# Help me remember a joke about an Elephant and a Mouse **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 23, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-a-joke-about-an-elephant-and-a-mouse/59161 "2001-03-23T15:57:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-a-joke-about-an-elephant-and-a-mouse/59161/1 "2001-03-23T15:57:55Z")
It’s something like this… An elephant gets a thorn caught in his foot, and a mouse happens to pull it out. To show his gratitude, the elephant says he’ll do any favor that the mouse wants. The mouse says “I’ve always wanted to f\*\*k an elephant”. The elephant says o.k., the mouse lifts the elephants tail and starts going to town. About that time a coconut falls out of a tree and bonks the elephant on the head. The elephant says “Ow!”, and the mouse says something like … “That’s right, bitch, you’re going to take it no matter how much it hurts!” I know someone out there has heard it before. Anyone care to polish it up a little? E ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-a-joke-about-an-elephant-and-a-mouse/59161/2 "2001-03-23T16:28:34Z")
My Dad tells it slightly differently. In his version, a hunter shoots the elephant and she cries out in pain (it helps if you can make an elephant noise at this point. The last line can either be "and the mouse withdrew and said tenderly to the elephant ‘My dear, if it hurts you, I’ll stop’ " or "and the mouse shouted ‘Yeah, that’s right, bitch, you _love_ it’ " You could embellish the story with the mouse going to the DIY store to buy a ladder and climbing up it to get to the elephant’s meat emporium. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-a-joke-about-an-elephant-and-a-mouse/59161/3 "2001-03-23T17:21:28Z")
- An elephant was walking across the savannah when he heard a little mouse cry out for help. Looking around, he saw the mouse trapped in a hole. The mouse asked for the elephant’s help in getting out. First, the elephant looked for a tree branch. But they were miles from any trees. Next, the elephant tried to lower his trunk into the hole, but he couldn’t get it down far enough for the mouse to grab on to. Then the elephant had an idea. He stood over the hole and closed his eyes. The mouse was afraid of what was coming next. But to his surprise, the elephant’s penis started to grow. It got longer and longer until the mouse could scamper up it. The elephant then moved him to safety. The mouse promised to make up the favor. A week later, the mouse was walking along when he heard a cry for help from his elephant friend. Amazingly, the elephant was trapped in an elephant-sized hole. The mouse surmized quickly that the same trick that the elephant had used wouldn’t help his elephant friend. He then got an idea, and ran off. The mouse returned driving his Mercedes. He grapped a chain to the bumper, and tossed the other end to the elephant. He got into the car and floored it. The pull of the car was just enough for the elephant to clamber out and to safety. **The moral of the story: if you have a Mercedes, you don’t need a big dick.** \* ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-a-joke-about-an-elephant-and-a-mouse/59161/4 "2001-03-23T17:31:34Z")
According to [http://sickjokes.miningco.com/comedy/sickjokes/library/blarchiv.htm](http://sickjokes.miningco.com/comedy/sickjokes/library/blarchiv.htm) > [@](#): > > One day, while an elephant was walking through the woods, she got a thorn stuck in her foot. She saw an ant passing and asked him to help her get the thorn out. > > The ant asked, “What do I get in return?” > > The elephant replied, “If you get it out, I’ll have sex with you.” > > So the ant gets busy taking the thorn out. When he finally gets it out he looks up at the elephant and says “OK it’s out, are you ready?”. > > The elephant thinks, “Hey, what’s a little ant gonna do anyways?” The ant climbs up and starts to work away. Just then a monkey overhead drops a coconut on the elephant’s head. > > “Ouch” screams the elephant, and the ant responds, “Yeah take it all bitch.” Told in the movie “Center Stage” too. ---
**Author:** ![Zweistein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/54ee81/32.png) [@Zweistein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zweistein)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-a-joke-about-an-elephant-and-a-mouse/59161/5 "2001-03-23T18:04:17Z")
Don’t know a joke about elephants and mice, but I know one with an elephant and ants: A elephant tramples into an ant’s nest. Most ants are killed, some survive. One ant manages to climb on the back of the elephant. All surviving ants then shout at the ant on the back: Kill him ! Kill him !