# Help Me Name My Penis **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2003, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284 "2003-06-03T02:03:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/41 "2003-06-03T21:03:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by An Arky \* > \*\ ***Venus** \*\* you rang? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![caffeine\_overdose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85e7bf/32.png) [@caffeine\_overdose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caffeine_overdose)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/42 "2003-06-03T21:23:55Z")
My girlfriend named my penis Yossi for two reasons. It is the hebrew version of my middle name, and she thought it only appropriate that it have a name I could not pronounce correctly. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/43 "2003-06-03T21:24:31Z")
I’m not suggesting anything… But now you know the mental picture I get everytime I read your name. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/44 "2003-06-03T21:24:31Z")
Little red riding hood? Or mebbe… Ralph? Seriously - don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/45 "2003-06-03T21:37:41Z")
(Blank) the sperminator will be cool. What? I had to. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/46 "2003-06-03T21:50:37Z")
Percy. (If you go on [www.imdb.com](http://www.imdb.com), you’ll get the joke.) ---
**Author:** ![Severian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@Severian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Severian)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/47 "2003-06-03T22:14:56Z")
Vlad. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/48 "2003-06-03T22:27:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rhinostylee \* > **I would be honored if you named your penis after me. My name is Ryan.** Call it your private Ryan. Or “The Penis Mightier than the Sword.” ---
**Author:** ![Siegfried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Siegfried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siegfried)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/49 "2003-06-03T23:00:26Z")
Just call him **The Commander-In-Chief**. Have a friend follow you everywhere with a tape player so that you can have “Hail to the Chief” blare every time you unzip. ---
**Author:** ![sunfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@sunfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunfish)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/50 "2003-06-03T23:20:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dawne \* > \*\*I’ve yet to meet a guy who’s named it Herman. \*\* Actually, I have, but that was a long time ago… From other friends, I’ve heard Mr. Happy, Undercover Brother, lil bro. It IS kinda goofy to give it a name, but I personally don’t mind if someone has a sense of humor about things. Just don’t overdo it. **Severian** - 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MajorTom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@MajorTom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MajorTom)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/51 "2003-06-04T00:23:31Z")
Jose ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/52 "2003-06-04T02:32:54Z")
Will it come when you call? ---
**Author:** ![Adoptamom\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/53 "2003-06-04T02:57:40Z")
My almost 12 year old son has been bugging me to open this thread and let him read it. You’ll all be glad to know I waited until after he went to bed 🙂 He’ll have to think of his own penis name and I do NOT want to know about it :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MajorTom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@MajorTom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MajorTom)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284/54 "2003-06-04T03:13:46Z")
Once heard of a hispanic guy who had 2 of them. He named one Jose the other hose B. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-name-my-penis/179284.md?page=2)