# Help me plan Trump's Inauguration **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 23, 2016, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491 "2016-12-23T22:49:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/21 "2016-12-28T04:15:27Z")
“Aardvaark, Aaron A. Aardvaark, Abe…” I alphabetized the list, was gonna print it out, but realized I only had about ten reams of paper, won’t even get to “B”. Or not to “B”?.. ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/22 "2016-12-28T04:58:40Z")
Maybe they could get Garfunkel and Oates to do “Save the Rich”. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/23 "2016-12-28T12:55:35Z")
They could get a lineup of Republican Party bigwigs to do their “sit”, “roll over”, “beg”, etc routines in a literal performance-art sense. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/24 "2016-12-28T13:10:33Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > They could get a lineup of Republican Party bigwigs to do their “sit”, “roll over”, “beg”, etc routines in a literal performance-art sense. Ted Cruz would look great jumping through a hoop! ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/25 "2016-12-28T15:33:44Z")
Another flourish – a stage-magic act where you put a GOP apparatchiks sporting NeverTrump t-shirts and signs and, presto-chango, when the puff of smoke clears they’re all staring into space wearing made-in-China Trumpware and MAGA caps. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/26 "2016-12-30T15:13:09Z")
I fully expect the Bible he has to borrow for the oath will burst into flames when he touches it - no pyrotechnics required!! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/27 "2016-12-30T15:22:09Z")
Now, Universe, I know I haven’t been a very good pantheist. But if you could just give me this one sign… ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/28 "2016-12-30T15:38:07Z")
Opening Act: Ted Nugent. Followed by The Beach Boy, with Mike Huckabee sitting in on bass. Several of the Rockettes dancing to an ABBA medley. Ted Nugent’s Greatest Hits, with special guest stars Kid Rock and Pat Boone. Special video presentation, Ted Nugent and surprise guest Sarah Palin bow-hunt, clean and dress a liberal. Encore will be demanded by audience, entire cast and crew sing “This Land Is My Land, This Land Is My Land” by Wood E. Guthry. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/29 "2016-12-30T15:45:11Z")
Trump: “Uh…what do you call that act?!” Performer: “The Aristocrats!” ---
**Author:** ![Me\_Billy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Me\_Billy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Billy)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/30 "2016-12-30T15:54:55Z")
Try the Russian Bolshoi Ballet. I’m sure they would be happy to celebrate with their friend. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/31 "2016-12-30T16:23:34Z")
The Tabernacle is [down one singer already](https://www.rawstory.com/2016/12/singer-quits-mormon-tabernacle-choir-rather-than-sing-for-trump-i-could-never-throw-roses-to-hitler/): “I could never throw roses to Hitler.” ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/32 "2016-12-30T18:50:57Z")
I read an article that Nickelback would be performing at the inauguration, but alas, it was a fake news story. For a few seconds I had a good laugh, though, before I found out it was fake. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/33 "2016-12-30T19:22:04Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > The Tabernacle is [down one singer already](https://www.rawstory.com/2016/12/singer-quits-mormon-tabernacle-choir-rather-than-sing-for-trump-i-could-never-throw-roses-to-hitler/): “I could never throw roses to Hitler.” Well, all I can say is [Hallelujah!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usfiAsWR4qU) ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/34 "2016-12-30T21:43:48Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Ted Nugent’s Greatest Hits That’ll be an extremely short set. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/35 "2016-12-30T23:52:35Z")
[College marching band from Illinois to perform at Trump inaugural parade](http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-illinoisans-trump-ianuguration-parade-met-1230-20161230-story.html). Olivet Nazarene University is theologically grounded in the Wesleyan tradition. Of course :smack:! I never thought of Trump as a Wesleyan but now, with this revelation, the scales have fallen from my eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/36 "2016-12-30T23:59:15Z")
I want them to read Charlie Sheen’s latest tweet as the prayer at the inauguration. \*Dear God; Trump next, please! Trump next, please! Trump next, please! Trump next, please! Trump next, please! Trump next, please! \* ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2016, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/37 "2016-12-31T00:14:49Z")
Kanye will sing a special new version of _Gold Digger_ dedicated to Melania, this one ending with “Wait, I _am_ saying that, but… that’s okay!” The guy who played Puck on _Glee_ and recently got arrested for possession of child porn might be available. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2016, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/38 "2016-12-31T00:23:58Z")
> [@Ponch8](#): > > I read an article that Nickelback would be performing at the inauguration, but alas, it was a fake news story. For a few seconds I had a good laugh, though, before I found out it was fake. It would had shown that Donald wanted all to get used to torture… ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2016, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/39 "2016-12-31T02:35:07Z")
Any artist would serve but certainly a spirited rendition of _Hit The Road, Jack (And Don’t You Come Back No More)_ directed at the former President would make a suitable addition to the festive occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2016, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491/40 "2016-12-31T02:49:12Z")
Bite my ass, **aldi**. > [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#): > > Maybe The Cheeky Girls could perform [“Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35UUsMnwquo). No, seriously - I’m pretty sure they’d be available. That is…the most marvelous thing I have ever seen. I want that playing on an endless loop during my funeral service. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-plan-trumps-inauguration/775491.md?page=3)