# Help Me Rename My Son
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [April 21, 2001, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821 "2001-04-21T23:24:44Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2001, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/1 "2001-04-21T23:24:44Z")
I have a “spirited” 18-month-old boy. On this board, I often refer to him as BabyGuy, because he’s my baby, and he exhibits many genuinely guy-like qualities (love of engines, fire, and women–not necessarily in that order–being the primary examples).
But now he’s getting bigger, and is starting to outgrow his babyness. He’s developed a fondness for destruction, as pretty much all toddlers do (his four-year-old sister, the LittleGoddess, enjoys destruction even better, hence one of her other nicknames, Dianasaurus Rex).
The appetite for destruction that the boy is showing has caused my husband and I to come up with two new names for him–Johnzilla, and Johnstrosity. For purposes of this board, though, I’ll only be using one of those names.
I like them both, though. This is where you come in. Which name do you, my fellow Dopers, like best? Polls close, oh, sometime tomorrow evening, I guess. 😃
Thanks! 😃
---
### Author:  [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/2 "2001-04-21T23:30:30Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Persephone \*
> \*\*I like them both, though. This is where you come in. Which name do you, my fellow Dopers, like best? Polls close, oh, sometime tomorrow evening, I guess. 😃
>
> Thanks! 😃 \*\*
Heh…it’s too bad Hades and Persephone never had any children according to classical mythology. That would provide a ready-made moniker!
Given the choices, however, I like Johnzilla.
jayjay (who’s trying to fit a board nickname to his Australian long-distance mateperson)
---
### Author:  [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/3 "2001-04-21T23:33:14Z")
**love** Johnzilla.
---
### Author:  [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2001, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/4 "2001-04-21T23:35:06Z")
The Chicken of Bristol is still available. 😉
---
### Author:  [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2001, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/5 "2001-04-21T23:35:32Z")
I’d have to go with Johnstrosity.
Rolls off the tongue easier and is clearer in its punniness.
Besides, Johnzilla only lends credence to the destruction aspect, Johnstrosity is a more general term encompassing the love of destruction as well as most other male hobbies.
---
### Author:  [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2001, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/6 "2001-04-21T23:35:33Z")
Put me down for **Johnzilla** – it carries the idea of destruction better.
::suddenly reminded of how our mischievous springer puppy Phyllis earned the nickname “Phyllistine”::
---
### Author:  [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2001, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/7 "2001-04-21T23:45:16Z")
**Johnstrosity** is good, but may I suggest **Bratman**?
---
### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/8 "2001-04-22T00:07:42Z")
> [@](#):
>
> may I suggest Bratman?
Well that would be good, but…he’s not a brat. He doesn’t destroy things out of maliciousness, you know? He’s compelled to seek and destroy, simply because of his toddlerness. One day he’ll either a) get over it, or b) make a living from it. 😃
---
### Author:  [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/9 "2001-04-22T00:30:03Z")
Johnzilla, easily.
“zilla” is uniquely tied to one creature, and I find it easier to pronounce than Johnstros- tros . . .tee.
---
### Author:  [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/10 "2001-04-22T00:35:54Z")
Johnzilla. And now you can lay on the floor when taking pics, to show his towering roaring destruction.
Plus, Johnzilla is an awfully cool blues gueetar moniker. 😉
---
### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/11 "2001-04-22T00:43:02Z")
Johnstrosity here.
[Marge Simpson]
It rolls off your tongue and into your heart: Johnstrosity.
[/Marge Simpson]
---
### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/12 "2001-04-22T00:43:31Z")
> [@](#):
>
> And now you can lay on the floor when taking pics, to show his towering roaring destruction.
No I can’t. That’s where most of his destruction ends up. There’s just no darn room on the floor. :eek:
---
### Author:  [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/13 "2001-04-22T00:47:46Z")
What about **Dr. No** , as ‘no’ is soon to be a favorite word?
---
### Author:  [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/14 "2001-04-22T01:07:54Z")
Johnzilla. Then you can sing Godzilla to him with the appropriate changes and he’ll think it’s pretty cool having his own song.
---
### Author:  [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/15 "2001-04-22T01:10:35Z")
Well, to convey simple, inexorable destructiveness, you could simply call him **John John**.
- ::: fleeing madly ::: \*
---
### Author:  [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/16 "2001-04-22T02:15:57Z")
how 'bout toddler guy
or guy toddler
---
### Author:  [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/17 "2001-04-22T02:22:39Z")
Good idea to change his name. My folks and their friends called me “Muffin” and it stuck.
---
### Author:  [@justwannano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justwannano)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/18 "2001-04-22T02:34:07Z")
Ah Hell just call him Clarence
“…you’re my angel, you’re my darlin,angel…”
---
### Author:  [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/19 "2001-04-22T02:51:00Z")
Johnzilla. And his sister Rhodian.
---
### Author:  [@exchicagoan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/exchicagoan)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2001, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821/20 "2001-04-22T05:14:03Z")
Another vote for JOHNZILLA.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-rename-my-son/62821.md?page=2)