# Help me name my corn snake **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 1, 2000, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222 "2000-07-01T00:28:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/1 "2000-07-01T00:28:32Z")
Howdy gang. I just got back from a pet store (“specializing in reptiles”) and am the proud owner of a 6-month-old male corn snake. I bought him with the excuse he’d be a great classroom pet–and he will be–but fact is, I like snakes. A lot. I had a ball python in college, and though I love that species, corns are better “beginner” snakes, and thus better for the classroom. Anywho…he needs a name. Now, nothing too adult-literary or obscure; my students are 5th graders for whom English is a second language. I’ve thought of Nixon, and then Clinton (after all, they’re both snakes, aren’t they?), and have been calling him Slither. But…y’all are a pretty creative lot, and so I thought I’d turn to you for further ideas. 🙂 **What he looks like:** He is approximately 20" long and the diameter of a Sharpie marker (can you tell I’m a teacher?), but will be roughly 5’-6’ long as an adult and the diameter of a half dollar. He is the “normal” color variety–a bright mixture of red, orange, yellow, and black, with a white underbelly. A picture of this color variety can be found here: [http://www.planetpets.simplenet.com/cornsnak.htm](http://www.planetpets.simplenet.com/cornsnak.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/2 "2000-07-01T00:34:18Z")
Conan the Constrictor ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/3 "2000-07-01T00:45:18Z")
**Cob**!He’s the same color as Indian corn, sorta! Veb ---
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/4 "2000-07-01T00:52:26Z")
Will you take it to school to show the kids? Sammy the snake would do, then. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/5 "2000-07-01T00:53:57Z")
Maizeur. Sort of a combination of Maize and Monsieur - Mr. Corn. Too hard for the kids? ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/6 "2000-07-01T01:01:46Z")
Looks like I got in here quick enough to be the first to suggest **Cornelius**. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/7 "2000-07-01T01:27:43Z")
John Barleycorn 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/8 "2000-07-01T01:35:51Z")
So far, I’m really liking Cornelius. (It’ll remind me constantly of _Planet of the Apes_, but the kids will have no idea.) What else yah guys got? 🙂 Sunbear–I won’t be taking him to school to show the kids; he will be living in the classroom _with_ the kids. I’ve had rats for the last three years, but they’re stinky, neurotic, and a little too clever for their own good–every one of them found new ways to escape their cage. Now, I have something that will _eat_ rats. MWAH HAH HAH! ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/9 "2000-07-01T01:49:46Z")
i say you name him spot and teach him how to fetch sticks. or other snakes. or you could name him leopard. or arthur dent, but then again, that’d go over their heads. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/10 "2000-07-01T02:47:36Z")
How about **Fritter** (as in “corn fritter”)? (Although I like Cornelius too. Good movie.) ---
**Author:** ![monkeylucifer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@monkeylucifer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monkeylucifer)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/11 "2000-07-01T03:04:55Z")
Skillet Biter Tornado Jones Lex Headgear Automatic Toenail Clamp Cheese Doodle Dandy Shemp Pete Monkey-foot Laxative The Head Waiter Henry Winkler Peanut Shrimp Lasertronic Bastard Fish Umberto Those are just a few off the top of my head…I can come up with more if any of those won’t work. (…now where did I put that pipe???..short-term memory loss my ass) ---
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/12 "2000-07-01T03:40:26Z")
Rats! Get rid of them, put Corny in there right away. ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/13 "2000-07-01T03:43:43Z")
Cornfire?? ChiefSnake?? Torgo?? ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/14 "2000-07-01T03:49:47Z")
I like Polenta. Of course, Maize is appealing too… \ “We call it maize!” \ ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/15 "2000-07-01T03:50:50Z")
The Colonel. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/16 "2000-07-01T03:50:53Z")
**Niblet** The chicks’ll dig that name! Or BlueCorny. ---
**Author:** ![jamshid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecd19e/32.png) [@jamshid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jamshid)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/17 "2000-07-01T03:54:44Z")
Not that anyone here has ever had a problem with Windows, but… Kernel32 ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/18 "2000-07-01T04:43:06Z")
Blue. Just because he’s not. Blue, that is. ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/19 "2000-07-01T05:00:46Z")
I suggest you name the snake “Lawyer.” ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2000, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222/20 "2000-07-01T05:12:56Z")
Tastes Like Chicken? You could call him Nuggets for short… Oh, never mind 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-corn-snake/24222.md?page=2)