# Help Me Name My Hospital Coffee Shop **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 6, 2018, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961 "2018-01-06T02:11:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/61 "2018-01-08T02:50:06Z")
The C-Section The Caffeinated Fetus Quickening Coffee The Birthing Barista Caffterbirth Yeah, don’t go with any of these… ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/62 "2018-01-08T03:10:08Z")
Caffegen. A combo of caffeine and estrogen. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/63 "2018-01-08T03:12:35Z")
Apart from my own brilliant suggestions, my favourite so far is: > [@Alessan](#): > > You Look Like You Need Some Coffee It really suits the situation most visitors and patients will encounter better than anything else. Maybe it needs to be pithier, but if it was me, this would be top of my list. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/64 "2018-01-08T05:45:33Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > The C-Section > The Caffeinated Fetus > Quickening Coffee > The Birthing Barista > Caffterbirth > > Yeah, don’t go with any of these… I think caffterbirth wins. Brewcentia? Umbilical cup? ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/65 "2018-01-08T05:52:52Z")
Umbilicup! (I like the C-Section, actually) ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/66 "2018-01-08T06:07:41Z")
Labor cuplications? Birth decaffts? ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/67 "2018-01-08T06:12:46Z")
New parent jitters ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/68 "2018-01-08T06:16:30Z")
Coff-medicine. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/69 "2018-01-08T06:23:48Z")
Turn Your Head and Coffee ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/70 "2018-01-08T11:19:42Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > The Daily Grind Not in a maternity hospital, surely? ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/71 "2018-01-08T11:33:16Z")
Superior Vena Java Snackstetrics and Javacology ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/72 "2018-01-08T14:34:53Z")
I just knew I’d get some great sugestions here! And also some good advice about what names to avoid. I was thinking of “Grand Grounds”, myself. It’s not my coffee shop. I’m an employee at the hospital and management announced they will be constructing a coffee-specific area that is separate from the cafeteria and also the gift shop, and asked for suggestions about what to call it. They didn’t say if it will be a full service shop or just a little place. It would help to know more. Anyway, I enjoyed all the suggestions. Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2018, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/73 "2018-01-08T22:20:55Z")
The Buzz Ward. Maybe it will go viral. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2018, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/74 "2018-01-09T00:13:46Z")
I think ‘Coffee’ or ‘Café’ should be in the name, as a practical thing. (‘Joe’ and ‘Java’ might be less clear.) Or if not, there should be a big sign saying simply ‘Coffee’ or ‘Café.’ I like having something like ‘Respite’ in the name, but I think the best I’ve come up with is… Hospitable Coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2018, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/75 "2018-01-09T07:45:37Z")
The petri pot. Now 100% staphylococcus free! ---
**Author:** ![pdhenry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pdhenry/32/5561_2.png) [@pdhenry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pdhenry)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2018, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/76 "2018-01-09T11:11:11Z")
Coffee stat. Or coffeestat. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2018, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/77 "2018-01-09T12:33:48Z")
Is there a limit to the number of names you can submit? If not, just take the ten best you see here and submit them. If you can submit only one name just use mine, of course. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2018, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/78 "2018-01-09T16:01:54Z")
Hospital 'Fees Gwyneth Paltrow Says This Stuff is a Great Enema ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2018, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961/79 "2018-01-10T01:42:02Z")
“Do you wanna come back to my place for some COFFEE, oh shit now look where we are.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-hospital-coffee-shop/805961.md?page=3)