# Help me pick a US city to (maybe) move to **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 20, 2015, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058 "2015-11-20T07:27:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2015, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/41 "2015-11-22T20:24:42Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Here’s what I’m looking for, in rough order of importance: > 2) Adequate public transit. I have neither the means nor desire to own a car. > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Kansas City has all those things too. I enjoy living in Kansas City and think it has a lot to offer in many ways, but public transit isn’t really one of them. The bus system could be adequate for certain place of residence/place of work/lifestyle combinations, but it’s rather limited. Not having a car can be tough here. ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2015, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/42 "2015-11-22T20:48:16Z")
Baltimore checking in. We pretty much check all your boxes. My mortgage in a three bedroom house in a nice neighborhood is $1k. Public transit is decent, particularly if you don’t mind adding the occasional lyft/uber into the mix. Not up to DC/NYC/Chicago standards, but you can get where you’re going. It’s a pretty liberal city and while I’m not into the queer scene, I understand it’s decently large. Our beer/restaurant scene is constantly growing and there’s pretty much always something to do. And we’re an hour train ride from DC were lots of fun stuff lives without paying to live there. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/43 "2015-11-23T01:09:42Z")
I’ve always had a soft spot for Baltimore, it’s a real city in a way DC isn’t. If I could find work there, I’d live in B’more. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/44 "2015-11-23T01:36:45Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I’ve always had a soft spot for Baltimore, it’s a real city in a way DC isn’t. If I could find work there, I’d live in B’more. It’s really a lot like Philly though - just smaller. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/45 "2015-11-23T06:38:24Z")
> [@Mr.Nylock](#): > > DC is pretty liberal AFAICT, but I would consider it a much more status conscious place than, say, Albuquerque. I grew up in Philadelphia and spent most of my life there - it’s definitely a whole different ball of wax in my opinion. There is plenty to do, and whatever you are interested in there’s probably 30 different meetups focused on that thing. > > It’s easy to meet interesting people but very difficult to form any real bonds; it’s just not that kind of place. I think there are few places in the world where you will find such a concentration of highly educated people. A very significant portion of people here are highly focused on advancing their career and once they get to a certain point they tend to move elsewhere to establish roots, start a family etc. It’s as if they come to DC as a little minnow and then grow into an adult fish that goes somewhere else to spawn I haven’t lived in DC longer than I care to admit, but this lines up with my experience. While many aspects of the city are fabulous (great free museums, excellent public transit), the “if it didn’t happen inside the beltway it’s not important” mentality, along with the very particular and conservative approach to what’s considered appropriate dress, are (or were) kind of off-putting. It’s no place to date, either, from what I can tell (I was married before I moved there, so I don’t have personal experience of that.) ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/46 "2015-11-23T11:02:38Z")
The problem with DC is all the transients who come here to make a buck and then get out. They don’t really put down roots and they never really become members of the community. You can spot them because they want to tell you how things should be done based on wherever they are from; as a native of the DC area, for 49 years I’ve been wanting to ask one of them if things were so great where they came from, why did they leave and come here? I haven’t been single in a long time, but my nephew was until recently and he didn’t seem to have any trouble. There is a huge difference between life in the city and life in the surrounding burbs. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2015, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/47 "2015-11-23T12:58:26Z")
If you could reconsider the size criteria, I suggest a northern college town. Even though I went to the “other school”, I recommend Ann Arbor. Very diverse, very liberal, very tolerant. Detroit and all of its offerings are but a short drive away, but you can get most everything you want in A-squared. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2015, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/48 "2015-12-04T01:52:52Z")
So has the OP made a decision yet? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2015, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/49 "2015-12-04T04:15:25Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > The problem with DC is all the transients who come here to make a buck and then get out. They don’t really put down roots and they never really become members of the community. You can spot them because they want to tell you how things should be done based on wherever they are from; as a native of the DC area, for 49 years I’ve been wanting to ask one of them if things were so great where they came from, why did they leave and come here? > > I haven’t been single in a long time, but my nephew was until recently and he didn’t seem to have any trouble. There is a huge difference between life in the city and life in the surrounding burbs. I think you sort of answered your own question in a way. I came to DC simply because the job opportunities were severely limited in Philadelphia. I am someone who will do what needs to be done even if I don’t particularly like it; so 4 years ago me and my SO moved to DC because it was where we could find better(meaning better than $12/hr part time no benefit) jobs. The job market is much better than it was in Philly, so I am grateful for that. In reality though, DC is a town for thoroughbreds and I am a mule. I’m just a different species of animal to the core of my being than the types of people DC would normally attract and retain. I don’t have anything against DC, but on the other hand the mentality is one that is very status focused. That does not mean that everyone cares about the same sorts of status, but whatever people are into, they are very into it, and they are usually very accomplished. I don’t see anything particularly wrong with it or think it should change; but by the same token me and my SO are fish out of water here - most people with personalities like ours do not stay very long here AFAICT. I have gone to considerable lengths to become part of whatever community there is here, but it’s just not like where I am from - forming those kinds of bonds with people here is something I have been unable to do. On the other hand, maybe I just don’t know the right places to go to. So, If there is some group of people in DC who are indifferent to where you went to school, how you dress, how prestigious the job you have is, don’t always feel the need to name drop, go on about political nonsense, that are able to talk to you and not at you, don’t flake out half the time when trying to have a get together and are just generally concerned about you as a person let me know where that place is and I’ll go there. Those are the type of people that make a community that people like me would want to establish roots in. ---
**Author:** ![Deeg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deeg/32/2955_2.png) [@Deeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deeg)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2015, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/50 "2015-12-04T04:53:33Z")
What about Salt Lake City? They just elected their first openly gay mayor and it’s relatively cheap. It’s got all four seasons and the mountains are beautiful, especially in the winter. Tons of outdoor activities. Not much of a public transit system, though, outside of buses, and you’re not too far from one of the most conservative areas in the country (Provo-Orem corridor). ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2015, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/51 "2015-12-04T12:25:00Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > So has the OP made a decision yet? Nope, and I probably won’t for a month or so at least. First I need to get through a whirlwind tour of Japan, ensure everything that I own has in fact made it safely back to the US, then survive the Holiday Season with relatives I haven’t seen in two years. I think, though, I’ve considerably narrowed the list down, to the following: Albuquerque, Boston\*, Cleveland, DC, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh. Albuquerque’s still there because I’ve realized I’m within a few months of being able go to there and gorge myself to death on sweet, sweet New Mexican food (I lived in Santa Fe for five years). Boston is obviously still iffy, price-wise, but an old college roommate lives there and we’re going to have a long catch-up once I’m back in that time zone and I’m going to pick her brain about it. I’ve got family in the Cleveland and DC areas and will be visiting them within the next month. I’m definitely going to use “I dunno, might move here” as an excuse to escape the festive togetherness for a day in both places and have a good wander. I’m going to try and swing a day in Pittsburgh on the way to or from Cleveland, as my best friend lives in the area(ish). I’d love to visit the other places as well, but that’ll be contingent on finding really cheap airfare. ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2015, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/52 "2015-12-04T14:01:12Z")
Think of London, small city Dark, dark in the daytime People sleep, sleep in the daytime If they want to, if they want to I’m checking them out, I’m checking them out I got it figured out, I got it figured out Good points some bad points But it all works out, I’m a little freaked out Find a city, find you a city to live in I will find a city, find yourself a city to live in. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2015, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/53 "2015-12-04T14:37:28Z")
> [@Mr.Nylock](#): > > …On the other hand, maybe I just don’t know the right places to go to. So, If there is some group of people in DC who are indifferent to where you went to school, how you dress, how prestigious the job you have is, don’t always feel the need to name drop, go on about political nonsense, that are able to talk to you and not at you, don’t flake out half the time when trying to have a get together and are just generally concerned about you as a person let me know where that place is and I’ll go there. Those are the type of people that make a community that people like me would want to establish roots in. They’re called native Washingtonians. My next door neighbors are a parking lot attendant and a nurse, just regular people, who happen to have been born here. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2015, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/54 "2015-12-04T15:42:25Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > … I’m within a few months of being able go to there and gorge myself to death on sweet, sweet New Mexican food (I lived in Santa Fe for five years). Ever go to Tomasita’s Restaurant? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2015, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/55 "2015-12-04T21:48:12Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > They’re called native Washingtonians. My next door neighbors are a parking lot attendant and a nurse, just regular people, who happen to have been born here. Alright; _where_ do I go to meet these kinds of people? It is a serious question - I don’t doubt their existence, but where does one go if they are not from here and want to meet such people? The vast majority of people I meet are transplants, so mostly what I say would only apply to that group. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2015, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/56 "2015-12-04T23:25:07Z")
Honestly the best way is to go to your ANC meetings, you’ll meet old timers and new people who are interested in putting down roots. Not to be snarky, but the people who complain about DC are the ones who often seem to be part of the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2015, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/57 "2015-12-05T00:02:23Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Honestly the best way is to go to your ANC meetings, you’ll meet old timers and new people who are interested in putting down roots. Not to be snarky, but the people who complain about DC are the ones who often seem to be part of the problem. I’m not complaining about DC, I am just stating what I like and do not like what I think is good or bad and what I have experienced . I am just describing the city as I have experienced it; the majority of things I have listed have been positive. I am not “complaining” about DC any more than you are complaining about DC when you say it is expensive, or that it is not a real city in the way Baltimore is. Ironically (considering your frustration with uninvolved transplants), your responses in which you mean “not to be snarky” are somehow failing to make me enthusiastic about meeting more native DC people. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2015, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058/58 "2015-12-05T00:09:31Z")
Your call, it seems weird to wait to start living your life at some future unannounced date. Believe me, my snark comes from decades of revolving door transplants dipping a toe in and never even registering their car in the city, but feel qualified to register their disdain. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-pick-a-us-city-to-maybe-move-to/738058.md?page=2)