# Help me remember this movie about a couple and how they grow more distant over many years **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 6, 2017, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570 "2017-03-06T19:26:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/1 "2017-03-06T19:26:54Z")
I saw this movie maybe back in the 1980s. I was thinking the male lead was Robert de Niro but couldn’t find anything like this in his filmography. Set at first in the 1950s or 60s, a couple meet, fall in love get married. The man becomes more focused on his business (or maybe he was a mobster, I’m a little fuzzy on that) and the couple grows apart. It traces their marriage over many years and does an impressive job of aging the characters throughout. I think they may get divorced towards the end. I can’t remember if they had children. That’s all I got. Let me know if it rings a bell. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/2 "2017-03-06T19:40:42Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > I saw this movie maybe back in the 1980s. I was thinking the male lead was Robert de Niro but couldn’t find anything like this in his filmography. Set at first in the 1950s or 60s, a couple meet, fall in love get married. The man becomes more focused on his business (or maybe he was a mobster, I’m a little fuzzy on that) and the couple grows apart. It traces their marriage over many years and does an impressive job of aging the characters throughout. I think they may get divorced towards the end. I can’t remember if they had children. > > That’s all I got. Let me know if it rings a bell. _ **Goodfellas** _, with Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesci, Ray Liotta, and Lorraine Bracco? > **[Goodfellas (1990) ⭐ 8.7 | Biography, Crime, Drama](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099685/)** > > 2h 25m | R ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/3 "2017-03-06T19:56:41Z")
Sounds like [Two for the Road](http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0062407/?ref_=m_nmfmd_act_7) with Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/4 "2017-03-06T20:01:05Z")
Thanks, that might have been it. I just watched the trailer. Funny that the main thing I remembered was the relationship, not all the crime stuff. Also funny that if you asked me whether I had ever seen “Goodfellas” I would say no, but maybe I did. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/5 "2017-03-06T20:02:35Z")
This definitely isn’t your movie, but it has points of similarity – **Same Time Next Year** , based on the play by Bernard Slade. It traces a highly improbable couple who have an affair only once a year, and traces them through time. The movie version (1978) starred Alan Alda and Ellen Burstyn (the play had originally starred Charles Grodin and Burstyn) > **[Same Time, Next Year (film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same_Time,_Next_Year_(film))** > > Same Time, Next Year is a 1978 American romantic comedy-drama film directed by Robert Mulligan. The screenplay by Bernard Slade is based on his 1975 play of the same title. The film stars Alan Alda and Ellen Burstyn (the latter reprising her Broadway role). > In 1951, at an inn on the Mendocino County coast, Doris (Ellen Burstyn), a 24-year-old housewife from Oakland, meets George (Alan Alda), a 27-year-old accountant from New Jersey at dinner. They have a sexual tryst, and despite the fact that b... > **[Same Time, Next Year (play)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same_Time,_Next_Year_(play))** > > Same Time, Next Year is a 1975 romantic comedy play by Bernard Slade. The plot focuses on two people, married to others, who meet for a romantic tryst once a year for two dozen years. > New Jersey accountant George Peters and Oakland housewife Doris meet at a Northern California inn in February 1951. They have an affair, and agree to meet once a year, despite the fact both are married to others and have six children between them. > Over the course of the next 24 years, they develop an emotional int... ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/6 "2017-03-06T21:06:34Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > This definitely isn’t your movie, but it has points of similarity – **Same Time Next Year** , based on the play by Bernard Slade. It traces a highly improbable couple who have an affair only once a year, and traces them through time. The movie version (1978) starred Alan Alda and Ellen Burstyn (the play had originally starred Charles Grodin and Burstyn) > > [Same Time, Next Year (film) - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same_Time,_Next_Year_(film)) > > [Same Time, Next Year (play) - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same_Time,_Next_Year_(play)) RIght one both counts: not the one I was thinking of but a good pick and I did see that movie. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2017, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/7 "2017-03-06T21:22:11Z")
There’s also **Scenes from a Marriage** , but that’s a Bergman thing. And they get divorced pretty early on, iirc. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/8 "2017-03-07T02:12:49Z")
**“Mr. and Mrs. Bridge”**? > **[Mr. and Mrs. Bridge](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._and_Mrs._Bridge)** > > Mr. & Mrs. Bridge is a 1990 American drama film based on the novels by Evan S. Connell of the same name. It is directed by James Ivory, with a screenplay by Ruth Prawer Jhabvala, and produced by Ismail Merchant. > The film stars real-life couple Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward as Mr. and Mrs. Bridge. The character of Mrs. Bridge is based on Connell's mother, Ruth Connell. > The story of a traditionally minded family living in the Country Club District of Kansas City, Missouri, during the 1930s and ... It was Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, and I remember it being very good. _Never mind. It was 1990, you saw the movie in the 80s, and the question has already been answered._ ---
**Author:** ![mcgato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@mcgato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mcgato)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/9 "2017-03-07T14:12:22Z")
I doubt this is right, but it is somewhat similar: [Shoot the Moon](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084675/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1) is from 1982 and stars Albert Finney and Diane Keaton. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/10 "2017-03-07T14:44:46Z")
> [@mcgato](#): > > I doubt this is right, but it is somewhat similar: [Shoot the Moon](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084675/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1) is from 1982 and stars Albert Finney and Diane Keaton. That movie begins with a divorce as I recall. I saw that movie in the theater when it first came out. It was my very first date. What an awkward afternoon. In retrospect she was very kind to me. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/11 "2017-03-07T14:44:48Z")
Colour me impressed anyone could watch Goodfellas and remember the relationship bits but forget the crime and carnage! ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/12 "2017-03-07T14:54:29Z")
So, was it Goodfellas? I would be stunned if it was. It’s like one of those bad TV Guide descriptions. “A shoe shiner’s best friend marries the woman he loves. But the couple grows apart over the years.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/13 "2017-03-07T16:12:17Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Colour me impressed anyone could watch Goodfellas and remember the relationship bits but forget the crime and carnage! Maybe he’s just a funny guy… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/14 "2017-03-07T17:22:01Z")
[War of the Roses](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_War_of_the_Roses_(film))? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/15 "2017-03-07T17:30:48Z")
A very under appreciated movie with DiNero and Streep is [_Falling in Love_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falling_in_Love_(1984_film)). I don’t think this is the movie you are looking for, but it’s definitely worth a viewing. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/16 "2017-03-07T18:53:12Z")
There’s a very famous montage in _Citizen Kane_ that tells that whole story (happy couple gets married, he becomes more and more interested in his business, they age and grow apart, and get divorced) in just a couple of minutes. When I say “very famous” I mean, it’s literally one of the most famous montages in American cinematic history and you do yourself a disservice if you don’t watch it. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/wvFOLQhTZB4/hqdefault.jpg "Citizen Kane (Marriage Montage)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvFOLQhTZB4) ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2017, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/17 "2017-03-08T04:41:59Z")
> [@Barkis is Willin'](#): > > So, was it Goodfellas? I would be stunned if it was. It’s like one of those bad TV Guide descriptions. “A shoe shiner’s best friend marries the woman he loves. But the couple grows apart over the years.” > [@elbows](#): > > Colour me impressed anyone could watch Goodfellas and remember the relationship bits but forget the crime and carnage! I’m pretty sure it was Goodfellas. I was surprised to look it up and find it was 1990; I had thought it was a few years earlier. But that’s still 27 years ago. And I’ll be damned if I can explain why I remembered which parts. I could guess but I think it would take a shrink. One thing I remember vividly is thinking that the makeup people did an amazing job of aging deNiro. I could write a lot of those bad TV Guide descriptions based on my memory 🙂 I think I’ll get it on DVD and watch it again (I have Netflix DVD plus streaming, but like every other movie I want to watch it’s not available on streaming). ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2017, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/18 "2017-03-08T06:28:09Z")
I would think Casino fits a little better doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2017, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/19 "2017-03-08T09:21:39Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > This definitely isn’t your movie, but it has points of similarity – **Same Time Next Year** , based on the play by Bernard Slade. It traces a highly improbable couple who have an affair only once a year, and traces them through time. The movie version (1978) starred Alan Alda and Ellen Burstyn (the play had originally starred Charles Grodin and Burstyn) > > [Same Time, Next Year (film) - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same_Time,_Next_Year_(film)) > > [Same Time, Next Year (play) - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same_Time,_Next_Year_(play)) This is what I immediately thought of, but in my mind, the links worked. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2017, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570/20 "2017-03-08T14:52:32Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > I would think Casino fits a little better doesn’t it? I read a synopsis and viewed the trailer and it doesn’t look like Casino is set over a long enough time span. Same tone though. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-remember-this-movie-about-a-couple-and-how-they-grow-more-distant-over-many-years/781570.md?page=2)