she refuses to sing anything that she considers “old people music” which seems to be anything from before 2000. Her suggestions so far have been “Take My Breath Away” by Jessica Simpson (heh, we didn’t let on to her that that’s really “old people” music) and “A Moment Like This” by Kelly Clarkson. We would have actually been really into “Take My Breath Away”, but the part in the lyrics where it says “Through the hourglass I saw you, In time you slipped away” just really didn’t seem right. We suggested “What a Wonderful World” hoping that its inherent coolness would override its oldness but no, it’s not only “old people” music, it’s also apparently “creepy”. So we’re sort of at a standstill. She hates Hillary Duff, so I can’t even assume that she’ll sing anything by a blonde teenager, and I’m not sure what else to suggest. I’m hoping someone can mention another old classic that’s been recently covered by someone like Jessica Simpson? ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2005, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/2 "2005-01-13T22:31:24Z")
1. No, it doesn’t sound silly. Everybody’s going to be too busy dabbing their eyes and cooing “Isn’t that _sweet_?” to really pay much attention to the style in which you’re dancing. So you’re set there. 🙂 2. If you like Ella, may I suggest “Too Marvelous For Words”? Really sweet and romantic, without being saccharine. It’s a really great song. 3. This is a little tougher. It seems to me like you should have greater control over what music gets sung at your wedding. I know she’s your cousin, but in my opinion, she should be willing (within reason, of course) to sing anything you want (within her abilities). I don’t have a recommendation for something she’d find acceptable, though. That _is_ a tough one. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/3 "2005-01-13T22:51:45Z")
> [@Elret](#): > > We would have actually been really into “Take My Breath Away”, but the part in the lyrics where it says “Through the hourglass I saw you, In time you slipped away” just really didn’t seem right. Just change that line so it’s more appropriate, such as “And now you’re here to stay” or something more imaginative. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2005, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/4 "2005-01-13T23:07:46Z")
#2 - Etta James “At Last”? Nice versions also done by Lou Rawls/Diana Reeves and believe it or not, Cyndi Lauper, too. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/5 "2005-01-14T00:02:18Z")
> [@Elret](#): > > My question, for those of you who know it, is that it seems to me like the kind of song you would need to really dance all fancy-like to, all sweeping around the room dramatically and stuff, and Dad and I will for sure be doing the regular-we-can’t-dance-to-save-our-lives dance with one arm around my waist and my hand on his shoulder and swaying like we have any rhythm whatsoever, do you think it would be silly? I don’t know that song, and no I also don’t think it would be silly, but it also occurred to me what a sweet thing it would be for a father and daughter to show up at a dancing class or two for the sole purpose of looking good for their dance at her wedding. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/6 "2005-01-14T00:20:03Z")
> [@LifeOnWry](#): > > #2 - Etta James “At Last”? Nice versions also done by Lou Rawls/Diana Reeves and believe it or not, Cyndi Lauper, too. Oh, yeah! That’s the one I came in here to suggest. **Zyada** and I will be using it for the walk down the aisle! Didn’t it come back to get a lot of air play sometime later than 2000? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/7 "2005-01-14T00:20:19Z")
As a minor suggestion, don’t put “Havin’ My Baby” on the playlist. Unless, of course, someone is actually having a baby. ---
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/8 "2005-01-14T12:42:54Z")
Thanks for all the suggestions, everyone! There’s a few ideas there I like a lot!! I’d love to take dancing lessons with my daddy, but we really live too far apart to make it really work. And Bryan, please stay away from my fiance… he’s already suggested “It’s my Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To” and I don’t need you givin’ him more ideas! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![auliya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/90db22/32.png) [@auliya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auliya)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/9 "2005-01-14T13:01:01Z")
I am listening to Mark Knopfler’s “Shangri La” from the album of the same name at the moment, thinking that this would be a popular wedding type song - and lo and behold you post appears. If you like Dire Straits you would like this, it is slow and beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![ryanbobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ryanbobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryanbobo)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/10 "2005-01-14T15:04:14Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Elret** > My question, for those of you who know it, is that it seems to me like the kind of song you would need to really dance all fancy-like to, all sweeping around the room dramatically and stuff, and Dad and I will for sure be doing the regular-we-can’t-dance-to-save-our-lives dance with one arm around my waist and my hand on his shoulder and swaying like we have any rhythm whatsoever, do you think it would be silly? Actually just standing there and swaying is how you would dance to that song (if it’s the John Barry tune I found on Amazon). Dance lessons wouldn’t help, because there’s no ballrom dance that goes with that kind of music. So sway away! And have fun. ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/11 "2005-01-14T15:45:53Z")
We danced to Marc Cohn’s “True Companion” Probably a little cliche, but it’s nice. As for your cousin, how about “From this moment” by Shania Twain? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/12 "2005-01-14T16:27:31Z")
> [@Elret](#): > > I’d love to take dancing lessons with my daddy, but we really live too far apart to make it really work. So you go with fiance and Dad goes with Mom 😃 These two friends of mine got married in January of last year and most of the “gang” signed up for dancing classes, I wasn’t able to but all the couples have stayed because they found out they really enjoy it; the singles like the dancing but hate it when people try to set them up. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/13 "2005-01-14T16:38:09Z")
> [@LindyHopper](#): > > 1. This is a little tougher. It seems to me like you should have greater control over what music gets sung at your wedding. I know she’s your cousin, but in my opinion, she should be willing (within reason, of course) to sing anything you want (within her abilities). I don’t have a recommendation for something she’d find acceptable, though. That _is_ a tough one. Good luck! Lindyhopper is being very kind. I think your cousin is being unbelievably rude and inconsiderate by making such an “offer” than holding all these unreasonable (and rather stupid) conditions. It’s your wedding–if she can’t (or won’t) sing a song that you want, she should just take a flying leap. Being forced to select from a craptastic playlist on her terms is not something you should be compelled to do. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/14 "2005-01-14T18:18:34Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > Lindyhopper is being very kind. I think your cousin is being unbelievably rude and inconsiderate by making such an “offer” than holding all these unreasonable (and rather stupid) conditions. > > It’s your wedding–if she can’t (or won’t) sing a song that you want, she should just take a flying leap. Being forced to select from a craptastic playlist on her terms is not something you should be compelled to do. Well, yeah, I was being kind. I agree with you. I dunno…something about the way she said “deliciously wonderful” to describe her cousin made me think I should tone down my rhetoric a little. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/15 "2005-01-14T18:36:55Z")
Our first dance was to Glenn Miller’s “Moonlight Serenade.” You can’t go wrong with the classics. It’s a pity you don’t like country music, because I’ve long thought that Willie Nelson’s “I’ll Love You All Over The World” would be a great wedding song. Two friends did their first dance to Lyle Lovett’s “I Love Everybody (Especially You),” which was sweet. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/16 "2005-01-14T23:16:31Z")
> [@Elret](#): > > And Bryan, please stay away from my fiance… he’s already suggested “It’s my Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To” and I don’t need you givin’ him more ideas! 🙂 Follow it up with “Judy’s Turn To Cry” and you have the song cycle AND a happy ending. And an assault charge for your fiance if life imitates art, but what’s a wedding reception without the cops? BTW, your cousin’s right. “Wonderful World” is creepy. **Life On Wry** , my wife would add Christina Aguillera to that list of surprisingly good “At Lasts” but that was the point at which I stopped trusting her taste in ANYTHING. Anyway, it’s Etta James or it’s nobody. I’d offer a suggestion or two but I don’t know any happy songs. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/17 "2005-01-15T04:02:55Z")
Tell your cousin it’s YOUR wedding, and you get to pick the music, not her. Tell her to grow up-“old people’s music” indeed! But if you really want her to sing, what about Sarah McLachlan’s “Push”? ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/18 "2005-01-15T07:26:40Z")
As for dancing with your dad, relax! No one is going to expect you or him to do great ballroom dancing on the big day. They just want to see a father delighting in his daughter’s joy. The best gift that you can give to your father on that day is just to “follow his lead.” It will work out just fine. That is a _beautiful_ choice, btw! Time to let this be a learning experience for your cousin. Let her know how dear she is to you and how much you appreciate her willingness to contribute to your day. Then remind her that weddings _are_ for old people too, but especially for the bride and groom and their tastes. Give her a choice of songs to choose from. If she gets whiney, let her know that she really doesn’t have to go to all the trouble for you. The first song that came to mind was also Etta James and _At Last_. There’s another old one that Johnny Mathis did that is nice called “That’s All.” Good lyrics for a wedding day. Have fun! Welcome to THE GREAT ROLLERCOASTER! ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-music-ize-my-wedding/284607/19 "2005-01-15T07:35:49Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > **Life On Wry** , my wife would add Christina Aguillera to that list of surprisingly good “At Lasts” but that was the point at which I stopped trusting her taste in ANYTHING. Anyway, it’s Etta James or it’s nobody. **dropzone** darlin’, YOU know and _I_ know that Etta’s version is the bestest, but some people ain’t got no taste.