# Help me please \[learn English\]. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 9, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136 "2011-08-09T22:54:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dollyy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@dollyy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dollyy)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/1 "2011-08-09T22:54:18Z")
I am new member of this community…please help me out to learn an English fast…It ll be big favor for me…thanks… ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/2 "2011-08-09T23:05:38Z")
Welcome! We are anispeptic, frasmotic, and even compunctuous to have you onboard with our pericombobulations! ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/3 "2011-08-09T23:09:10Z")
How would you like us to help? Welcome, by the way. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2011, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/4 "2011-08-09T23:10:06Z")
Welcome to the Straight Dope, **dollyy!** Unfortunately, you haven’t given us much to go on. What do you need the most help with? Grammar? Usage? Idioms? Syntax? Pronunciation? Without a more specific question, it’ll be hard for us to help you. If you do have a specific question, you can post it in the GQ (General Questions) forum. However, those of us who frequent the forum tend to refer posters to Google for very simple questions, so it’s best to try a search before posting. For example, a question such as “What is the past tense of run?” is best answered using a Google search. The best way to learn English (or any language) is to use it, so try to participate in other threads if you can. That will also help you acquaint yourself with the culture of the board. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/5 "2011-08-10T04:34:03Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > …The best way to learn English (or any language) is to use it, so try to participate in other threads if you can. That will also help you acquaint yourself with the culture of the board. Which of course has very little to do with actual culture. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/6 "2011-08-10T04:54:03Z")
Cynically reported as spam. Apologies if it’s not. ---
**Author:** ![constanze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@constanze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/constanze)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/7 "2011-08-10T15:38:52Z")
1. What is your native language? 2. Do you have a webcam and good Internet connection? 3. Are you therefore looking for a[tandem partner](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tandem_language_learning) who’s a native English speaker and interested in learning your language? If that is what you mean, you should post in another forum, not General Questions, but Mundane Stuff … or In My Humble Opinion. And make the title of your new thread more clear, like “Native speaker of … looking for native English speaker as tandem partner”. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/8 "2011-08-10T16:11:49Z")
Since this person is not a native english speaker, it would probably help if we all talked really loud! ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/9 "2011-08-10T18:42:03Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Since this person is not a native english speaker, it would probably help > > if we all talked really loud! > [@Smeghead](#): > > Welcome! We are anispeptic, frasmotic, and even compunctuous to have you onboard with our pericombobulations! Guys, that’s not helpful in any way, whatsoever, stop being bombastic with the OP! :mad: If you want to learn a language fast and have some cash to do it with, then [Rosetta Stone](http://www.rosettastone.com/learn-english) is probably your best bet. Don’t have money to spend on it? Then there are some free options online, just watch out for viruses and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/10 "2011-08-10T19:01:29Z")
> [@Bosstrain](#): > > Guys, that’s not helpful in any way, whatsoever, stop being bombastic with the OP! :mad: > > If you want to learn a language fast and have some cash to do it with, then [Rosetta Stone](http://www.rosettastone.com/learn-english) is probably your best bet. Don’t have money to spend on it? Then there are some free options online, just watch out for viruses and stuff. How would a person who doesn’t know English understand your response and why wouldn’t they ask that question in their native language at a site that understands them? Also, If I wanted help in learning a language (example Cantonese) and I went to a Cantonese message board I would have to understand the language in order to navigate to the section of the board that is relative to my question. I would also state that my native language is (X) so that the responders would know what my starting point was. It doesn’t do any good to point a Spanish speaking person who wants to learn English to a website that helps German speaking people learn English. So it looks like **Dollyy** is either purposefully posing or has somehow asked for help in such a way that she cannot possibly benefit from the responses. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/11 "2011-08-10T19:36:35Z")
Uh-oh, **BuddaDog** ’s got a stick somewhere un-mentionable. :eek: Obviously the person knows some English, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to find there way around the message board at all. True, maybe it is a bogus post, but I’ve spent my fair share of time around people who speak broken English, most of which had a terrible time trying to read it, and some could grasp basic words they saw, it was just the fine details they had trouble with. The OP (if he/she is a foreigner for real), is far more intelligent than given credit for, has anyone else ever tried stepping out of their comfort zone to learn another language? My guess is no, and even if you have, try going to the country of which said language is native to and attempt talking to someone there. After doing that, come back and tell me how many funny looks you got. Trust me, English speaking people bucher other languages on a grand scale, even I can tell how bad it is, and I don’t speak other languages (I know some Spanish taught to me by Latinos a long time ago, forgot most of it). The fact that the thread is titled “help me please” and the OP is struggling somewhat with sentence structure, it’s a fairly reasonable possibility that this is genuine, and if I was to put money on it I’d say the their original language is Spanish, just a guess though, sounds kinda’ like my old Spanish buddies from way back. There also seems to be a firm grasp on words and spelling, just needs a shove in the right direction is all to profect it further, I’m appalled at how ignorant those in the USA are of foreigners. I give massive props to anyone who can learn another language, especially if the second language they’re trying to learn is English, it’s by far the most difficult, especially when used properly, which I doubt half the people on this message board can do. Sad really, people who speak Engilsh can’t use it half as good as foreigners in some cases :smack:. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/12 "2011-08-10T19:54:07Z")
Assuming the OP is genuine, the only mistakes he / she made were in the use of the article: omitted twice (“I am new member”; “be big favor”) and added once (“learn an English”). This suggests an original language without articles—maybe Arabic or Russian. I’m guessing Arabic based on the inconsistent capitalization and the punctuation, but until **dollyy** comes back, there’s no way to know, and I think we’ve scared him or her away. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/13 "2011-08-10T20:08:53Z")
I agree, **Dr. Drake** , on second look, it does seem more like Arabic. The first response was so antagonistic the OP probably figured the rest of the posts would be just as stupid. Nice going **Smeghead** , your name serves you well, I can’t even think of a greater insult, so there’s no need to waste time calling you any more. No wonder people in other countries think we (in the USA) are all cowboys :rolleyes:. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/14 "2011-08-10T20:41:52Z")
Good call on the articles, guys. I grew up around a lot of people whose 1st language was Polish and 2nd (or 3rd, or whatever … ) was English, and wow, articles are _hard_ for people who haven’t grown up with the concept. Sheer curiosity: what made you think Arabic? ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/15 "2011-08-10T20:54:37Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Good call on the articles, guys. I grew up around a lot of people whose 1st language was Polish and 2nd (or 3rd, or whatever … ) was English, and wow, articles are _hard_ for people who haven’t grown up with the concept. My Japanese wife has been in this country almost 60 years, and still has trouble with articles. I agree that poor **dollyy** probably has given up, which is really a shame. If only the first few responders had written simple English and had given some valid advice (such as checking with a community collage, or other places that might give English As a Second Language lessons), it might have really helped. I am surprised at how many Dopers on this thread were just trying to show off or be funny, when the poor OP (if valid) was seeking help. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/16 "2011-08-10T20:58:57Z")
That’s us - always giving the benefit of the doubt, even when there’s a chance we’re being scammed. I’m very proud of us! 🙂 Thanks Q ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/17 "2011-08-10T20:59:07Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Sheer curiosity: what made you think Arabic? Not to be insensitive at all, but try saying it in an Arabic voice, it also works in an oriental voice as well kinda’. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/18 "2011-08-10T21:03:12Z")
> [@KlondikeGeoff](#): > > I am surprised at how many Dopers on this thread were just trying to show off or be funny, when the poor OP (if valid) was seeking help. +1. Wish I had gotten here sooner, but that’s that, now we’re all lumped together because of a couple dumb posts. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/19 "2011-08-10T21:18:34Z")
> [@Bosstrain](#): > > …The OP (if he/she is a foreigner for real), is far more intelligent than given credit for, has anyone else ever tried stepping out of their comfort zone to learn another language? My guess is no… There are all kinds of websites and message boards one can go to get practice in another language. I’d be curious to know how the OP ended up here. But if I were s/he, I would post any questions about explicit grammar points. The barrage of long-winded answers would end up being useless, and anyway there are tons of sites for that already. Instead, I would just ask questions about basic cultural things that confused me, for example in TV ads, show clips, etc. that can be linked via Youtube. The language-specific stuff will come out in the process of posters explaining. That would provide a focus on specific, manageable and contextualized samples. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136/20 "2011-08-10T21:19:03Z")
Poor thing, probably will never learn english without the help of the Dope. :rolleyes: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-please-learn-english/592136.md?page=2)